Found video of my partner and his ex. don't know what to do!

I was trying to upload a sexy video for my man of us onto his USB as a surprise so he could watch it on his PS3. at the bottom of the videos section there were 2 videos called "Me" and "me2". I clicked in them thinking it might be something funny and it was actually a video of him and his ex girlfriend. I clicked off it quickly but it was her giving him oral while he was telling her how much he loved her. now his ex is a really pretty girl with a really good figure. her figure is better than mine. I know she hurt him but I think he hurt her back (apparently she cheated, he found out and left her). I was really upset at this point I couldn't believe what it was. the second was her sitting on him, once again I clicked off it straight away. he was at work at this point. I panicked and I deleted them. don't know whether that was the right thing or not. I was so upset! this is only 2 days ago. haven't really been able to eat much since. although the video said in the info that it was about 2 years old. he uses that memory stick every day and listens to music on it. and I can't remember seeing those videos on there before, so I think he may have taken them off his phone and put them on that memory stick. he doesn't like talking about anything at all to do with past relationships. he told me to just get rid of anything of hers that I find. we had the same problem a while ago when he things were everywhere even though they had apparently been split for about 6 months to a year.

when he got home. I had had a little drink to calm myself before hand so that I didn't go psycho and burst out in tears, I said "by the way, I was trying to put our videos on your usb and I found 2 videos of you and your ex doing -everything- on there. I don't know why you would keep them, I don't know if I should have deleted them but I did and replaced them with ours. hope that's okay with you". and since then, he's just been defensive, isn't really acting like he cares. he said that he didn't even know they were there. you couldn't access the vids directly on the ps3 but you could see them there and they were the first vids to come up, you could only view them on a pc or his mobile I think since his phone card was in there. for the rest of the evening he just seemed annoyed at the fact I was being funny with him because I had seen the videos! even when I tried to be nice and asked if I could have a cuddle, he said "yeah if you want" but it was more like me attempting to cuddle up to a brick wall, he just turned himself away from me and would even put his arm around me.

i spoke to him about it last night about it and asked why he was acting the way he was. and he just started raising his voice saying HOW DO YOU WANT ME TO ACT. I said I don't know, but if we swapped positions I would do everything I can to make you feel better. and he is just being very off with me and I can't understand it!

i don't know what is going on with him or what to do. its really hurting me! can anyone help me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It amazes me how guys act like they are three years old.

    The shorthand of my answer:

    - If this guy can't grow a pair and realize that he's treating you like a prick, even though he was in the wrong, then he should lose you. You don't need to put up with this behavior and furthermore, you are subjecting yourself to worse by pampering his ego with treating him like a king when you already spoke to him about this bullsh*t once before.

    If I were in your shoes, I would have altered what you said by adding: ".. Ohhh by the way.. when I added those pictures it prompted me that your sh*t is waiting in the driveway. The options were: 'get your sh*t together' or 'get out'".. But I'm a smartass a bit too much.

    Sweets - get yourself a better man. This guy is a joke.

    ~ ArtistBBoy

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What Guys Said 4

  • he's still with you and not her. ya he should have erased them but for whatever reason they're still there. does he still talk to her as a friend? if he has nothing to do with her anymore it would be better for the both of you to just move past it. and please please please don't bring it up in a future argument! he's with you for a reason and that's what matters.

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  • he is out of line on this one and you are in the right. he shouldn't have these and he sounds like a bit of a lame

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  • He sounds uninterested and withdrawn. Kind of like he isn't over his ex. Well, I am pretty sure he isn't over his ex. This is going to go two ways : You are going to end up being the rebound or he is going to fall madly in love with you in time. If you feel as though this relationship is causing you stress you don't need it. There are apprx 6 billon people in the world. You mean to tell me that he is the ONLY guy that can make you happy? Pfft. He doesn't realize what a good thing he has, so maybe you should show him by taking it away. "If you don't know what forever feels like, I'll show you what it feels like without it." This is a man with scars and they are going to be hard to heal, if they ever do. You are either going to have be paitent and wait out his feelings for her, or you are going to have to get rid of him and move on. If you stay, you are in for a bumpy ride.

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  • Theres a reason why he's with you, and not her. Remember that. Second of all, its the past. Maybe he could've given you a heads up, but maybe it slipped his mind. Maybe the best thing to do is, forgive, and forget?

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What Girls Said 3

  • well hon I think you need to sit down an have a real good think about things... ask yourself would you have kept a sex tape with your ex and u, knowing how you feel for your bf? would ever forget that sex tape had been made? and that your current boyfriend could have access to it? how much your boyfriend means to you and knowing him accidentally see could possibly end your relationship...would that tape be worth keeping?

    He needs to know he hurt you by what he did and you need to make sure he respects u, don't put up with his guilt tripping bullsh*t, if you love each other things will sort themselves out but you need to make sure he treats you the way you deserve to be treated, as I can already tell you treat him much better then he deserves right now.

    Good luck

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  • I think he is just pissy he got caught with something like that, guys get defensive when they feel backed into a corner, he doesn't know what to do so bluntly say something like," look, your the one that got caught with this, not me, I don't deserve this and unless you have something to hide you need to stop." if he continues to be an ass tell him he doesn't deserve you and leave, don't break up, just go to a friends for a couple days to let him blow off steam and think things through, don't text or call him, let him come to you, and if he doesn't come back with a big apology and better attitude dump his ass, in that case, he is most likely hiding something

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  • Hopefully through time both of you will forget about that video and he'll start treating you better and things will go back to normal. good luck

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