Saw my ex this X-mas and he cried! What to make of it?! HELP PLEASE

My ex and I broke up when I left for school which is really far away. We kept in touch a bit, but I don't know if I'll move back home or will stay there. So right before I came home for X-mas, he ended things and said we shouldn't hook up.

He wanted to meet me though, saying I was the most interesting person he has ever met. We met up, and I could see him struggle to justify breaking up with me. He seemed distant until I told him I still cared for him- he started to tear up, then I started to tear up as well. We held hands- and he kept stroking my hand and I could tell he wanted to kiss me. He said he couldn't do anything physical because it would confuse him psychologically. When it was clear that I was really upset... he said we should both go- he doesn't handle emotions well at all. I leaned over to kiss him in the car, and he pulled away- saying he can't because he will get confused and it will complicate things.

I said okay and said goodbye- it was very, very difficult for both of us. He said he wants to keep in touch in case something happens in the future...and that I'm the first ex he wants to keep in touch with.

Later that night at like 1am I get a text from him saying "Hey... I don't know if you are still awake but I really enjoyed seeing you tonight" - I don't know why he sent that since it was miserably painful and emotional for both of us.

What do I make of this? Do I go with the idea he wants to break up? Or should I try to hang out again since he cried and I know it all comes down to stupid distance... does he still care about me? If so, why doesn't he want to hang out with me while I'm home?


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What Guys Said 1

  • He definitely still cares about you. Definitely definitely. But from the sound of it, since you guys broke up, he might have actually started another relationship with someone. And it sounds like its tearing him apart, because he still has really strong feelings for you.

    He misses you terribly :( I've been in a situation like this before, it sucks like no other.

    • I asked him if he was dating someone... he says he's definitely not. He was single for two years before he met me... so I don't think he's dating anyone else. ? I'm confused

    • Well, it could also be the distance. He's sparing you and himself the pain of being apart.

      Long distance sucks, and he's stupid for not hanging out for you while you still have the time together. You want to enjoy the moments together, give each other happy memories to last and remember; but since he can't contain his sadness while you're away, he's protecting himself. He's being stupid. And he'll regret not doing anything with you. He's sparing himself pain, and unknowingly causing you pain.

    • Don't be afraid to be aggressive. He's confused because he's stuck between missing you and wanting to be with you. Comfort him by telling him that the moments you can spend together are small times of happiness which last forever in a sea of suffering. Ask him to give you a little bit of himself, just for the moment. Our entire lives are made up of these moments.

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