Why is the break up tough on him when he broke up with me?

He told me last night that he was sorry, and the break up has been tough for him too.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Just because you want to leave someone, and made the decision to leave doesn't make it any easier, believe me!

    Some people may not find it hard, but it's unfortunately perfectly possible to have to leave someone who you still love, and that feels like the hardest thing you've ever done at the time.

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  • He saw greener grass. Broke up to clear the decks and it didn't work or didn't happen. He gave up a sure if only adequate thing and lost and now wants to take it back. If you take him back he will eventually do it again. He has already shown you who he is-believe him that first time

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Because he still cares about you , you 2 made memories while you were together, and memories aren’t easily forgotten

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  • A couple of things I can think of, maybe to him the break up was necessary for other reasons besides not loving you anymore. But of you love someone who isn't right for you, it might take some time to get over.

    As for me, if I break up with you I get over it instantly because I never dump people I actually cared about, they must have been doing some messed up things for me to end it, so instead I'll be relieved.

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What Guys Said 31

  • If you think break-ups can't be hard on the person doing it, then you'd be an absolute fool.
    In reality no one wants to break up/be broken up because it's not a happy situation. But in the end, things didn't work out between you two. It was a tough decision to do on his part, but he felt he had to do it.

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    • The only time breaking up with someone was hard for me was when I was cheated on. Every other time I felt relief. I guess that is why it’s hard for me to relate.

  • It is probably because he is thinking about all the positives he had being with you, so it begins to pile on him and make him second guess himself. And it makes it worse on him if he knows there is absolutely no way that a chance of getting back together can happen. Plus * most* guys don't want to hurt anybody , especially their loved/exloved ones

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    • He asked me if we can reconnect somewhere down the road. I’m ignoring him as of now.. I do love him, but he is foolish to do this to me. I don’t think I want to give him another chance to break my heart again. I hope he learns from this, and doesn’t do this to someone else.

    • Yeah, that was pretty much is last act of trying to have another relationship. So now he will either come around to moving on or keep trying on occasion

  • I don't have any of the details but, the break of can actually be tough on him/the breaker-upper as much (maybe even more) than on you/the breaker-uppee.

    Your relationship doesn't have to have been shitty, he doesn't have to hate you, or any negative stuff personally to break up with you.

    It could simply be that you're incompatible long-term, he realized it and he figured it's better to end it now than string you along.

    Maybe he can't give you what you want/need, or vice versa.

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  • Probably because he left you for another girl and she dumped him already

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  • I don't know. But yes even though i initiated the breakup between me and my ex, it was tough on me cuz my parents had forced me to, when i really loved her.

    But otherwise, memories always come back. Those old feelings that dont exist anymore. The guilt of breaking her heart, the grief of losing her. Its like a nail in the heart, yknow?

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  • If anything from my observation of people, he did it because he felt incompatible and didn't want to keep dragging you along. He knows the pain is unbearable but he couldnt bear the idea of wasting your precious time when you can grow to become a woman you always want to be.

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  • Because he realised you two weren't the right match for one another and like most single guys, he knows it is really hard to attract the girl he wants so he realises he could now be single for a long time.

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  • he didn't know what was important until he lost it. so, anyways... are you going to get back with him, now?

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    • No. I’m ignoring him. I don’t want to go through this again, and I don’t trust him anymore because of it.

  • "Don't it always seem to go
    That you don't know what you got till it's gone" 😊😂

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  • Because he is alone now, he messed up thinking he was so perfect he could get someone just like that, assuming he didn't, he is alone, hope this helps.

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    • You’re probably right. He is having a hard time replacing me. I’m not irreplaceable, but it’s going to be hard for him to find someone again that meets all his expectations.

    • Yeah, I know how he was feeling. For a month or so I was in his shoes wanting my ex back because she was amazing just like you, trust me, if he messed up, don't take him back unless you know he can be forgiven and it can be worked on, I could have been given a second chance and it could have worked out, but you. You need to sit down and think what you want. I hope I helped and I give out my snapchat when helping and answering and even asking, answer my question if it's something you can answer. I'm glad I could help this far. Sincerely Patrick.

  • Because he made the hardest decision. You or him.. he didn't want to choose himself but it is what he felt best for him.

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  • Just because he knew it was best to move on didn’t mean it was easy

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  • If you've been together for some time. Then it will be tough for hin too because you've been together for a while. And he knows he's going to break your heart. That's never fun.

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  • Ah well deep down inside you two weren't compatiable with his life goals and its a hard truth to bear.

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  • possible a lie. :/ regret maybe. He loved you. answer mine?

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  • Sometimes you don't realize how special a person was until they're gone... I did the same mistake before and regret it.

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  • Because perhaps he really cared about you. I've broken up with girls and it hurt me very deeply because i didn't want to. It was whats best for them

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  • Having the thought to leave someone you love/loved is hard on any level. It doesn't matter who did what, if it was true then yeah... it'll hurt

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  • Because not wanting the relationship at that moment doesn't mean you're over the person. Just that you think you need to start getting over them.

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  • It takes quite a lot for a male to dump somebody and they will try everything probably to keep in the relationship, however in most cases the emotions the male has felt through the break up sequence is mainly the guilt, sadness and withdrawal that they will have symptoms of. It is normal though that the female hasn't actually done anything wrong and that someone else may have influenced his thoughts, got into his head and it can lead to the male thinking of the negatives of being in any relationship.

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  • More from Guys
    11

What Girls Said 10

  • Just because he broke up with you, it doesn't mean he doesn't care about you... Despite love, things just don't work out sometimes and you may find yourself in a position where you have to leave someone you love... It's flattering actually

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  • He could still love you but realize that he loves you more like a friend than a lover

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    • He doesn’t get to be my friend anymore. He should have thought about that before he crossed that line.

  • Because breaking up sucks? My first time breaking up with someone was tough on me too.

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  • Because he did care about you, so hurting you like that must have hurt him too

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  • Talk it out.
    He might need to talk to u.

    Hope the best for u both

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    • There’s really nothing left to say. He wanted it like this, and now he has to live with it. I do hope the best for him though too, and I hope he learns from this. Take care.

    • I completely understand it's just I don't know.
      Maybe the best thing to do is to not communicate with him for a while because he's probably going to be pulling the guilt trip and all that b******* for you and that's not fair to you and your heart
      Good luck

  • Because he probably loved you, and had a valid explanation for breaking up with you

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    • No he said he did it irrationally, and I didn’t do anything wrong. The break up came out of nowhere.. I literally woke up to a “we need to talk text.”

  • I guess it's not your business anymore. Move on, his loss.

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  • Yeah doesn't matter who break up with who going to be hard on both of u

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  • because its hard to say goodbye to someone.

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  • Maybe he didn't really want to have to do it (?)

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