Don't I deserve an explanation?

So my ex boyfriend moved away 7 months ago, and that's why we broke up. After he moved, we didn't talk all summer and then finally he apologized and wanted to be friends, so we became friends. I even found out that he was planning on moving back after he graduated to be with me. He said I was his "dream". So we talked everyday for a few months, then he just...stopped. Without any word or explanation, he just stopped talking to me.

It's been two months since we last spoke. I think about him every day and just keep wondering the same thing...why? Why did he give up? Why did he stop trying? Why am I not his dream anymore? I've accepted the fact that he's not coming back, and that's fine. But I still just want to know why.

Do you guys think I deserve an explanation? Should I try to ask him? Or should I forget about it? I feel like I won't have closure until I find out...but maybe that's best? I don't know. Opinions?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I say ask. If you don't think you'll be able to find closure without an explanation (and I don't blame you), what's the harm? He may choose not to respond and if that's the case there's not much else you can do. I will say though, regardless of his reasoning, don't get back with this guy. I mean one day he's telling you you're his "dream" and the next day he's gone. If he really cared as much as he claimed to he wouldn't have dropped you like he did. It all comes down to respect. What he did was disrespectful and you don't need that.

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    • I'm pretty sure he'll respond, it's just a matter of whether he tells me the truth or not. And I completely agree with you, that was disrespectful of him. Despite my efforts to stay strong, deep down I feel like I wasn't worth it to him. And that really hurts. :/ So if I could just get some closure, I can get over it and I won't have to hurt anymore.

      Thank you. :)

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • HELL YES! You need closure. Closure helps people to move on. It's the decent thing to do. If you have accepted the fact that he won't comeback, you're already half way to mending your heart. You need an explanation to heal the other half.

    You deserve an explanation. But a word of caution: Don't push it. Try and be calm and collected. If he senses that you are getting anxious, he might put up his wall again. Keep yourself together and hopefully he will be able to explain matters in a civil manner.

    Hope that helps :)

    Best of Luck

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    • Yeah, I don't think there will be any problem with being civil. We're both pretty calm, so no worries there. I'm just worried that he won't tell me the truth, or he'll try to sugar coat it to protect my feelings. I don't want a sugar coated answer. Just the straight up truth.

      Thank you so much. :) Like you said, I'm halfway there. Recently, I've felt like I've been stuck, and I think this is the way to get out.

  • Call him. If that doesn't work, email.

    If you care, try to find out.

    IF you've already moved on, maybe don't stress yourself out.

    Easier said than done of course.

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What Girls Said 1

  • tell this guy he is an ass 4 playing mind games because it's deffo a mind game :L x

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