Should you still be friends with an ex IRL or on social media, if things ended on a good/okay note?

Me and my girlfriend broke up a couple months ago. She was leaving to go to grad school and wasn't up for long distance. But, she wasn't up for me moving with her either. She said she wasn't ready for the next stage of our relationship and whether or not she even wanted to get married later. So we ended the year long relationship and parted ways. She's kind of apart of my friend group, a few of her friends are also my friends. But, I'm torn if I should remain friends with her on social media or IRL as she started fooling around with her best friend that's a guy. Which she previously stated while we were dating, she had no feelings for etc. Granted, we are no longer dating so she's free to talk to who ever she wants. However this kind of hits close to home in a sense. Just sure if I should cut her completely off or not.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don’t see any harm in it. I’m still friends in real life with my first ex. It took ages to get to that point but we did eventually. If you want, you could take some time to remove her from social media until you feel back on your feet again.

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    • Yeah, sure, no harm in it.
      My girlfriend still has a couple pictures of her and her first boyfriend from three years ago, because apparently, "things ended on a good note, and he didn't do anything wrong".

      Should she not stop talking about her all the time and not remove at least one of those photos very soon, our relationship won't be ending on a "good note".

      Who would think that there's no harm in this?

    • Talking about him*, I meant.

    • @Asker thanks for MHO!

Most Helpful Guys

  • For your situation, I would say you should unfollow/unfriend if merely hiding them online is not an option. Because eventually she's going to post something online related to another guy and it's going to spike you in the heart. You need time for yourself to really detach from her emotionally. Maybe consider down the road if you want to her back in your life on some level, but right now it's unbeneficial for you.

    Honestly, she sounds like a decent enough girl. She was real with you about what she wanted and didn't lead you on, or go down the road towards a path you and her would have ended up being resentful towards eachother. Good on you for treating the situation respectfully, but it's not your responsibility to stick around, either virtually or physically. You can be cordial in person, but give yourself some space.

    I don't say this in a 'screw her" sort of way. But you legitimately do not owe her anything. Don't look at the actions you take from the perspective of what's proper. Just do what's best for you and do so respectfully.

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  • It’s your choice but the reason you are posting this question is because you likely still have feelings for her.

    Cutting someone off from social media can be insulting for many people. But after break ups (either good or bad) it’s for the better. Reason being is sooner or later someone is going to post something that a ex doesn’t want to see. There is going to come a day where you will see her posting and/or tagged with another guy and it’s going to sting.

    Unfriend her.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • If you’d be affected by seeing her in happy pictures which someone else then you should protect yourself from that pain but I always try to be friend-ly with exes.

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  • Cut her off completely and maybe make new friends that are not really her friends.

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What Guys Said 7

  • No. It is a burden on your nerves in the long run. She will think of you as a cry pillow. So, wise choice would be to just leave her.
    She probably makes fun of you behind you back so stop fooling yourself

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  • You should be friend even if thinks broke in very bad way. If you incapable of forgiving & be friend even with enemies you not an adult yet 🧔👍

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  • Why wouldn't you be?🤷🏻‍♂️ if you shared many great moments then a continued friendship isn't bad

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  • It's hard because we know a bit too much about each other.

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  • At ur age u should know what to do. Getting drunk doesn't help either.

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  • I am and my girlfriend doesn't mind, nor do I mind with her ex hanging out

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  • Simply no

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