Cheated on and obsessed with past, who do I believe her or "them"?

OK first off I'm 10 years older than my currently now ex again... we started dating when she was 17. After a couple months she got pregnant. During the summer she slept with a guy. She denied it for over a year until she thought I was cheating and she through it up in my face how good it was how big he was etc. when I first met her she admitted to liking the "bigger ones" (I'm avg). well since then we been together until the past couple weeks. during spring (2010) we fussed again and she broke up with me. next night she slept with another guy. again denied it. so few months pass and I was in an accident and she breaks up with me again claiming we were never together. She sleeps with two more guys over the next month one of them the same guy she cheated on me with the first time. So again month later we get back together. Admits that she slept with those 3 guys and wants to start clean. she says she slept with them because she was drinking but also I find out from her they were all "hung". so after a month her stories just don't add up so I'm like f*** it so I call the guys. they were nice said they never knew she was in relationship and all their stories match to a T. she slept with them was drinking but not drunk and she chased them for weeks after meeting them to the point they told her to quit messing with them. we are now broke up again because she says I can't forget the past and her mistakes. what I can't get over is who to believe and will she do it to me again. she promises me she learned her lesson but I'm still scared and unsure that she is still holding back the truth. I feel as if she only came back to me because it failed with the others. they all told me they didn't want relationships and told her but she slept with them anyway. these guys have no idea of one another, but yet stories match on details. my Girlfriend still says her story is true and to trust her and forget or past or she won't be with me which is why were are broke up now. input plz!

Updates:
Well I gave it another shot and this past November she kicked me to the curb again saying I was cheating on her because I put a <3 on a close friends Facebook. 3 days after I moved another guy was in her house staying with her. She cut all contact with me and I assume this guy was with her before we broke up.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • First I am very sorry that happened to you. Second I think you need to stay broken up with her. If all there stories match then they are telling the truth, and her past history more then says she will do it again. Did she tell you before she learned her lesson or she will change if so then it's just her way of getting you back. A cheater usually won't learn there lesson with the one they cheated with it will probably take her getting cheated on by someone else before she stops. The big thing too is that there is no way to actually forget the past and the thought of "is she cheating on me again or will she do it again" will always be there in the back of you;r mind. You deserve better then that please don't go back to her you gave her enough chances to show you she could change and she didn't change for you a bit.

    good luck and again I am so sorry.

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    • Her getting cheat on will do nothing. As he said she thought he cheated on her, and threw the fact of how much bigger the guy was that she cheated on him with was. She just tries to "one up," or get back at them.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Ok then she defiantly won't change and I think you deserve better.

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  • Okay, honestly, if she's cheated on you that many time like that, she is clearly not making an effort to change. There is a difference between messing up once and having the same continuence behavior . If she chased them after the sex, that means it wasn't just sex.

    You can forgive her. but forgiving doesn't mean you have to take her back. Even if you forgive her, you can keep yourself from getting hurt again. Honestly, I wouldn't even go there. Just forgive her, and leave her alone.

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  • she is obviously going to contiunue cheating because she knows she can do it and come running back to you and say that you are at fault... that you are obsessed on the past and her mistakes and how she is a changed person... I do believe people can change... but not this woman she knows you will keep taking her back... that's why she does it...

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  • Crazybear summed it up in a nutshell. She needs to stay gone and you shouldn't take her back. The old saying says "fool me once shame on me, fool me twice shame in you" well she has fooled you SEVERAL times and if you take her back then she's going to know that no matter how many times she cheats AND lies you're going to take her back because you love her. Sometimes love isn't enough! And in this case its not.

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  • get a lie detector test, & then you'll really know the truth.

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What Guys Said 2

  • she's like a poision stay way away form her its eveident she's a lier and a multiple cheater. you nor any man deserves that. because all the guys stories match and hers seem to fall apart .

    if she likes the bigger hung guys maybe you should loser her permantly to someone who'll use her (like a really bad jerk would or a a**hole would.

    find you a girl that really does appreciate you and what you can give her emotionally and sexually and the same towards you as well.

    please update soon is see that this post is 8 months old so let us know if you really dumped her or are you still with this unwholesome gal which will cheat on you again if you allow it to happen again.

    if it had happened just once I might say be lenent but 4 times total but with 3 guys. is a bit much. forgiveness is great but some women look at it as an easy out and think well he forgave me all those other times he'll forgive me again. these type women don't see it as the guy loving the girl they see it as a weakness and they do and will use it if they think they can get away with it.

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  • Really? You need input..? Drop this girl like a bad movie and move on. I would've dropped her after sleeping with one guy, and then trying to come back to me.

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    • leave her

    • She is not worth your time. She needs you only for sex. She wants to experience different physical encounter with different people in sex. To her you are no more enticing. Love is no where in the picture. You need a better partner that thinks love is ticker than sexual pleasure.

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