Do I send a card or not?! May ruin my attempt at no contact...

Ok split up with my girlfriend about a week ago, not very long ago I know but here's the thing... 1st she split up with me and even to the point she got drunk and said if I contact her or anything she would get an injunction out on me...WTF?!

My question is tho, I was very close to her daughter... And they live round the corner from me...

Xmas is fast approaching and see'ing as I'm trying to go no contact (I've always been the one to get us back together and it's her turn now I've done it too many times) is it a bad idea to send an Xmas card?! She wouldn't send me one so I'm kinda thinking you finished it, I'm moving on or trying to show you I am... This is just going to undo my hardwork...

Am I right in thinking that?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, do not send a Christmas card. Two people that are not together do not exchange Christmas cards, gifts or anything. I don't believe in ex's trying to even be friends though hopefully one day you will be friendly or cordial. Right now everything is too fresh and, worse, you two have a history of breaking up and getting back together, so let it go. Good luck!

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    • Thanks for the answer, your right I am going to leave it and yes we do have a history of breaking up and getting back together but that's how it is... no1 gets it and no1 ever will unless they are in it if that makes sense?! Your right tho she made her decision to end it so why should I bother, there's no point right?

    • This isn't about there being no point, it just isn't the thing to do. Whether you broke up or she broke up, you guys are not together. As far as people not getting what you are doing, I don't think it is about not getting it, but your friends and family are probably hopeful that you would want a more stable relationship. If I were her family, I would want a better life for her daughter. It is not healthy for a child to be exposed to this back and forth.

    • Whats more important... having a stable relationship with someone you COULD plob along with and get along with or having a turbulant relationship for a few years untill you both learn to grow up, communicate and be happy with the love of your life and someone you think is the ONE?! Regardless of whether there is a child in question?! I do agree totally with what you say but I'm more of a dad to her than there real dad, my dad was never really around and I've turned out fine along with my bro..

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • Don't, you will look persistant and annoying. Not getting a card will make her want to contact you more because you are showing you respect her wishes for no contact. :)

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  • don't do it

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What Guys Said 2

  • She won't be able to take legal action due to an innocent card, so don't worry about that.

    But she probably won't put said card up on the shelf if she's that upset with you, it may jusy get chucked away I'm afraid.

    I'd say send it, keep it short and nice, no big message or anythign, it shows you're thinking of them, but also that you're not "going on" about stuff...

    Good luck

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  • Don't do it buddy. You're just exposing yourself to more hurt.

    It sounds like she's ready to move on. Sending a card just puts your heart back in it because you'll be waiting for a response. What happens if she doesn't respond? its just gonna lead to more heartache. And even if she does respond back with a nice thank you all its gonna give you is false hope. Your gonna think she's changed her mind about you two but she hasn't. Its just the little game she's playing because she knows she can toy with you.

    As for the daughter, if she really means that much to you send her a toy or clothes. BUT ONLY TO HER DAUGHTER. And don't go expecting something in return. That just leads to more hurt.

    I would try to move on altogether and not send anything.

    Try hanging out with a new crowd.

    Its hard I know but expose yourself to new people and you'll see it'll be all good in the near future.

    Good Luck.

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    • The break up is fine, I'm not actually that bothered about it anymore...she pushed it too far but it's her daughter I care about. Although saying that she has still got the ?70 I gave her as half of her daughters presents anyway. Mind made up, I'm not sending anything I'm talking crap lol. She finished it and is never prepared to listen to my point of view or talk through our problems instead just have a fight about it and break up. She's not worth it. Thanks guys and girls.

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