How do you move on when you're still in love?

I need to know how to move on from a guy I am still seriously in love with. For two years, I have been with a guy whom made me belived he was trully in love with me, he even made me his fiance, and were planning a future togther. Then only to find out he was repeatedly cheating on me. I confronted him, he confessed, then broke up with me. He also moved to another country. Now Im left with everything that reminds me of us. He cut all the communications. He made messing and breaking me up so easy from his side. Im tired, broken, and in pain. I need to know how to get rid of all these emotions.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • He used and abused you, it's mental trauma, don't treat it like a bump in the head, treat it like serious shit. That's mental abuse and it's unhealthy for you. If you , God forbid, saw someone get shot or raped you wouldn't want those feelings to stay? You wouldn't love the person who did those things? You "fell in love" with lies and bullshit, pick yourself up, realize you are going through trauma and it's gonna be awhile before your mind heals again. Not all guys are him so don't hate me. Use your pain amd anger and make it into something positive on your life. He was a parasite who was draining you "the host" killing you without you even knowing, be HAPPY that leech is gone and far far away. You were tricked and that's not love you should fall for. Everthing he did and said was a lie and he was good at it, it's not your fault. This was to help you become stronger than ways you aren't aware to yet. Keep that head up. Wipe those tears. Pull up your britches and put on that bitch face so guys know not to take advantage of or fuck with your heart before they even think about it.

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    • Yea, I couldnt imagine the gravity of pain these situations have brought on me, and how it messed up my brain and my being. Too much emotions. But you are right, I need to see things clearly, to actively help and push myself to heal. Thanks for this.

    • No problem :)

  • Wow.. I'm going through the same thing. Just went through a breakup and found out a lot of stuff that should have been red flags. But I was thinking with my heart and not my head. Now I am left brokenhearted and she is with the guy she was fooling around with to start with. So I know how u feel. I wish I could give u a simple answer but there is not one. I sure now everything u see or every song u hear makes u tear up. Only way I know even tho it sounds crazy is to forgive him. Even if u can't contact him, forgive him in ur heart, because if u don't u are the one that it hurts.. He is not worried about how u feel about him. Or if u have forgiven him. So forgive him, forgive yourself and start going out to meet other guys. Dont just jump on the first one u find because u will think it will make u forget about him. I have tried that. Didn't work. Than I just hurt someone else. Try to think about something else when he come up in ur head. Pray. And let time heal u.. That is what I am doing. It's not easy but what else can I do? Hope I helped..

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    • Im sorry you went through something like this also. Yes. It is hard, but I do appreciate your advice. I hope you heal too.

    • Thanks u too..

Most Helpful Girls

  • First of all, I am so sorry for what happened to you. I can understand your horrible pain. Please, try to focus on yourself. Take care of yourself! Work out, take care of your body and mind, read a lot, socialise, learn something new and concentrate a lot on what you are learning. It will help you a lot, trust me.
    I need to tell you that your story opened my eyes a lot more. I am currently engaged and I need to pay more attention to my partner. If it's not inappropriate to ask, for personal reasons, how did you discover he was cheating on you? Was it obvious or he didn't show any sign?

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    • To be honest, it wasn't obvious at all. He really made me believe I was loved, and that we were honest with each other. And finding out that he was a cheater was uneventful. It happened when one day he left his phone, and a girl kept on messaging and calling. We were at that stage of the rel where we are comfortable at checking each other's phone. I thought it was a business related urgent thing. Anyway, thats how I found out. There wasn't just one girl, and the cheating has been going on apparently for more than a year (found out he even had a dating ap to meet these one night stands). So it was a shock actually. When I confronted him, he confessed. He said he loved me and he couldnt lose me and would make up for it. But that didn't happen, he broke up with me, and move to another country. He really emotionally destroyed me. I hope that isn't your case though. Every case is different. Not every man is a cheater they say. But right now, Im not the best person to justify that is true.

  • Please be glad youy didn't have kids or marry him. He's really not worth the feelings and I know you can't just make them disappear. It's easy to say don't be sad but harder to accomplish. You really need to put on your favorite outfit that makes you feel hot and go out. Don't ever forget that you were fine before the cheater, you'll be better after him. Be glad you didn't marry him like I did mine. I didn't know because I ignored so many red flags. I wish I would've left after my second child was born because that's the lady Good thing I got from the narcissist cheat.

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    • That is true. Im so sorry to hear this. Im glad you got out of it. I hope you have healed and your ok now.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 42

  • You just keep moving forward. Reconnect with friends and look to make new ones, be rough if you have to. Both you and they don't realize it but they'll help you a lot. You have to fill in any gaps he left and keep moving forward. Your friends will help you move on. Take this time to develop something you really like, for me it was the gym. It helps to focus on a new hobby/activity instead of lingering in what once was. I know how you feel, many of us have, you can do it.

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    • Yea, a friend of mine also suggested that going to the gym helps. Thanks for this

  • Therapy. This sucks, no two ways about it. You were decieved and betrayed by the one closest to you

    Nothing stings worse. I really do advise therapy or find someone who is willing to let you vent to them for a long time. You need to talk it through or some people do better just working through the thoughts on their own, but one way or another you will have to sort through the baggage as fast as possible

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  • Two years is long time, obsession can eat you up. Stay busy, travel, rely on your true friends and family. Get back on the saddle, but this time your smarter and quicker to recognize the signals. Notch that scar and wear it proudly. Now your wiser to the ways of the world. Congratulations!!

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  • Push yourself to get on dating app, and go out with other guys. Your mind will begin to focus on him less. I think it is ok if you talk about this relationship, even on 1st date. Or you could meetup. com if you want more platonic.

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  • Unfortunately, you are going to have to feel the feelings! As much as this sucks, and you don't want to hear it, you just have to get through it. You've probably heard the saying' time heals all'. Well, it's a true saying. I know it hurts like hell now, but believe me, the pain gets less with each passing day.

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  • Get rid of everything that reminds you of him, go out with your friends, do anything that keeps your mind off of him. Take one day where you just cry and eat ice cream and watch sappy movies and let it all out. Then go about your life. Eventually the feelings will go away.

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  • It's tough, really tough.
    First of all you have to get those gifts and attachments away which are the basic cause of your pain. It's difficult but DO IT.
    Secondly, FOLLOW YOUR PASSION. The must be something you really like. Go for it, deep DIVE INTO IT. Forget the whole world.
    And God is great. May he bless you a gentleman like the kind of lovely soul you are.

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  • It takes time for the heart to sort through all the emotions build up over the past few years. That feeling of security, connection, companionship. You've slowly over time let your your heart strings be overtaken without you're subconscious knowing too warn your heart. BUT truthfully that is what it means to be inlove. The loss of that. Is painful and unforgiving and every nerve in your body is crying out for its comfort zone. Or reason happiness for the past few years. A season of lose. or the death of a lover. Or in my case... The other half of my heart. The reason why my heart beats and keep to the rhythm of your lover's without missing a beat. unity.
    Now the hurt will pass when you are ready but after a season of mourning for that loss of companionship and Love.
    And the truth is. You'll find someone who is better and have a greater more rewarding relationship then you've ever could have imagined

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    • Thank you. But right now, I dont think I have enough life force in this lifetime to survive something like this again. Im ok not finding someone new, ever. I have friends, family, and pets. I think that would be enough for this lifetime. My hope and belief in the reality love is lost and tainted, and I dont know if I can undo that.

  • FOCUS ON YOURSELF! TRY TO MOVE ON! GET OUT THERE! START DOING NEW THINGS OR PICK UP THE OLD ONES! YOUR LIFE DOESN'T END IF ONE PERSON LEAVES IT! YOU MAKE YOUR OWN LIFE!

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  • Go for a complete makeover and new wardrobe and go out and meet new people. Don't waste a second or shed a tear on a liar and a cheater. Be thankful you didn't get pregnant

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  • I am also in the same situation...
    But still i think if you see that person dosen't love you, you should move on.. and remember everything happens for a reason.. so think you would get better than that.. you deserve better...

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  • Honestly the only thing I can tell you is that it takes time. The feelings will fade away and eventually disappear. It is hard now but it will get better

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  • U can't just get ride of them u have to slowly do it cut out Every thing that bro he memories and every time u remember him remember what he did

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  • well, i guess there’s no way to stop missing someone. you just have to miss that person until one day u don’t anymore

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  • Just get back out there.. all guys are not alike.. my x and I was married for 19 years.. separated 6 of those.. kept hoping she'd come to and want to work it out... never happened.. by the way she cheated.. not me

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    • Im sorry this has happened to you too. I hope you'll heal as well.

    • I'm healed.. just trying to find my someone to start over with

  • Distract yourself. Usually after heartbreaks I'll go for runs and talk to my friends about it and let them know exactly how I'm feeling.

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  • You have to work through them. There's no quick fix or easy solution. I'm sorry

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  • The person that said to start fucking other people is an idiot. Others had good info. Put everything away that reminds you of him. Stay positive, think positive. Get out and socialize even if you don't want to. Don't drink. Not even a sip, because it can depress you further. Exercise. Make this YOU time and focus on bettering yourself. Don't go hookup or jump into a relationship to fill that void. It's not healthy or self respecting. You'll be fine. Just remember there are billions of people that have gone through this. You'll be fine. Just make good choices in the meantime. Let your head do all the decision making for a bit and not the heart. Good luck, take care.

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  • Move on the only way you know how. Trust again. Love again. Seems cliché but get yourself out there, I know it's hard but that one guy did not hold the only key to your heart.

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  • I know how that is but I would say the best way is to find someone who treats you better and cares because I had the same thing pretty much happen to me.

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  • You must give it time and have yourself in a good enviroment

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  • Time girl. Time is the master healer for everything. I wouldn't say get rid of everything cause some stuff you could still use but definitely get rid of pictures of him and block him from social media so you wouldn't see any shit he post. Then just live life and sooner or later you will find someone to replace him. In fact look at some people you might already know and get along with. Tons of people get curb by people they liked cause they were taken, but don't try any sexual relations until your happy with your situation.

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  • vacation to forget about it

    a retreat would do the trick

    who knows you might just end up meeting mr. perfect there

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  • If it's possible, leave your home for an extended period of time. Stay somewhere else. Make your life harder intentionally to avoid dealing with the reminders until you are emotionally stable to do so. Spend time intentionally emptying yourself of all desire and thought until you are balanced. Then make a plan, knowing that these feelings will resurface, to confront the things that remind you of him and sterilize your life of this person. Don't day dream about it. Don't stay comfortable and sad. Muster up some grit and cauterize the wound and take the necessary actions to heal yourself. Focus on your diet, exercise, and sleep. Depression will ruin you if you don't rebalance your energy. Once that's working for you, facing those hardships will be easier.

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  • It's a way but a very demanding one. You have to truly focus on you. What makes you who you are. Once you get on that journey it will be a emotional one but it will be an rewarding one. Stick to it and you will find out that your more then him. You belong to something more powerful and attractive then him. Who you truly are is to much for him. It's a man out here that can handle what you have and more. But first focus on your self to better the chance of being emotionally controlled within. The one is waiting. But he is not searching. He is searching for himself, and his soul mate is apart of him so he will eventually find that part of him when time is right. Focus on you, only thing you can control and build to be better.

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  • If he was repeatedly cheating on you then he is not worth all these feelings you have. Make yourself #1, look for someone else and stay busy.

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  • You fool around with others.. and this will slowly but surely heal you. I'd be a great start for you.

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  • Forget and experimenting and ignoring thoughts about them and constant casual conversations before long they've vanished from your mind.

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  • Hey I haven a opinion babe bu my number is 07398061701 maybe can chat x

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    • Ew wtf? Not appropriate at all. Last thing she wants is talking to some creepy old guy calling her babe

  • Start to fuck other people that's how I did it at least

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    12

What Girls Said 13

  • OMG! Ms lya, I had a similar experience that I wrote a myTake about. I so feel your pain... really! Answer... sometimes you don't :( True Love! Is It Ever Attainable? ↗

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  • You have to try to at least appreciate that he broke up with you. You don't need him and you can do better. You have to reject the thoughts of him that come into your mind and try not to think about him, you have to delete his number and the message thread of his, and do what you love to take your mind off it

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  • I broke up with my kids dad while we still loved each other. We were together almost 8 years. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. But I needed to do it for my own sanity. I gave myself time and distance and I can say I’m not in love with him. I still have to communicate with him about our kids but I don’t love him anymore.

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  • tell urself how stupid it is to still be in love with a cheating fuckhead then treat urself to some garlic bread

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  • im in a similar situation as you are in and i totally understand. it hurts.. it really does. i cry sometimes when i go to bed. i feel stupid for falling in love, i hate myself, i wish i had no feelings so i dont have to go through all this. I dont even believe in love anymore. they said "time heals" i gues we can only believe in this...

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  • Block everything that has contact with him in any way and also cry. Cry as much as you need to. Also do some self-reflecting and writing all of your feelings down helps to let them go!

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  • No one can tell you how to move on. you have to do it for yourself

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  • Get rid of stuff that reminds you of him. An I say try seeing a therapist.

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  • I wish I knew the answer. I am going through the same thing. I'm sorry

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  • It's sad. try finding someone else. Know your worth

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  • I’m in a similar situation. I’ve been with the same man for 7 years proposed had 2 kids and everything. He’s been having urges to have sex with other people to the point where he wanted to cheat. He broke up with me last week and is now talking to an old co worker. It kills me because he’s doing right to my face and there’s nothing I can do about it. I want to fight him to take me back but I’m not going to beg for someone who doesn’t deserve my love. Save that love that you have for him, and save it for yourself. You are a worthy beautiful woman, I understand and know it’s hard but if it was truly meant to be he will come back.

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  • You don't

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    • Oh shush, yes you can, you gotta be strong. You can do it. Your stronger than you think

    • Show All
    • @ChrispyBoi So many assumptions off of so few words...

    • Well it's either A. or B. Not really a grey area to choose from

  • You don't. You just go with every day

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