Between a rock and a hard place?

Last week my girlfriend and I got into an argument about me going out with my friends on a certain night. My response was you have no room to talk so... To bad. I'm going out. No big deal at the time. Just figured it to be just another argument. Keep in mind things haven't been going well between us for quite some time now. So I go out that night and have a great time with friends. Nothing out of the ordinary. Then I run into an old friend I used to hang out with at one of the bars. Not just an old friend though. We are talking "Dream Girl", "Never have a chance in a million years", "Always had a boyfriend" and of course... I dated one of her cousins and kinda had a thing with another one. So definitely... Not a chance. So the night goes on and I convince her to stay out with all of us and to go to an after party and I promised I would give her a ride back to her place so she didn't have to worry about driving. At the party we start talking about old times and she asked me why we never got together... At that moment I'm pretty sure my jaw dropped to the floor. We went on with the conversation basically making fun of each other. This is me trying to keep things light hearted. I told her... So what if I didn't have a girlfriend? She said we could never happen because of some unwritten girl code that says " You can't date your first cousins ex". I just took it as she just didn't want to be with me anyways. So party ended and we take some beer to go. We road tripped down all the old country roads and even danced in the headlights. Something I hadn't done in years. Then right before we get to her house she grabs me and starts making out with me. Not only was it un-expected but... It was the best kiss I have ever had in my LIFE. Realizing that I still have a girlfriend that I love... I stopped it. Well it never went any further. I took her home and said goodnight.

What happened that night helped me realize that I needed to break up with my girlfriend. But now I can't get my friend out of my head. I can't stop thinking about the time we had... And the kiss. But I'm afraid that if I make a move too soon she will think that she made me break up with my girlfriend. Which she didn't, she just helped. Then there is the cousin thing... I'm just afraid I'm getting my hopes up too high. I'm not even positive if she even really likes me or if I could have been just any guy that night.

What should I do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Okay first off you need to be honest with your girlfriend, but from someone who went through the same exact thing and lossed not only the best guy for me for the "dream guy" the "dream guy" ended up being a complete dud! We dated for 2 years and I was totally head over heels for him but when all was said and done he was not that into me. So I moved away and prayed for forgiveness from my ex that I broke his heart because I left him on the sport for my dream guy. We were engaged at the time and I gave up so much for what I thought I wanted. But my situation ended the same way as what I did to my old fiance'. I am now after 3 years of helll! In the best realtionship with the most amazing man who I will never cheat on because I know that anytime I am tempted I will only eventually want to go back to him. So you need to be upfront with your girlfriend but sesitive, but before you take the jump make sure she is what you want because "dream girls" end up being nightmares! Trust me! This is an all to common thing! Just think it over and keep me posted!


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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • just break up with your gf... then try to pursue the other girl.

    You obviously know what you want to do!


What Guys Said 1

  • I don’t agree with our first anonymous poster… Don’t tell your ex that you kissed this girl. That’s just gonna make her feel the pain again. Besides, that’s not the reason you left her anyways. Things were going bad beforehand and the dream girl just nudged you over the edge. It was bound to happen eventually.

    So this new girl… a little sticky. First thing you need to realize is that you are likely in a rebound stage. Only you know if you are ready to date anyone… I can tell you that from my experience I need a couple of months minimum to get over a serious (+1yr) relationship.

    Regardless of that, don’t come across too desperate. She came to you because you were a little hard to come by. You were likely hesitating because you were still committed. I would nonchalantly invite her & her girls out with your boys the next time you do anything… I would make sure she knows it’s not a date, but a fun thing. She told you it wouldn’t work, but I somehow doubt she means that. My last advice would be if you do start hanging out with her, to drag the dating out a long time… I don’t think you are ready so shouldn’t commit until you do. Good luck


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