Should you fight for "The One" no matter what?

Sometimes you just know that someone is the one for you and you can only see yourself with that person, even after being with many people and comparing. You feel like you would do anything to be with this person. Many say to move on but you know in your heart you'll never want another.

Should you fight for this person no matter how crazy or weak you might appear? What have you done in this situation? Has anyone ever succeeded in getting that person back?

I believe in soul mates and "the one" but I also believe that loving someone also is a matter of luck and being in the right place at the right time. In that case, you can fall in love with many people, but sometimes there is just that one that no matter what you're doing in your life you want them with you and know they were put on this earth to be with you. This is of course to be concluded with the fact that you've had a relationship with them and they've fallen in love with you too at some point, not a stranger!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well,

    First of all, I disagree with the concept of 'the one.' I think this is a fantastical notion created by hollywood and the media, which sells lots of movie tickets and romantic novels, but it doesn't necessarily reflect real life. My point is, I think its kinda crazy to think that there is only 1 person in the whole world that has the qualities and things you need and want from a romantic partner and that you connect with. If you can find one person that has all the things you are looking for, you can bet that there are others out there that have the same qualities, and who are perhaps an even better fit for you. I mean, there are literally billions of people on the planet, more than you could ever meet in your entire life. If it doesn't work out with this one, on to the next, with a better understanding of what you need and want.

    To answer your question, should you fight for them?

    I believe you should always go for what you want in life, I think its better to try and fail(hopefully not), then never know what could have happened because you were scared to try. However, I don't think you should resort to desperate actions when you lose someone who was really special to you. Believe me, I've tried this, and it had the effect of driving the person away for good. You see, this is what happens when you put pressure on a situation that is already uncomfortable for the both of you. Pressure is a killer. If you really want someone special back, you need to let them be for at least 3 weeks, no contact, and then try to reconcile. Make no effort to talk about the break up or the relationship, but be the happy, confident person your ex originally fell for. Its a normal human reaction to become desperate and try to get back what was lost, but this usually doesn't work when you are trying to get someone to re-think their decision to end it. In fact, becoming desperate and clingy just re-enforces the other person's decision to leave you/break up, because you have lost a lot of confidence in yourself, and that's just not attractive.

    Hope this made some sense,

    Good luck!

    • I would have to agree with you on most of this. I wasn't saying to result to desperate actions, but to be upfront and put down your guard to be with that person. Not threaten them into liking you again. Some say that if you already felt that way for someone it's possible to feel that way again and I believe that people can change and fix things about themselves to make things work.

    • Thats true, the feelings you shared don't just go away. But there is definitely an art to building attraction, and getting an ex back. You have to let them know you are secure by showing them that you are happy and fine being yourself, without them. This sounds kinda counter-intuitive because it is, It was to me when I first learned about it. You think, doesn't showing how much it hurts you to be broken up show how much you care? Perhaps, but its not attractive. Attractive people are secure people,

    • and only by showing this confidence in yourself, regardless of your circumstances with them, can you ever be attractive to your ex again. However, the best time to try and reconcile is within a month of the break up, because this is point at which both people's emotions are still on high. Sure, you can hook back up with old flames after a long time has past, but the chances are a quite a bit lower.

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • the only thing I say here is this trust your instincts if you feel the person is worth it go for it then..Just don't smother them and being too clingy show him that your the person he would want to spend his life with be calm and have composure in everything that you do so he can see that your worth the catch..sometime this happens on both sexes when someone who values them is already being taken or has moved on they start to value them more which should be not in your case..make effort in getting the guy appreciate you but also give them time in missing short don't make yourself too available


What Girls Said 1

  • As I am currently kind of in this situation, I say fight for that person until it stops making you happy. Sometimes you can fight forever and just not succeed because the timing isn't right. But if that person really is the person you're supposed to end up with you'll find your way back. It might happen coincidentally or you might make it happen. In the end it's really about being happy, so you just have to do what makes you happy.


Recommended myTakes