Is it stupid to break up with your boyfriend because you don’t feel love or special?

We just hit five months in our relationship. Lately I’ve been feeling way more sad than happy. I feel like about everyday I tell him why I’m unhappy about things he’s not doing that are lacking from attention, responses, appreciation, or care. I know he’s a good person and he does care for me. But I just never feel like he cares enough even if he tells me he does like me a lot and sees a future. I know he is slowly bettering his mistakes or what I need to feel care for.. but it’s very slow... and I just feel so sad... to the point I’m even starting to feel empty in an unhappy way...

Do i I break up or try?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sorry to break it to you, but you're the one with the idea that you're sad. You have a choice to let yourself be sad, or try to do something about it. I've been in the same position as you - lack of attention - and I've dealt with it for a really long time. However, I realized that with nagging and being sad about it, I let myself be less attractive to my boyfriend and therefore creating even more of a distance. What boyfriend would want a girlfriend who complains constantly about wanting attention?

    Be happy because he is trying his best to make you happy. You're impatient, while you should be loving him for the fact that he's trying so hard to meet your expectations. You have a boyfriend who cares about you. Isn't that what you want?

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    • Thank you. I needed this.

      Yeah I do feel bad to tell him those things too. I feel like it makes me feel unappreciated for the other things he has done for me. But I was just really sad about the lack of attention and not feeling as a priority... it’s just painful. Sighs. It started making me think maybe he’s happier with someone else who’s less complicated.

      But you’re right... he does care. It’s just hard for me to see it at times and so I get really down.

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    • Thank you for saving my relationship! :) He took me out today for a surprise at a really nice restaurant out of city. It probably felt the most normal, fun we had in a while. We both were really happy. I think what also helped was your advices. I realized it’s all about perspective. I had a shift of perspective and it helped me be more thankful, positive about my relationship. ❤️ I’ll see how this one goes :)

      I also appreciate your offer. I’ll def message you if I have any more concerns and questions ☺️ I hope you have a good day!

    • You’re welcome!! So happy to hear that you two are doing great now 😊 I hope that you’ll remember this when you feel these bad thoughts again. Have a great day as well! 😄

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 12

  • You're just bored. He doesn't give you the same jitters he did when you first met and so that lack of excitement has bored you to the point where you dont exactly know what you're feeling, all you know is that it isn't happiness and excitement.

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  • My question to you would be are you giving him all these things you want, or are you trying to get him to put all the work into the relationship to keep it going?

    I find most people when they feel they are done with a relationship will put the entire blame on the other person, bit they themselves are already mentally leaving the relationship. If this is the case just breakup with him, but I would incurage you to try to do one last exciting thing together with him for him to see if there is anything left in the relationship. Think of it as a sort of final test.

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  • It takes time and hard work to develop a good relationship. Try a little longer

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  • Wait, you want to breakup because after ONLY five short, short months he hasn't decided to devote his life to just you and your relationship?

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  • If you do not know the answer to that then you should probably move on. That's the point of dating

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  • True relationship are not easy

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  • Tryyyyy

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  • It's Your choice

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  • I don't know why that is a problem

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  • Are you taking the pill? It affects your moods.

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    • I am. I actually am starting to wonder that too... if its affecting me.

    • Talk to your doctor.

    • So now i wonder, did anything change?

  • Mood swings back and forth like a pendulum. If this is the low point of the pendulum, then the high point will be amazing.

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  • What are you doing to show him appreciation and love?

    I've gotten to the point where I'll only do certain things a few times. If she doesn't show me that she appreciates it, I stop doing it. If you want him to do those things for you, but you're not willing to match the effort, then you don't deserve it

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What Girls Said 9

  • What else have you got going on in your life? are you happy elsewhere?
    What specifically is it that you want from him?
    25-29 and a 5 month relationship, is it not serious enough for you? 5months is still meant to be the honeymoon phase.
    Has he got things going on on his side?
    If you're having to teach him how to love you, you may be wasting your time.
    I'd be interested to hear what you have to say.

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  • Hard to tell what's going on without more detail... either there could be something up with you, him, or both of you to get you guys into this predicament... also every relationship has a natural ebb and flow, things won't be amazing all the time, its the nature of relationships... if he is trying, then that's all you can expect. No one can ever be happy in their relationship all the time. Without more specific info, that's all the advice I can give.

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  • I'm not going to tell you what to do as that's totally up to you.
    But that's what I'll say. Most people lose the spark after the honeymoon phase. It's basically after it that you see whether that's real love or you were just infatuated. Do you still wanna give the same attention to that person or you just get used to them being beside you and you think you shouldn't try anymore because well.. they Won't leave right? They're used to being with you now.
    Sadly that's the mistake a lot of guys make even tho some of them don't do it intentionally.

    It all comes down to whether they admit it. And whether they change it.
    Cuz one or even both of you has to make the change. And if neither of you is ready to compromise or change for the other one the relationship is already doomed.

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    • Well it’s definitely not me. I care about my boyfriend a lot. But I just don’t feel it from him at times even though he says he do... or maybe he just show his love language differently... than mines... so I can’t feel it. Sigh. It does makes me feel sad reading this that it’s probably doom already lol. I guess I’ll ask him if he’s just used being besides me. I did asked him yesterday if he’s too comfy with me and no longer chasing. He said he’s def not there. So I don't know...

    • I know it must be hard but it's definitely time to walk away if you don't feel loved or appreciated anymore. He might not be doing it intentionally and that's most likely the case, but No one wants to be in a relationship where they feel stuck instead of happy (given that it's not something else that makes you unhappy but this relationship)

  • A great way to get a guy to work harder and put in more effort, is to do exactly that for him. You want more attention, responses, appreciation, and care? Give him that. Put in more effort and that will make him want to put in more effort as well.

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  • You dnt stay in a relationship just because you're thankful... You stay because you're happy, you feel loved there's that mutual feeling without even a word. It's not wrong to be honest with a person if you think you deserve someone or better than that then talk to him one and for all but never ever leave a person wonderin why cause it wouldn't be fair... There's no easy way to break someone else's heart but if you must then give him a better lesson to learn from... Just do things the right way and have courage

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  • That's kind of hard. Before you decide anything else, you need to ask yourself how much you really love him. How far are you willing to go to stay with him? If you think he's really worth it, tell him that you've been feeling less happy than usual lately, and see if you can get answers from him. Try to ease into the biggest point so he doesn't feel overwhelmed about lossing you. But if you think you can do better in a different relationship, tell him that you feel like you've lost the spark to give him a chance to save it. If it doesn't work out, just remember you did what is right for you and you'll find the love and care you deserve.

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  • It's not stupid I think you're just protecting who u are and want to be with someone who cares more

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  • I'm with someone who I can or can't have... coz I can't choose a woman for him.

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  • Maybe it's because the honeymoon phase ended.

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