I know it’s a joke, but he always calls me whore, bitch and stuff like that (he calls me babe to but besides the point)
He gets mad at me over the simplest things and makes me feel like complete shit for making a simple mistake (then again he has anger issues)
He ignores my texts lots and doesn’t really invite me to hangout unless I initiate it.
He treats me fine, I just don’t really know if I love him anymore/if this is going anywhere.
I know he loves me, I’m his first real girlfriend and first everything (like first kiss, first sex etc)
How can I let him down easy without him being hurt? I want to tell him in person when I see him next (I don’t know when that’ll be, he hasn’t decided to make plans)
Most Helpful Guys
Be final, give him an explanation that is at least mostly true or he won't believe it (but dont be cruel). Id say that the dealbreaker was him not listening to your boundaries about what you were ok being called. Its honest, he will protest but there's really nothing for him to say other than to get defensive or apologize. Either way thats when its time to go unless you have stuff to sort out like pets etc.
It gives him something to work on for his next relationship, and explains why it didn't work.1
You certainly have good reason to end it with him. The advice people have already given you on this thread is good. I'd say make it sound like you are breaking up because the relationship no longer works for you. Cite the reasons but as someone mentioned, don't make it a guilt-fest. Don't make it sound like he "owes you" for mistreating him, as he might spend a lot of effort to make it straight. I don't think you'd do that anyway as you just want it over with... LOL3
Most Helpful Girls
Damn, this does not sound like he treats you well if he is calling you bitch and other names and not inviting you anywhere. Plus, you don’t even know when you will see him. Sounds like this guy has mental problems. You should not be with him. I’m sorry that you had sex with him. Just tell him that you want to break up with him because of how he acts to you and that you know that you deserve better in life. Don’t worry about being gentle about it because I don’t think he would do the same for you. Good luck babe!2
I think you're a little deluded when you say he treats you fine because you have a big list of things that he does that are not fine at all. When you go to break up, you have to be firm. Tell him you're not interested in a relationship anymore, list your reasons clearly, and when he starts apologizing and promising he'll do better (because they always do), just continue to be firm. You've brought up that these things hurt you before and he didn't try to fix them or take your feelings into account. That shows that he doesn't respect you, along with all the name calling. He may think it's funny when he does it, but remember: something is only a joke if all parties are laughing. Of you're worried that his anger issues will be used against you, do it with a trusted friend nearby as an emergency support person. Make sure your friend won't get involved unless you signal her to.
Here's a thing. When you're telling someone about a decision you've made, don't JADE: Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain. If you really feel it must end, just end it. Don't let it get talked in circles until you doubt your decision.3