Did I ruin everything?

My ex and I had a very intense, great relationship. Then we started fighting a lot mostly because we were having trouble communicating. I would say something, he would refuse to listen after a while, and then I would become more annoyed, so on and so on. Anyway, when we broke up, we kept in contact. For like the first two months after the relationship. When we talk about stupid stuff, things are great, until we start talking more deeply about the relationship, he becomes inpatient really quickly. Tells me he needs time to let go of the anger. He tells me that he has not changed anything, and not until he sees that I have moved on will he really be able to let himself see how he feels about the whole thing. Says that he feels that if were to get back together now, things might be great for a while, and then we would go back to the same old stuff. For now he says he just wants to forget about the relationship, but asks that we just see how things go. I am just wondering, if having talked to him, trying to let him know that I realize the mistakes I made, and wish that we could have a second chance to really make things work, did I ruin any chances we had of actually working things out? Especially if on some of our conversations, I acted a little crazy. I have decided to stop talking to him, and haven't in a couple of days, yet he does not talk to me either, our last encounter having ended on a slightly crazy spell on both our parts. Anyway, so did my trying to be nice, and let him know I realize I made mistakes, push him further away, to the point that he is never going to look to his mistakes so that we could maybe try to fix things up? Or is it simply his not wanting to try things what is going to keep us apart? For some reason I am just really haunted thinking that we will not be together, because I could not stop myself from talking to him, even though some times he would reach out to me.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Whatever you feel is right, go for it. If things don't work, then you can't say you didn't try.

    Usually things worth having are things worth working for.

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    • Why would he say that he wants to forget about me, but then goes and says that he cannot discard the idea that we could be together at another time? Why does he want to continue to know about me, but says he does not want to let himself reach out to me? Is he just waiting for me to beg for him? I do not understand him at all, he is really being a jerk.

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    • do you think maybe staying away from talking to him for a while might give him a chance to miss me, and really think about what he wants? even if he says he is happy he is out of the relationship because the fights are gone, but says he still misses me and cares for me.. just needs time

    • If he wants time, give him time.

What Girls Said 1

  • Ugh I'm having the exact same problem. Wish I could help but I don't know what to do either!

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    • I don't know how you are doing, but giving myself a chance to cry once in while, vent on here, and just ignore him completely, is really helping me out. Hope you are doing well.

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