Men: Real Talk?

I have been with my partner for 10 years. We have 3 children and I take care of all appointments, work, clean and cook dinner most of the time. I'm a lover so i like leaving sappy little love notes, packing his lunch without being asked, buying him things, and take care of as much as possible so he doesn't stress or get upset. I personally love to have open communication, lots of sex at least every other day but he constantly says he's tired, hardly ever text or calls me. Much less answer me when i call or text him, never gives me gis work schedule or at least tries to surprise me or help me. Instead all he doed is get mad, yells, ignores and plays on his phone and sleeps. Its as if my kids and i are a burden and finally when I've had enough i get so mad i let him know it and all he does is get mad at me more. My question is, is this just a thing men fo through or has he just fallen out of love? I've offerred to part ways peacefully so he has no obligations with no strings attached and he cries and says sorry and he loves me and the kids then gets mad when i ask why he treats us this way then.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He likely does not harbor ill feeling or dissatisfaction with you. It is unlikely you or the children are what is stressing him. He likely has another stressor in his life, that should be taken care of. Otherwise, it will likely only get worse for him. Which will then make it worse for you.

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    • I know work has him stressed but he will not drop one. He would rather sacrifice his relationship w his wife and children then quit a job. I have been waiting for this 1 job to get him full time so he can make more money then me but i fear we are running out of time because i just feel so lonely, useless, unwanted and just like the care taker of all things Mike.

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    • Okay, I admit I made a mistake there.
      But I still disagree with the second part of your first statement. The signs of his dissatisfaction of his family are all out there.

    • @Burgerboy21 But he is given opportunity for an exit from the relationship, peacefully. If he was truly unhappy with his family, he might take it. And he responded with anger at the thought of no longer seeing his children, which is the kind of reaction of someone who very much cares about them. So this would indicate that the family is not the stressor. They are just unfortunately suffering from him and his reaction to another stressor.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I honestly would doll myself up and tell him to stop acting like a jerk. Real talk brah... I am taking a personal vacation for 3 days and you figure it out... with the kids.

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    • I've done that and its good for a little and then its like nothing changed.

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    • Cuz I can be a mood mf when I am sad... Something making him upset... Maybe he concern about his life or regretting marriage life... or need to spend time doing things that make him happy.

    • So I've given him the opportunity to get out no strings attached as long as we can be civil and he refuses and says thats what i want. Really i want to fix things but i have tried everything i can think of and frankly im just too tired of fighting and busting my butt fr nothing.

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What Guys Said 4

  • He wants a family but does not have enough willpower to sustain it.

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  • Unfortunately this sounds VERY familiar, and by that I mean it sounds a lot like my own parents. It sounds to me like he doesn't love you or the kids anymore. Ignoring you for whomever's more important on the phone may potentially be a sign of cheating. And if you're unsure, be on the lookout for other signs (I'm personally sensing many red flags from what I'm reading.) But whether he is or isn't cheating, you should still be his go-to person, no matter what.
    If not for your own sake, you should divorce him for your children's sake. He sounds like he is a toxic parent.

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    • Just another thought I want to add here: from the sounds of it, he's an uninvolved parent, possibly even neglectful: the worst form of parenting second only to abusive.
      A good parent and husband will find time for his family, something he seems quite unwilling to do.

  • I can't really tell, but it sounds like there's something stressing him out. Probably something at work. I don't if you're a stay at home, but he's stressed out because he has to provide for the family by himself. It can be very stressful being the only one providing for the family especially with the cost of living going up and up. He might feel a lot of pressure at work to always stay competitive.

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    • I have a full time job as well. I go in at 5 and im off at 245 just in time to get my son from school and then go pick up my girls from the in home day care they go to. Also i have always stressed money comes and goes and rarely discuss money w him since he is all about being the provider! Its his own ego and I've tried easing the pressure by using my income majority of the time for groceries, extras, trips etc. Just so he keeps a balance in his account but I don't know maybe he just isn't in love with me anymore

    • Sorry, i didn't know you had a job. I wasn't trying to belittle you. But, then he's just taking advantage of you if you're the one paying for most of the stuff.

    • I dont see it that way, if i need $ or something he would get it i just now money is important to him and it stresses him out so id rather my check go for bills and fun and his for what ever i cannot cover.

  • I couldnt say for sure because im sure there is more to it but it does sound like he's kind of taking things for granted, sometimes people need a kick up the ass whether it be from a break/scare of breaking up or whatever. My ex's dad worked A LOT but always made a couple of hours at the end of the day/night for his family. There are zero excuses for his actions.

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    • He does work a lot from 3am to 7 pm.

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    • If you both have enough income without him working 16 hours a day im not sure why he would even want to, you should tell him you can't go on much longer with how much he isn't around and he needs to put you and the kids first instead of work. Im not sure what kind of job he has that he willingly works 16 hour days over spending those extra hours with his family.

    • I've tried that. At the end of the day its his choice and maybe i just have to go.

What Girls Said 1

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