4 years and he dumped me over the phone?

About 3 months ago my boyfriend of 4 years had broken up with me over the phone. What I thought was a perfect relationship apparently was not as he had began to distance himself for 2 months prior to the break up. He claimed he was dealing with stuff at home and was too busy at work but later i realized those were all excuses. I felt him distance from me and I got no straight answers as to why. When he called him to confront him he admitted he lied to me when he said he missed me and wasn't sure if he was happy with me and proceeded to be an asshole over the phone. a week prior to our break up he even asked for a break, which i gave him, and after a day of the "break" he called back to tell me he missed me, and loved me and he the break was over.

I guess im just confused because for all 4 years of relationship , even prior to us breaking up was us talking about marriage and our future. I feel like he either met someone new or someone (maybe a family member) put something in his head. I just can't fathom how a guy who has been with you for four years thinks a break up over the phone is the best thing and ghosting me for 2 months prior with barely a text a day is appropriate.

i've heard from people that he has gone around telling them that we broke up over the phone because i refused to see him and he had no choice, however that was a lie because i would text him everyday begging to see him and talk to him and he refused

I am trying to give myself closure now but I can't fathom how the man i loved and knew for four years just flipped a switch in a matter of days after seeing him. he told his best friend he regreted breaking up with me over the phone the way he did but he never reached out to apologize or give me the closure that I need

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He sounds like a bit of a coward given the rest, but I wouldn't break up in person. Too messy, to much risk of violence. Women are crazy these day, may always have been... I'm too young to say. Still, he should have been clean and quick rather than dragging it out, but he probably didn't want to hurt you. However, sometimes cold and decisive is best. That said, there are no perfect breakups and done is done. Get over it and move on. There are far worse ways to lose a love (found mine under her sister's baby daddy after I came home from overtime to buy her a house when I proposed). Life sucks, romance sucks, taxes sucks and it doesn't stop. Suck it up and carry on.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • My boyfriend of two years ghosted me for a month and then I asked him what was up and he broke up with me over Snapchat. I feel your pain girl 💔

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What Guys Said 7

  • Welcome to the modern world. People break-up like it means nothing these days. One day in a realtionship, next day it is all over. You just have to move on.

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  • That's 2018 for you, people have lost all sense of manners.

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  • cause you drained him and sucked him dry. he wasn't happy you might of but not him

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    • i drained him? How are you sure of the details to our relationship that would point to that conclusion?

    • you said it he wasn't happy.

    • you werent there fir him and you were prob more work and selfish resulting in more un happiness dont take it personal that's prob 5he reason

  • You won’t get closure. Move on

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  • Yea that's cowardly and fucked up.

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  • what thats bad

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  • Are you more upset over how he broke up, or the fact that it's over?

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    • how he did it.

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    • to me it represents a lack of respect. after 4 years and seeing eachother a few times a week I think it was a really cowardly thing to do it over the phone :/

    • He still would have broken it off, regardless of if done over the phone, or in person. it still would have been broken off. i think you're more upset that it's over, than how he did it

What Girls Said 1

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