Could my ex ever want me back?

we were together for 3 and a half years, he broke up with me 4 months ago,

we just start talking again maybe a month ago, hung out a few times.

but the entire time we've been broken up, he lost his job, didn't go to college this semester, doesn't go out anymore AT ALL, doesn't see anyone, not his friends, let alone even other girls, I'm about the only person who has recently made contact with him.

so far he hasn't really shown any signs of wanting me back, he treats me normal, like when we were together (minus kissing, touching, sex and that stuff).

but I KNOW for a fact that he has not moved on to any girls at all.

he broke up with me becuase he said he "doesn't love me like he used to"

i still love, miss, and want him back terribly.

could he still have feelings for me?

(oh and I don't think his anti social-ness was because of the break up)


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Most Helpful Girl

  • He sounds like he has a lot going on with him. Honestly, it sounds like he's depressed. And if that's the case, the last thing you should do is put more pressure on him to sort out his feelings for you.

    He'll be no good to you anyway until he gets his life back in order.

    For now it sounds like he needs a friend. Be that for him and try not to push an agenda with him about getting back together. He's the one who broke up with you, let him figure out what he wants or else you're just going to be setting yourself up for rejection and more hurt.

    It IS possible that he still has feelings for you, but it sounds like he's disconnecting from his life. (i.e. school, friends, etc..) Until he makes a move to reconnect with those things, I'm going to suggest you putting the breaks on reconciliation talk.

    If you want to stick this out, you should also become more educated on dealing with people who suffer from depression. You will find that his lack of romantic interest is consistent with depression. The fact that he said he doesn't love you like he used to, can also be a sign that he had some sort of disconnection from your relationship in addition to all the other things that he's disassociated with.

    I wouldn't enter or try to enter a romantic relationship with him right now. I think you'll be doing the both of you more harm than good. Sorry to be so blunt.

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    • Oh no not blunt at all, very true and correct. and yes he may be suffering from depression, his mother has it, but even from all the negative I said, his attitude is a lot better though. And yes I've been going back a forth on whether to be his friend, beause I know he needs one, but it hurts me when we hangout becuase I want us back together. plus I'm always the one asking him to hangout or do something, I wish he would ask me. I don't know why he doesn't we have great times together.THANK YOU=)!

    • He probably doesn't ask you because, like you said, you always initiate the contact. Honestly, I just don't think he's where you are. The only way to find out is to ask him. Be prepared however to get either an "I don't know" or a reiteration of his initial sentiment that he doesn't love you like he used to. If he truly is in a depressed state, he's probably not capable of discerning how he feels. You may just need to walk away until he figures all this out on his own. Sorry.

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What Guys Said 4

  • sounds like me but she broke up with me, but maybe he feels bad, and is scared of meeting someone else, you can't help it if you fall for someone. maybe he is waiting to get his head on straight. leave him be, and don't contact unless he says he wants you back. but saying that, I guess not everyone will say it directly that they want you back. time is a great healer

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  • Where do you think his anti-socialness comes from? Of course he could want you back. You never know what could happen. Maybe he already does...

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  • Give him sum h3ad...that outta do the trick!

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  • Of course he still might want you back because by hanging out with you, he's showing that he still has feelings for you. I'm not sure why he broke up with you in the first place. Did you change at all from the first time you met him til now?

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What Girls Said 7

  • I would tell him you find it to hard to be his friend and cut yourself off. Easy said than done, but remember the chances you have of getting back together if your friends are very slim indeed.

    Right now he can have his cake and eat it, he has you in his life (he obviously thinks you are very important or he would have cut you off already) but at the same time if he wants to see other girls he can...he has it all. You say right now he isn't seeing girls but this may well happen then your in an arkward situation as a "friend" to support that. Its easier to walk away now. He doesn't need to make a choice wether he wants you in his life right now because your still here so he can take all the time he wants.

    If you cut yourself out of his life you can show him what he is really missing. He may come back he may not but either way its the best thing to do. A lot of men mistake being 'comfortable' with a girl as 'boredom' or they think that all of a sudden your only best friends and that spark has gone...reality is best friends marry each other and anyone who has been in a long term relationship and says sparks still fly when they see each other are kidding themselves. That is just LUST but love is so much more than that. Love is being their best friend, trust and support.

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  • It sounds like he is extremely depressed. You were his everything at one point and whether it was stress, something that happened in your relationship, or just problems in general with his life, he sounds like he's lost without you. He has no motivation to do anything and the only person he feels like he can go to and talk about things with are you. That's because he still does love you. And I believe over time he will find that love that you once shared for so long. Be patient, give him his time, and he will come around. :)

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  • Is he into more trouble - I mean kind of a depressive state?

    I'm sorry I don't think any of us can answer your question for sure. I would ask him, how his feelings are for u.

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  • maybe, ask him to know for sure

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  • I think he want you back. In that moment when you broke up with him he sad meybe something that he didn't wanted to tell you and now he fell sorry about that.

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  • i think he might , but is now going through a crissis

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  • he is going to act okay right now because he needs you...once he is back on his feet he is going to leave again...

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