Can I get an honest answer...I will try to make this short. Dated a girl for about a year...everything was perfect..no fights and we were in love with each other. 3 months b4 she broke up she was distant with me...saw each other less...until she finally had the balls to tell me she was speaking with her ex (he called her) from her hometown and wanted to break-up with me. We been apart for about 3 months now...I tried spilling my heart out to her...but didn't overdue on contacting her. Anyway she told me they are moving back to her hometown...and she thinks he is going to propose to her.
I wish things weren't so well...but I fell for her and she is the love of my life...nothing was wrong with us and we never fought. She is perfect in every way...so I just wanna know why someone would do this. She was apart from him for 10 years...I can't stand being without her for one moment...and not in a clingy way--just mean...not in a relationship. I would do anything, and I would give my life up to be with her once more for just a moment...If they can stand being apart for so long, than how can this guy love her as much as me, and why would a girl want a guy who does not have feelings for her as much as someone else. I don't know who the guy is, but in truth...I know nobody will have such strong feelings for her as much as me...sorry but it's just true.
So my questions are...what are your opinions on why a girl would do this? Do you think things will work with her and her ex? (she did say they left on good terms, but if it was that easy for them to break-up...how would it be so easy for them to stay together?) I just want to be more informed on how women think, and what they want. She said she could picture us being madly in love but her heart was set on another. Do you think this is a phase of hers that might pass...or something more permanent? I just can't understand, how she knows who I am and what I would do for her, and nobody else can love her as much as me...would you ladies give that up? Could you be more happy settling with someone who loves you less? She may not believe it, but it's the dead truth...I am not stupid, and like I said they were apart for 10 years. I don't even think I will feel any different in 10 years...so I am just looking for some insight on the matter. Any answers to these questions? Seriously some in-depth advice will be much appreciated, as I don't really get good answers...and nobody seems too take the time to answer all the questions I ask...if someone can...much thanks!
Most Helpful Girl
This is totally conjecture as well as from my own experience. I think the ex might have been her first love, and somehow a person like that always becomes a permanent part of one's heart and memories. The other piece might be that they started communicating, were reminiscing about the past and it brought back old feelings and memories. Sometimes, we get drawn into the romanticism of memories of the past and sometimes it can be recaptured and sometimes it can't. I think she got caught up in both.
Now, this can happen to a girl or a guy. I know that you know within your heart and soul that she is the one for you. But what you need to remember is that she needs to reciprocate that as well. Ideally, women don't want to settle in love. We desire a man who will love us for who we are, mind, body, soul, flaws, the whole package. We desire a deep connection, where he is our best friend, is an extension of us, understands us, is supportive, loving etc. Unless she told you specifics about the past relationship, you really don't know how the bond was between them. You can only speak for your own relationship.
Nothing is etched in stone. Who's to say this their arrangement will even work out? I am not recommending that you wait around for her or for things to change. However, there is always a possibility. I think what you should attempt to do is consider what would make her the happiest. If indeed being with the ex is what makes her happy then isn't she entitled to that? You are entitled to it too. However, would you be happy if you married this girl only to find out she didn't love you the same way you love her? Isn't that living a lie? Wouldn't you want her to feel like you do, where there is NO question from either side and you know beyond a shadow of a doubt it's meant to be? I know I would.
I know none of what I said can ease your pain or shattered heart. I am just being candid as you requested. I wish you all the best.0