My boyfriend cheated on me 2 years ago and I just found out?

my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years solid. Broke up June 2009 and have been pretty much with each other since, so 6 years. 3 years ago I had come upon his password for cell phone acct and I went and looked at who he was texting. Come to find out he had been texting 16 diff girls I had no idea existed. He never talked about girl friends or anything. I honestly thought he didn't talk to girls. When I confronted him he denied it for days. And then got mad I was snooping. We fought about it for 2 years and my insecurities sky rocketed. If I got the chance to check his phone or computer when he wasn't around Id do so. Any ways, I looked at his facebook and a girl in his apt building he would never tell me he hung out with messaged him talking about wanting to date his friend and that he (my boyfriend at the time) had been the first person she had had sex with since her ex. I was outraged, he got home I confronted him and was wailing. He said nothing happened that he asked her to send the email because he knew I was snooping. So a week later I broke up with him that was June 2009 and now he says he wants to get back together and he was stupid. I found out that he did cheat on me with that girl. I called her and she said they mad out. I told him I knew and all he could say was "wow" and said he's not that person anymore. This was a month ago. Right now we aren't officially together. But he is trying to get back with me. But again looked at his email and he added some girl who is 18 years old at 6 am Sunday morning after just meeting her at his friends house and she was being very flirty and gave him her # saying I will hear from you tomorrow. I asked him about it. He denied adding her denied having her #. Then finally fessed to adding her. still denied having her #. Then finally admitted to having her # and texting her. He is almost 24 years ago and I am 22. This is all probably a huge waste of time trying to see if he has changed because obviously he hasn't. I just don't get why lie. If I ask you a direct Q and you think "how the F would she know to ask that" I know what's going on...

There have been at least 4 other girls he has been caught talking to sending pictures of each other back and forth. On a mini break up he actually started dating two one of whom was my old friend from high school I asked he stopped talking to 2 years previous.

Is it safe to say he may be a sociopath?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Not sure he's a sociopath, but he sure as hell lies to you a lot. Seems like he knows what he can get away with also. If he thinks (and knows for that matter) that he can lie and cheat with you then he's going to continue to do it. Why not have his cake and eat it too? One of my cardinal rules is to never go back. We break up with people for a reason and there are far too many people on the planet to worry about people that don't fully care about us. I think taking dude back would be a big mistake.

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    • And about the cheating thing two years ago, that's the only one you know about. Chances are you only caught that one thanks to perfect timing on your part and loose lips on the apt girl.

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What Guys Said 1

  • sometimes the truth hurts, if he keeps doing it odds are he won't stop.

    I've known many people in this situation boy and girl alike and they always end up getting hurt. I'm sorry to say it but you should really ask yourself this, you know him better than anyone else on this site but when it comes to reoccurrence and him talking to 16 different girls including you and cheating I'd say he has some problems.

    Sorry. I wish you good luck, :/

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What Girls Said 1

  • I don't know about being a sociopath, but he is an a**hole. He cheated on you multiple times, he's gonna do it again. It sounds like he doesn't value your relationship if he's gonna get with girls every time you go on a break. It's obvious that he is not a trustworthy person, and in the end you are only going to get hurt again. So I advise staying broken up, it sucks that you have to go through all his bulls**t.

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