Does she really want him back or is it just because he doesn’t want her anymore?

I've got quite the situation here. This guy I am seeing is wonderful and told me he wanted a serious relationship with me. Things are/ were going great... That is before his ex found out he was dating again.

He had been single for nearly 10 months and she never wanted him then. She broke up with him and refused him when he wanted to get back together. She continued to refuse every advance until he finally gave up and moved on two months after they broke up.

Anyway, A week or so ago we officially started seeing each other. We have almost everything in common and are very compatible. He explained that he wanted a serious relationship and couldn’t wait to see where our relationship will go.

His ex all, of a sudden, decided to tell him that she was still in love with him and wanted him back. She's been trying every day since we started dating to convince him that they belonged together. She texts him constantly with guilt trips or get angry with him for moving on.

He assures me that it’s me he wants and he has no intention of going back to her. Although, I can see he is hurt and confused. Last night he confessed that it was extremely difficult for him to turn her away. He couldn't bear to see her break down in front of him. After all he did love her before.

I made it very clear that I'll be here as a friend which ever he chooses. He then told me that going back to her would only bring him heartache again in a few months. So the decision is made but he is still hurt. Why is she doing this to him?


Most Helpful Girl

  • i really do feel sorry for you. I don't think he will go back to her but it couldn't hurt to help to encourage him not to. Not to be jealous or anything like that but to do it for his sake. Love is very powerful and can blind people as to what is really happening that everyone else can see but them. Obviously this girl has some hang ups and issues... after rejecting him for 2 months then to hear nothing from her - then ONLY when he finds you she brings out the tears and guilt trips. PLEASE remind him of the "coincidence" of this timing and the she has ulterior motives. She is most likely insecure and can't handle the fact that he has found someone to replace her - not to replace her memory because that is impossibly especially since he loved her, but to replace her position as his girlfriend.

    What I'm trying to say is... you need to tell him to take a step back and think and look over things. She has hurt him in the past and is causing him pain once again - people you love cause you pain but never in a bad way... its only because they care. The best thing for you to do is talk to him - show him this message even if it makes him feel better and assures him that he is doing the right thing by not getting back with her. It is always nice to see someone else's point of view that is not involved in the situation.

    • I will definitely take this into account. Things have gotten considerably better but she just won't leave him alone. I really don't know what to do. He's pretty much gotten over it but it's starting to just be annoying.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I'd say take a break from things. Let him figure out what he wants before either you or his ex get hurt. He needs time to settle his feelings and emotions and it will save you heartbreak later down the road. Don't put yourself in the middle of his feelings because what he wants now, may not be what he wants down the road. Give him a couple weeks or months and see how he reacts. If he goes to his ex, be happy for him and thankful you found out sooner. If he comes to you, then it was meant to be. Like they say, if you truly love someone, you need to let them go and if they come back, it was meant to be.

    • Yea, I encouraged him to take a break but he refused BIG TIME. He says he's sure he will never go back to her. I am happy for him either way and do not intend to inflict my own desires on him.

  • Why don't you suck his penis & he will like you more?

    • So your answer is to appeal to his sexuality instead of his intellect or emotion. I find that cheap and frankly inappropriate. Perhaps, I should clarify I want a relationship not someone to use as a sex toy. Lol, thanks for playing. Move along.

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