I'm pregnant and he's married... I don't deserve how I'm being treated. What should I do?

I met this guy and I fell for him kind of fast. We dated for a month and a half and I introduced him to my son and he introduced me to his kids. He and his whatever were divorced when we got together so I saw no issue. But when we went public with our relationship she popped back up and eventually i got suspicious and broke up with him cause i felt they still had feelings for each other. They got back together like the next day, and she moved back in to his house. A few weeks later I find out I'm pregnant and i tell him, and after we talk he and his little trophy wife blocked me on social media. And I didn't hear anything from him for days, when i told him I didn't think I was gonna keep it. he offered to pay and i couldn't believe him. I told him to leave me alone and I didn't hear from him for weeks. So i reached out to his mom and told her i don't like the games that are being played. Then i text him and he had the nerve to make me out to be the bad guy. He let me know he's getting remarried and when the baby is born he is getting DNA done then he and his wife are going for joint custody. I never said I would keep the child from him. So I told him I'm going for child support (cause I was upset) then i messaged his "wife" so I could vent to her, of course she took his side saying stuff like she's gonna be by his side every step of the way and that she didn't appreciate how I announced my pregnancy on Facebook. I told her what i do about my child is my business not hers and that none of what me and the father of my child has anything to do with her. Told her she was delusional and that she and her "husband" deserve each other then I blocked her. He left me pregnant and he and that woman get to act like I'm the bad guy. I don't deserve this. They ignore me and don't ever check on me. I told him that I was in the hospital and they put me on a heart monitor, he didn't even ask me how I felt. I feel so alone.
Updates:
They talk about how much they are gonna love this child. But where does that leave me and my son? His wife said I needed to accept that I'm a single parent and that anything other than being there for the kid, isn't their responsibility. I hate this.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • First thing you have to decide on is whether you can manage a baby at this time in your life.
    The second thing is to realise you are nothing in this man's eyes, nor the baby you are carrying.
    You involved his wife in it, now she is going to be against you.
    You're a threat to both of them. Expect nothing, not help, nor sympathy.
    You are going to have to put yourself first. You, nothing and nobody else.
    Sit down and think, seek help and advice from women's organisations.
    Allow no one to judge you.
    We are all human, we all make mistakes. But women when mistakes happen can be left like you with carrying the consequence of such a mistake.
    Get real help. You'll get none here.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • First thing don't talk to the wife. You're a threat so you can't expect anything from her. Second, don't feel bad about child support. It's a right and it's for the child. Third, you don't need to communicate on social media, but you have to leave a way for him to communicate with you for the child support (mobile phone). Fourth, save any nasty texts and voicemails. Fifth, accept this is happening. Everyone has flaws, but in these times is when you see what someone really is. Be glad you two didn't get married. Sixth, compose yourself and let go of that past life. Seventh, think about how this all happened and reflect on it and try to focus on being a better person and raising your child.

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    • They just ignore me, no one sends me nasty texts. All they talk about is how we're gonna have to raise the child in two separate households. And their family is their only concern which includes this baby. But he won't go to appts with me or anything because I won't let his wife go. I won't share this experience with her, it's not her kid.

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    • No it's not. Because I still won't get my way here. Which makes me powerless. He acts like I want him and so he won't communicate with me. I hate this. My son is gonna have to watch their sibling have a family and not him. I'm gonna go through this pregnancy alone.

    • I guess you're going to have to learn the hard way then. Good luck with everything.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • This portends much greater Drama in the future. Stuff that neither you nor the child would want. Personally, I would put the child up for Adoption or have an abortion rather than bring it into a set of circumstances like that. The child's Father is not reliable, meaning you cannot Count on him paying child support on time or taking the kid for visits.

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  • Just have the baby and get his wife involved and get everything you can in Child support.

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  • No one asked you to have sex with that guy. Suffer now because you knew the consequences.

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    • Absolutely brilliant reply to a woman in distress. You and a few others here are the milk of human understanding and kindness.

  • Seriously? You want sympathy when you made the choice to lie down with this man without protection? then he chooses to go back to his wife, His reasons are irrelevant, Then you proceed to harass him and his wife.. No You made your choices, you decided to sleep with him without protection. Weather or not you keep the child is up to you, but at the end of the day you made your choices, Just because you are pregnant does not mean he owes you anything, and nor does it mean that his wife owes you anything. I suggest you look long and hard at the consequences of your actions, really think about your choices, and i suggest you grow up, own your mistakes and move on. I get it you're hormonal right now... but you can control it, because millions of women every day control it.

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  • Im gonna be as gentle about this as possible tho a lot i disagree with here such as involving the other woman. 2 words hun child support.

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What Girls Said 8

  • I'm sorry u have to go through this. Surely it's unfair. Since when was life ever fair anyway?
    You should really move on and don't expect anything from a person like him. Let karma handle the rest.
    Try to stay positive and think only of the child meanwhile. I hope you have friends and family that are supportive.

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  • Okay so what did you think was going to happened? He'd drop everything and his life to be with you because you're pregnant? How about you don't have unprotected sex with a man you barely know? I'm not giving you any sympathy because at your age you should be smart enough to use protection and under the consequences of when you don't.

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  • You went about this whole situation so wrong and now you want sympathy. I don't know how you would think after knowing someone for such a short time would mean introduce them to your kid. You then proceeded to have unprotected sex with a man you barely knew.
    Own what happened and be happy they don't want to be apart of your life, cause they sound like a train wreck. Seems more like if there wasn't a kid coming you would have dodged a bullet. Just have him give up his rights and then make better choices in the future

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    • I'm angry because they ignore me. They talk about how they are gonna love this child regardless but where does that leave me and my son?

    • It leaves you in the same spot you were before you made bad decisions with this dude. A single mother doing what she needs to live.
      Sorry for being blunt, but suck it up sweetie. Life isn't sunshine and rainbows. You do what you need to do for you and for your kids. Don't worry about what they are doing, thinking, acting talking or not doing.

  • Why’d you fuck this man with no protection?
    The two of them are assholes and that leaves you to be the dumbass

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  • @LailaniAloha
    What else were you expecting?
    Did you expect him to fall for you because of you jumping into bed with him, without having any concern about what kind of a person he is?
    An asshole is going to treat you like an asshole would.
    I hope your life gets better and things go on a better path for you, but these are the consequences of your actions. The act has been committed and now you dont get to cherry pick the consequences.

    I'm sorry if I sound harsh but I have know a lot of women who mafe the same choices and were as surprised as you are.
    And I have seen where things go on from there.
    There is nothing you can do in this case other than asking for child support.
    What you can do in the future is take better decisions because you are responsible for two lives now.
    Again I'm sorry if I'm sounding rude, but this situation is something I'm too familiar with.

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  • Where are your parents or friends to turn to for support?

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  • Sue his ass

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    • What would I sue for though?

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    • In our state, because weren't ever married he has to establish paternity before he can get rights to the kid though.

    • Lol this is a dumb answer for a dumb person. Keep it up!

  • Here's fact: You can file for child support and accept that he'll likely have joint custody of your child. Or you can up and do a runner, and forego child support. Make him work to find you to take you to court. Or as a last option, you can find and marry someone else who will claim your unborn child and make it that much harder for him to establish paternity. But I bet that if you just quiet down and disappear, he won't bother to seek you and your child out. He doesn't care. If he and this woman have sent you any abusive messages at all, make sure you document them. If you can prove that they're violent or a bad influence on your child you can definitely limit how exposed your child will be to them. Get yourself a good lawyer, be prepared for a fight, and don't do anything that can be used against you.

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