I can't get over my ex, it's killing me!

He was a jerk and he screwed the relationship. I was a loyal, faithful, devoted girlfriend to him. Yet, he didn't trust me because of my past. My past was tame, I only lost my virginity to him. I gave him NO REASON WHATSOEVER to make him think I'd cheat. Yet, since he didn't trust me around guys, I stopped talking to all my male friends. He had his female friends of course... but I stopped doing all the things that made him insecure.

None of this was enough and he was always complaining and making me feel bad about myself. He destroyed my self esteem. He constantly ogled other women who looked nothing like me, with big boobs especially, and when I asked him if he thought they were hotter he said yes. He also hung out with other girls behind my back to spite me.

I love him, I broke up with him months ago, but I still love him. I've told him I love him. The problem is, he expects me to be loving and show him how much I love him even though we're broken up. I've been meeting new people, among them guys. He knows about this because of things he's heard or because somehow he gets his friends to snoop on my Facebook page (I blocked him, so he can't see me). He says I don't really love him and that other guys are more important to me than he is, because I ignore him, and that I'm a liar and don't love him and that I'm not suffering, and he basically plays victim. He tells me everything I've done wrong, and I usually end up crying. There's no winning with him.

In his mind, he's right, and all I do is wrong. All I've done is worse than what he did. I tell him about the crap he put me through while we were together, but he tells me I should be over it now, and that whan matters is now and what I'm doing now with other guys.

I can't ignore him, I can't stop thinking about him, and I feel disgusting because I still remember the things he said about my body vs. other women. What can I do? I'm desperate! I care about him too much. He affects me too much.

Updates:
He's such a hypocrite, but he just won't admit it, he won't admit any wrongs... that kills me... I want him to admit he's wrong and that he's been a stupid jerk... but he won't...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • break ups suck the best thing you can possibly do is work on making yourself the most incredible girlfriend for the next guy but if he doesn't shape up show him that other guys will treat you better,i know you think he great but your feelings and needs come before his

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • you have oneitis. cut off all contact. don't call him, email him, talk to him, snoop on his facebook or twitter. continuing to do that will just prolong the pain. this is what it takes to get over it.

    find another guy. that's the way to get over him. until you find another guy worth dating just have sex with lots of random strangers. believe me it'll help.

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  • Ignore him, find someone better. Be happy you know you're better than he is and you'll find someone better. He'll go screw up more of his life until he grows up.

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What Girls Said 2

  • He sounds like a manipulative asshole. You really need to break off all contact with him. He didn't treat you right. I think the reason you're still feeling so attached is because you lost you virginity to him, but you need to move on for your own sanity.

    Can you start a hobby that you've always wanted to try? Like an art or photography class or something? Volunteer at a shelter or church? Get a part-time job? Make yourself REALLY REALLY busy. Also getting out there, and doing different things will help you meet new people. Plus you might meet some nice, good guys if you do something like volunteer or take a class.

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  • Exactly the same thing happened to me. You have to try and focus on the negatives. If he wasn't an asshole, it would've worked out. I don't contact my ex, no matter what. I don't want to get sucked into his crap again. Just completely cut him out of your life.

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