Why did he break up with me for no reason?

We have been dating for almost 5 months everything was fine, met each other's kids and were at I love you etc. then one night I was working and couldn't have my normal nightly chat with him and then next thing you know I'm accused of cheating. Then he breaks up with me. I waited 2 weeks then reached out to him and he said that he isn't doing well, he's been binge drinking and he isn't ready to be in a relationship. Like wtf?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Oh yeah, it's over. He's annoyed by you but he can't show it because it would result in his grip on you to loosen. He has a potential warming up in the bull pen but he has to create this whole scenario in order to break free guilt free. He fucked up and allowed himself to become amused by the thought of another woman's charm. Sad thing is that other girl probably has no idea. Either way, he's a loser looking for pity points so that he can call upon you at his want. Also, did you give e him any reason to accuse you? Like do you hang out with guys or do you have like a guy best friend or roommate? A missed phone call usually isn't the opportunity a guy capitalizes on to make his move. It's games. Drop that dude and at the most maybe give him some goodbye sex like 2 or 3 more times. Make sure you count and never exceed the 3 sexual encounters after a breakup because then it's not a breakup, it's a fight. Good luck

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  • I dont want to enter of details about your chat, but somehow you trigger his suspicion that you are cheating him, maybe he was was thinking about that for a long time, that you are cheating him, and one wrong word could activate that suspicion. On the other hand he was maybe planning to break up with you but he didn't have reason, and you provide him a reason that night, that he needed to break up. But what is truth... you will know when you sit with him and have honest conversation.

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    • Sitting down with him isn't an option, he's done. He said something about how he can't be on social media and hasn't been on Instagram, like so weird.

    • Face to face is only way, because you can see his body reactions and face movement, on social media you can't. Or you can simply go on with your life and find some better guy.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Try thinking about the whole situation... Can you recall any incident that must have put him off? Do you really think he was in love with you? I would suggest you to have a really mature and calm talk with him especially because he is accusing you of cheating

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    • We were great, I swear it! It was perfect, we talked about marriage moving in together and having a baby together. Then just one night it ends. I know his ex wife screwed him up (she cheated on him then took his kids to another state) but when I talked to him yesterday there was no turning him around. He was set on it. Asked if I could give my daughter a kiss from him and I said absolutely not, we just want to forget about you, I told him I was going to block him on social media and he was like why, none of your other exes are, then he just said he was so sorry and dead silence and I hung up.

  • I'm trying to apply logic... So he said you're cheating. But you didn't. The first question would be why he said so. Maybe someone said something like that or maybe he saw something that made him jealous and imagined all that about you cheating.

    Then after that he's been drinking and says he can't be in a relationship. I agree. If he had imagined you cheated is because he's too insecure to trust you. He can be insecure because of bad past experiences or whatever.

    What is sure is that for a relationship to work both individuals must be confident enaugh. Insecurity ruins trust. If he's not ok maybe he needs to go to a therapy or at least a time to reflect. You can make him sure you didn't cheated and that you're there as a friend if he needs help or support.

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What Guys Said 31

  • Just putting things together. Combine "I'm accused of cheating" with "block him on social media and he was like why, none of your other exes are". Clearly he got information that one of your exes is with you. Whether that's bad information (sometimes Facebook lets you post an old photo on your timeline) or not in his opinion you were with your ex and cheated on him. Like you said his ex wife screwed him up so he is super sensitive.

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  • You dodged a bullet on that one! Consider yourself lucky. You don't want a guy who is that insecure about his relationships, nor one who drowns themselves in a bottle, especially when they created the issue in their own mind!

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  • well there was a reason. it doesn't sound like it was a good reason but he had a reason. sounds like the guy was highly irrational to come to a conclusion that you were cheating simply because you couldn't talk one night

    i'd say good riddance

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  • There is always a reason. The question is what it really is.

    You have started some. If you did or didn't doesn't really matter since it was his choice.

    Personal. I wouldn't even contact someone that did that to me. the other one had to contact me to get a second good luck with someone else.

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  • Love is not a choice is a feeling so theirs nothing more than it works or it doesn't so theirs no need to have an answer at the moment that you feel that it's not working breaking up should happen reasons are excuses and a way to make a breakup less painful let's say it like that

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  • Either sth about you struck him n upset him really bad, so, he did what he did, based on the information, i can say he loves you a lot, n you are delaying it for no reason, you shouldn't have leave him for 2 weeks you should immediately go to his place n sort things out, maybe even if you didn't do anything he heard a rumor n got all cracked up, come on dude, you are in a relationship not in a joke, if your partner is upset you should take it seriously.

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  • By any chance did u find out why he was single? He could have some serious insecurities like commitment issues or worries u deserve better.

    Honestly when it comes to break ups over a short period of time it could be anything. But the guy could just be dealing with a lot of shit right now

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  • Obviously he misunderstood something and need some explanation from you of what is the "cheating" he thought you have, or he need to be honest and that he doesn't want to be with you anymore. Not so surprising really.

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  • He's probably just going through a hard time in his life and not telling you about it incase u feel less of him the most u can do is be there for him when he needs u just drop him a wee message every now and then and try to get a convo out of him cause when he's ready to talk he will need someone to be there for him

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  • He sounds like he is very insecure. And he may have many trust issues. Much can be discussed if you know his past relationships. That can be a cause for the reason why he's being so insecure and untrusting

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  • See don't feel too bad but if it happened then it happened for the good. I mean it doesn't sound good at all and I bet you musnt be feeling good either but there must be a reason for sure. If you reached out to him and he did not give any good reason he isn't in the right place. And if you did not cheat but he still is accusing you of it... prove it to him that you did not and if it still doesn't work well dw you'll be fine. Let it go...

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  • If it was for no reason, you answered your own question.

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  • He is a very broken individual and has trust issues so when one thing goes wrong he thinks the worst. Mainly from past traume from the old relationships

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  • Sounds like he's got a lot of emotional baggage. If you still want to be with him, you'll need to work together to resolve these issues.

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  • Wtf well, im guessing he just jumped into a relationship without thinking?, i dont know, something tells me you probs need to think about it for a while before going bacck and ask him why

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  • Sounds like. He thought you cheated and lied about it. Obviously, he has worries about it. Probably not healthy

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  • Each others kids? Ya gotta be kidding. This thing was DOA.

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  • Time to throw a party and celebrate his taking himself away from you and the children. He's dangerous

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  • What's the closest thing that you have done to cheating during these months?

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  • If a guy says that that means they r the ones cheating hmu

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What Girls Said 16

  • If he just disappeared I guess he has a reason that is no better than his behavior. That must be really shocking though to be so close then have someone abruptly hangs. It’s probably best to find out before getting married... I know that can’t feel like mucha it’s consilation now.

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  • Definitely dodged a bullet. Imagine how he'd act if you'd married him and forgot to call him while you were with family or something. Crazy obsessive dudes tend to become the most violent when married. Especially if he tried to tell you he's binge drinking, definite manipulation tactic

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  • He has some things to sort out. I've experienced this before, sometimes people realize they're not in the right head space for a relationship after starting the relationship. This happened for the better, you dont want to be in a relationship with someone who isn't prepared to handle it.

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  • Sounds like his ex did a number on him and left him with some severe trust issues give him time to work out his internal conflictions

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  • Maybe HE cheated on you and doesn't want to hurt you by telling you the truth! I don't know I could be wrong, gave it some time and maybe talk to him when he's in a good mood

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  • I love how you're asking US for HIS reasons 😂 that'll never cease to amaze me on GaG

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  • Sounds like it was going to be a toxic relationship. However, if you really like this guy, I recommend that he gets therapy if he can.

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  • He's not interested or someone else has attention. Leave him alone for now. He'll be back. They always come back. Trust me.

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  • Maybe he did something and instead of coming clean found it easier to blame you

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  • He probably lost feelings for you and didn’t know how to break up with you.

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  • Better of without this creep

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    • Yeah better safe then sorry

    • Do you think he found someone else?

    • It shouldn't occupy you either he found some one or not... repeat after me... good redence

  • How long was he single before you?

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  • He's a nutcase.

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  • Sounds to me like he cheated.

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  • He's crazy period

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  • 5 months is really a very short time, especially when you've kids... at the same time, 2 weeks without contact for someone who cares is also a long time, haha!

    Before reading the other comments, my thought is that he may not have recovered from his past relationship yet and whatever trust issues he may have are at full force now... maybe he's too scared.
    To be honest, I don't think it was right of you to just suddenly not be available to chat with no further warning. People tend to make time for that kind of thing... many people would probably just be upset and let it slide, but in his case it may have triggered not so pleasant memories...

    Regardless, I would try to talk and discuss things face to face, find out what is really going on. You say you love him, you can at least be there for him as a friend, if nothing else?
    Of course I'm assuming he's a good person and worth the effort.

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