My ex boyfriend of 2 1/2 years broke up with me because is was considering quitting my job to better care for my kids. He wouldn't let me move in with him because he wanted us to get a house that was "ours" not his or mine. We had discussed marriage and kids not even a month before we broke up. We never even had a major fight. We got along great. Now he is with a girl who doesn't have a job. He let her move in with him immediately. She doesn't have anything to do with her kids. Not to mention she is very ugly (not just my opinion). Why would he forget about all of his standards?
Why would my ex boyfriend date a girl who is everything he hates?
What Guys Said 2
That's rough! I'm sorry you are feeling left out in the cold. A couple of possible perspectives for you to consider. First, relationships rarely come down to who is "pretty" and who is "ugly". When I saw you write that, my impression is one of jealousy -- you are angry that he selected her over you (clearly) -- and you can't believe he finds her more attractive. Lose that. I doubt that factors in to his decision at all. For a guy who is looking for a serious long term commitment, looks are COMPLETELY SECONDARY. Which brings us to the next point -- after the intial excitement of any romance ebbs, you reach a plateau. You have to decide what you want and why -- and from what you wrote, I am guessing that your guy decided you were not what excited him or kept his interest. This is not uncommon -- a guy will build a long term relationship only when he feels there is a shared interest and that you excite him...if he is not saying "I wonder what she's doing now?" and "I can't wait to do XXXX with her" then you will have problems.
Now, you won't be happy all the time, and nothing is perfect, of course. But given what you wrote in your note, it is clear to me that, after a time, your boyfriend was losing interest and did not want to move in with you -- he wanted to disengage. He was losing that initial connection and eventually, there was simply nothing left for him. This new girl may or may not have the connection he needs (sounds like he is in the infatuation mode at the moment), but as a rebound, it serves to pique his interests and make him feel alive and excited again.
He did not forget about his standards. He wanted to live again, and felt he could not they way things were with you. Understanding this is key to (a) finding a new relationship or (b) trying to win him back.
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All the signs point to a rebound relationship. He left and is not thinking straight. He will come to his senses. Why didn't he want you to quit? is it because he would have to support you?0
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