Move on or give him time?

My boyfriend and I had been dating for eight months. Last Saturday he broke up with me saying the stress was too much and he just didn't want a relationship anymore. Well this past Friday I went to dinner with his family, and last night we went to the movies and back to his family’s house for dinner. I broke down and we started to talk about us. He said he just needed time to think and get his priorities in line. I asked him what the chances of us being together again were and he said it rounded to 100 percent. After talking we started kissing and one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. This isn’t the first time we have had sex but we haven’t been having it lately. He is leaving for Georgia tomorrow and he said to me as I was leaving that we would talk every day and we kissed and told each other we loved each other. Did I just complicate things even more? Clearly it was not a booty call because this is the first time it has happened. I feel like he is sending me really mixed signals and I don’t know if I should just give him time and not stress the situation more or just move on


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Is he leaving for a while? If that's the case, he might be trying to break off the relationship, but doesn't know how - he might be just as upset inside as you are.

    Long distance relationships rarely, rarely work out. And now since you've had sex, he's probably even more crammed into a corner because he feels obligated to stay with you.

    I haven't been able to make any long distance relationship work out (I live in the middle of the f***ing Pacific Ocean though, so it makes a little bit of sense... the distance is too big).

    As far as what you should do, ask him about it. Talk about it. If you feel like you need to move on, do so. Talking about your hidden feelings works out 100% of the time. Seriously.

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    • No he is just going to Georgia for ten days to visit his father.

    • Hm, that one's tough, so many things that it could be (guilt about a past infidelity, stress due to school/work performance, tough parents, and then there's the whole natural relationship falling-apart force).

      If he said he'll talk to you every day while he's gone, if you want the relationship to continue, and I cannot stress this enough: keep in contact with him.

      U shud look deep inside and ask yourself if this is really what *you* want. No relationship is worth it if it only causes heartache

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What Guys Said 4

  • Wow I'm going through the same exact thing but its coming from a guy point of view. My girlfriend has been acting the same way saying she needed space but she want to be with me. I'm confused. I think you should give him some time. If he really love you he will call you and keep in close contact.. (Could You answer my ?) I need a girls perspective

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  • Its crazy, but hey, love makes people crazy, he may think its romantic, he may think your insane, you know him better than any of us, just be prepared that he may be mad that you flew out there if that's what you decide on. After all, in love or not, you're both techniqually single right now.

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  • I understand that the whole "L" word thingy can make a gal kinda crazy ... but this is a time to listen to your head, not your heart. What you propose to do is what people in solid, LONG-TERM relationships do - not a couple that just broke up and one side is looking to "prove" how deeply they feel. I admire your enthusiasm, but this is the kind of move that would be great in a romantic-comedy sitcom or movie, but not too good in real life.

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  • If you're really willing to go there and show hit that you really love him, I would say go for it!

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What Girls Said 4

  • Well for one, you don't want to be with a guy that isn't sure he wants you. So no more begging and asking if you're going to be back together. It will make you look desperate and push him away farther. Secondly, you need to create a clear line between being together and being broken up. The guy told you that dating you was "too stressful," yet you continued to go out with him twice and have sex with him as if he's still your boyfriend. This basically means that he's getting all the perks of a relationship, but the freedom to hook up with other women. Believe me, he will use that freedom whether he tells you about it or not.

    Bottom line, if you want even a chance of him coming back to you on his own and still respecting you, you need to treat him like an ex boyfriend. You don't talk to him every day, no more "I love you's", no sex, no dates. He's not your boyfriend anymore. If he can have his cake and eat it too, he'll never commit to you again.

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  • Give him time

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  • just live it up to him and let him persue you and he moves on you will be just fine cus why would you wanna be with someone that doesn't want commitment anyway?

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  • well I don't know don't be so open to him give him space don't be all over him let him come show him how it would be without you you no cause if your always around each other its not ganna help

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