I guess a bit of background helps. My ex and I both work for the same company at different locations and we had known of each other for 2 years or so. She was engaged so I didn't think more of it. We met randomly in a bar in June and we got on great. I found out later that she was single but had no idea she had only been dumped by phone 3 weeks earlier. I'm 25 and she's 28 if that makes any odds. And yes I know what you're all screaming at me, REBOUND!
After a month of flirting I took her out and we went from there. I kept things relaxed not wanting to pressure her following her split. I no doubt came across as not wanting to make the first move so she pounced on me for our first kiss. We did loads of things together. I invited her to a mates wedding and I was invited to her Mum's wedding. We grew really close, loved each other and I had a great feeling about the whole relationship. I have called things before when they weren't right and don't fall in love easily.
Got to a few weeks ago and she started snapping at me for little things. Her ex was giving her grief and she had finally got him to leave her alone. I tried to be supportive but at the same time give her space to let her get things straight.
Last week she got in touch saying she needed some space to figure herself out and to study for a mock exam at work. I did just that and backed right off. Two days ago we met for a chat and I could tell from her face what was coming. She'd written a letter for me to read whilst I was there. The long and the short was that she felt I was holding back and was uncomfortable around her, as if I wasn't being myself. Also I hadn't kept her on her toes as I lacked fire or passion. I discussed this with her, agreed that I had been holding back and said I had been standing off so she had time to adjust, and that I'd not challenged her being snappy as I thought it was her dealing with her ex, not a cry for passion. I told her I have the qualities she thought I lacked and longed to attack her with kisses on the sofa, grab her in the shower but had held back. If she'd told me in a more casual way I would have upped the anti.
Obviously for it to escalate to breaking up makes it hard to just go on like nothing happened. We had a long chat and came to the conclusion that a couple of months doing our own thing might help. She has said she loves me and I mean the world to her which I believe, but she obviously feels I lacked a spark due to holding back.
She's been texting the last few nights that she misses me and loves me, which isn't really fair. She's since agreed to have some time and space and that I'll contact her to meet for a drink down the line.
I've probably missed lots but that's the overview. Biggest question, a way forward or lost opportunity?