Guys what could my ex be thinking?

long story short, we were together 3 1/2 yrs, he broke up with me 4 months ago, we had no contact at all, and we just started talking again a month ago, he contacted me first. now we've hungout a few times, and he treats me as if we were still together (minus kissing/touching ect) I get the feeling he still cares about me but just doesn't want to admit it, maybe? idk, what could be going on in his head?

i still love, miss and want him back terriblely


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Most Helpful Guy

  • First, you kept this short. Kudos to you for not writing a book! 2nd, I think we ourselves tend to overrthink things too much when in reality, the answer is obvious or simple. It souns like he cares, sort of. We see this stuff in the movies..."i like him/her, but I don't want to show it...". Truth is, if people want something, they go for it. If they don't, they bail. Sometimes people are in the middle. But don't make the mistake of thinking he really wants to be with you a ton but isnt' showing it. He'll pursue as hard as he wants to. Right now, sounds "luke warm"

    So, does he miss you? It seems he does a bit, but I get the feeling that though you are hanging out again, it's not as much or as intense as before? Be careful here..you're opening up a wound that didn't heal. Especially since you still are in love with him, this is dangerous ground. Don't let him play with you. Sometimes people want to have their cake and eat it too...still have you but still be single. Don't let him do that. Realize you have a ton of value, and you don't deserve to be treated that way. Also, to build value and to make him miss/want you more, I suggest being distant. YOu've hung out with him a bit...now back off a bit. It seems counterintuitive, but if you throw yourself at him again, the same thing will happen. Even if you want to jump into his arms and tell him how much you miss him, keep emotionally and physically just a bit out of reach. it takes strenght on your part.

    i would also reccomend doing some dating as well- with other people. You don't have to make out with someone in front of him, but again, you want to build value. If he knows you are always there for the taking, he'll just continue to play around. If he thinks you have "stuff going on"...friends, dating, etc...you will become more attractive in his eyes and he'll pursue you. The goal in any relationship is to have the other person want you more than you want them. it sounds like games, but that's how relationships work. Trust me, you pull back a bit...he'll come stronger. Melt in in his hands, he'll continue to be dodgy. And remember, you really do have a lot of great things to offer, if this guy can't see it or doesn't wholly appreciate you, let him go. There are others out there (I know it sounds cliche).

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    • Chris I've been reading your feedback of people's posts and if you could reach out to me personally that would be wonderful. I need advice and you seem to know your stuff, please message me when you get the chance.

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What Guys Said 1

  • well if you see am living with friends the same is here...

    my friend (boy) is deeply in love with a girl who is more than 1000+ km away now.( they loved each other at high school days) after he joined college here nearly for 5 months they have not contacted or called but he always used to think about her.

    i used to tell him to contact her but he says that if I called her she will be in trouble because there is no usage of mobile in whole campus and so he dint.

    like that peoples may have big problems in their life which may keep them away from their love even for more years but even at that time if he\she is thinking about her\him then its is true love.

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What Girls Said 1

  • that was very long time you guys together for 3 1/2 years. but do you know why he broke up with you

    And I think is because he find another girl after you guys broke up so you guys had no contact at all for 4 months and he broke up with the other girl and than come back to you and want you back so he start contact you first and treats you like you guys were still together. That what my ex did to me too.

    I know your feeling because at that time I have the same feeling as you still love miss and want him back. but everyone told me don't get back to him if he can did it than it will have second time so I just keep this on my mind and hang out with my friends keep trying to forget him I think you should do that too

    Just find another one

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