Why won't my ex say he doesn't want me to talk to him anymore?

So my ex-boyfriend and I had a pretty bad fight for being how early our relationship had been in, though it was over something stupid. He was basically going through an issue and wouldn't tell me what it was (ended up being something there was NO reason he couldn't tell me - he was pulling away from me cause supposedly an ex-gf was harassing him and calling him all kinds of names), said it was too personal and I lashed out at him because I thought something else was going on, and said some hurtful things even though I didn't mean them. I apologized to him and told him how sincerely sorry I was. He said there was nothing I could say to make things right. I told him they were just words. He said that even when we're mad we reveal our true emotions at the time. Which I don't agree with. So obviously we're not together anymore. I told him to tell me that he didn't want me to contact him anymore and I won't. There was silence on his end, and I said, "what?" He goes, "I don't know". So I told him that either he is so mad/upset that he doesn't want me to contact him again or he still feels something there. So finally I told him that I won't contact him again and if he wants to talk to me then he can contact me. He goes, "If I want to talk to you, I'll text you". I don't understand why it's so hard for him to say he doesn't want me to talk to him. When my ex before him didn't want to talk to me anymore he told me to delete his number cause he had deleted mine. What gives? Is he thinking that he might get over it in time and doesn't want to say he doesn't want me to talk to him in case he does?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Some people have trouble telling others their problems, whether they know you 10 weeks or 10 years. Some people think they can solve all of their own problems when they can't, and so they keep everything to themselves and work it out on their own. I imagine he wouldn't tell you his problems because he couldn't find the right way to do so or just didn't want to concern you with it. If an ex-gf was harassing and verbally abusing him, then I can understand why he may have been reluctant to tell you what his issues were. It may have been embarrasing for him to tell you, and the relationship he had with the ex may have left some issues that he didn't know how to deal with and carried over into your relationship.

    In the case of contacting each other, he doesn't know what to do. He wants to speak to you, but I would imagine your lashing out on him has made him think twice about everything he says or does concerning you. If he was recieving abuse from his ex-gf the last thing he would have wanted is you saying hurtful things. I wouldn't recommend further encouraging the idea of not speaking to him and leaving him to speak to you if he feels like it. If he is still dealing with issues, he needs someone to speak to, not someone pushing him away, which is probably why he hasn't dropped your relationship and moved on. Talk to him about it, explain that you want to help him get through it, no matter what it is.

    • He told me that he didn't want to put his problems on me. Which I didn't see it like at all. I told him I would want to know about his problems. I told him that I'm the type where I need to talk to people about them and he said he just tries to work it out on his own. He was ignoring me for about a day and a half after I lashed out at him. He was ignoring my calls/texts. Finally he calls me at 3am the other night and we talked for an hour about everything that happened.

    • It was obvious he was still upset/hurt/mad about what I said. But he had declared that he had wanted to space and able to handle the issue and I didn't give that to him apparently cause I thought something was going on. So I don't know if he plans on just giving himself space from me and the situation til he has whatever worked out. I asked him why he couldn't tell me he didn't want me to talk to him again? He said cause due to past experiences he told someone that it was over completely

    • and he regretted it. I also asked why he called me if he wasn't willing to accept my apology and/or forgive me. He said cause he felt bad that I was trying to talk to him and my messages were going unanswered. I think it's more than that. I personally think that he feels I deserve an explanation and cares enough to tell me, but he is obviously hurting over what I said.

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