So yeah. Long story short, my ex entered college, whereas I am at my last year of college, my ex girlfriend broke up with me because of a reason she couldn't explain though I have a good idea why. I got a bit needy and insecure. Anyway, I did all the things that I wasn't supposed to do, like texting her, sending fb messages, calling her, sending a message to her parents. I finally stopped all that and respected her decision. She wanted to be friends after that.
I went to see her for last time, saying that I can't be friends with her because I still love her.
I de-friended her from facebook and didn't contact her for 3 weeks after that. She sent me a text message yesterday saying "1st of all, it is beyond ridiculous to cut someone off from your life. Though you cut me out, I will always be there as a friend if you really need one. Sorry that you had to go to such an extreme. Bye again"
Now I am confused. I sent her fb message today saying that I don't want to be friends, this is what a breakup is, if she is 100% sure about that she doesn't love me, I cut her off eventually.
I am really confused though. I mean it was her decision to break up with me even though I had feelings. I am simply respecting her decision and mine as well.
I am not going to contact my ex. I basically sent fb message because I thought it was sincere of me to do so. If she can't love me, too bad. I am not going to wait. Gotta move on. No point on bothering someone who won't love me again. I am basically moving on with my life, casually dating and everything. But I do realize that I still love her much. Can't help it though.
So what do you think? Should I just ignore my ex in future no matter what or at least have some courtesy to respond back?
Gotta be honest. I want her back if it's possible. I want to grow old with her. It's been 2 months since we broke up.
Most Helpful Guy
I think it's a complicated situation, it doesn't seem like she wants to be involved with you right now and she just wants to have you around as a friend. This could be potentially damaging for you, if you're always wanting more from the relationship. Did she say anything when you said that you don't want her as just a friend and if it's a break-up then she's out?
Maybe if you really think that you have changed as a person and are able to correct the mistakes you made in the past you should contact her again. Ask her to meet up with you and see if she'll explain why the break up happened in the first place. If she isn't willing to do this then maybe tell her why you think it happened. This might get her to open up about her feelings, after hearing you share. I think you need closure in order to effectively move on and not think about her anymore. You need to know there's not a chance for the future. And this is something that only talkin to her in person will do for you.
If you guys got along great prior to some of the difficulties that you described, then maybe you have a future together if things have changed with you. But really don't try and kid yourself and think they have, because she will quickly see if you are lying. I'm not trying to be mean, but I also don't think that you should settle. And if you're needs and wants don't match up now then it's not good news for the long term. You shouldn't settle or have to change who you are to make someone happy. That will only lead to a doomed relationship.
Random, but check that out and see if any applies to your relationship. Those are really good points in what determines the long-term value of a relationship. If you are looking for further help and advice, feel free to message me through here if you can. I'll check back here too though0