How do I break up with my boyfriend?

I’m doing this in person. I got dumped over text by 2 guys who were just complete assholes, but this boy I’m dating now (and have been for 7 months) is the best thing that ever happened to me, he’s sweet and funny and caring, but he also does things that make me feel upset.

I know it’s a joke, but he always calls me whore, bitch and stuff like that (he calls me babe to but besides the point)

He gets mad at me over the simplest things and makes me feel like complete shit for making a simple mistake (then again he has anger issues)

He ignores my texts lots and doesn’t really invite me to hangout unless I initiate it.

He treats me fine, I just don’t really know if I love him anymore/if this is going anywhere.

I know he loves me, I’m his first real girlfriend and first everything (like first kiss, first sex etc)

How can I let him down easy without him being hurt? I want to tell him in person when I see him next (I don’t know when that’ll be, he hasn’t decided to make plans)

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Be final, give him an explanation that is at least mostly true or he won't believe it (but dont be cruel). Id say that the dealbreaker was him not listening to your boundaries about what you were ok being called. Its honest, he will protest but there's really nothing for him to say other than to get defensive or apologize. Either way thats when its time to go unless you have stuff to sort out like pets etc.

    It gives him something to work on for his next relationship, and explains why it didn't work.

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  • You certainly have good reason to end it with him. The advice people have already given you on this thread is good. I'd say make it sound like you are breaking up because the relationship no longer works for you. Cite the reasons but as someone mentioned, don't make it a guilt-fest. Don't make it sound like he "owes you" for mistreating him, as he might spend a lot of effort to make it straight. I don't think you'd do that anyway as you just want it over with... LOL

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Damn, this does not sound like he treats you well if he is calling you bitch and other names and not inviting you anywhere. Plus, you don’t even know when you will see him. Sounds like this guy has mental problems. You should not be with him. I’m sorry that you had sex with him. Just tell him that you want to break up with him because of how he acts to you and that you know that you deserve better in life. Don’t worry about being gentle about it because I don’t think he would do the same for you. Good luck babe!

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  • I think you're a little deluded when you say he treats you fine because you have a big list of things that he does that are not fine at all. When you go to break up, you have to be firm. Tell him you're not interested in a relationship anymore, list your reasons clearly, and when he starts apologizing and promising he'll do better (because they always do), just continue to be firm. You've brought up that these things hurt you before and he didn't try to fix them or take your feelings into account. That shows that he doesn't respect you, along with all the name calling. He may think it's funny when he does it, but remember: something is only a joke if all parties are laughing. Of you're worried that his anger issues will be used against you, do it with a trusted friend nearby as an emergency support person. Make sure your friend won't get involved unless you signal her to.

    Here's a thing. When you're telling someone about a decision you've made, don't JADE: Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain. If you really feel it must end, just end it. Don't let it get talked in circles until you doubt your decision.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 14

  • Of course there is no method of breaking up that will prevent him from feeling hurt. Here are some tips for how to break up:

    Some Practical Advice For How To Break Up ↗

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  • It’s best to rip off his heart and put a band aid over. Tell him you do not like the way he is treating you and you are falling out of love. It’s trash the way he’s treating you, he would try to control his anger and be better if he’s making you feel this way.

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  • There is no real way to let someone down with the guarantee that they won't be hurt. My advice would be to tell him that he's just not the right person for you and that you want to call it off.
    Also don't fall for the 'I'll change' bullshit. You'll probably just end up in a relationship that brings you only misery. There are tons of other people out there. Go find the right person.

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  • Just tell him you want to break up and move on. There is no way to end it without hurting someone so rip the bandage.

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  • Yes it will hurt him en every way you break up..
    But i should tell him everything you wrote above...

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  • Go straight for the heart. Love or not, he has no respect for you. Tell him He's just not worthy.

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  • You have to just sit him down and tell him that's the best way to do it

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  • Well, there is no indirect way to say this. You'll just have to tell him directly.

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  • "Best thing thats ever happened to me"

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  • U jus say its over and go c another guy

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  • Leave him and come talk to me

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  • Lol, just leave his ass. Plenty of them out there.

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  • Well if he has anger issues then telling him on the phone will most likely make him more angry while in person it could go bad or ok, but either way if you dont want to be with him then tell him

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  • Best do it in a restaurant, in a crowded place, basically. He can make a scene but at least he won't hit you and if he does, you'll have people who witness that and he'll go to jail that way. Be on point. There's no easy way to go about it. Be direct!

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What Girls Said 8

  • You can't break up with anyone who cares about you without hurting them. If they weren't hurt, they didn't love you.

    You just need to be honest and keep it concise without making it a guilt-fest. Just tell him there are too many problems in the relationship and you don't see it ging anywhere. Instead of leading him on, you want to end it so you both can move on. Simple.

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  • Just tell him what you just said in the question its true and honest. But personally i perfer break ups over text or phones, never face to face i never understood why people like face to face break ups but thats just me.

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  • There is no easy way. Just be honest and truthful and don't prolong it further if you aren't feeling it anymore.

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  • Just tell him that you don't feel the same way anymore and that you don't think its gonna work

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  • What about going at him and tell him what you feel? Ask him to stop and communicate to make this work if you really love him

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  • Write down all the things he’s called you and when he asks you why hand him the paper

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  • There is no easy way

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  • Make a breakup/spell on him

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