Long time boyfriend cheated....should I take him back?

so I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years and I recently found out he cheated on me with a friend of his that I recently met...she has a boyfriend and everything and her and my boyfriend were having a little fling on the low but I caught them because from the moment I met her I felt something was wrong and I digged for clues and found...my boyfriend confessed to me that all that happen was he took her out twice and they kissed a couple of times and one time she went down on him...when we had our talk before I broke up with him for closure he was completely honest and answered everything I wanted to know..he told me that he was starting to get bored with the relaitonship and he found interest and happiness in her and he knew he was wrong in doing that while being with me but he was selfish and that somwhere along the way it started to not feel right and he was starting to appreciate me...he begged me for another chance and to let him earn my trust and that he will go as far as not talking to her and I believed him and I really do want to make it work but I don't want to make it seem like nothing happened and just stay with him..i feel like I wouldve seemed weak...so I still broke up with him with the hope that maybe in a month or some time away from each other I can make him realize that if he does this again there will be consequences.

so my main point is...if so how do I reach out to him after I feel like I have had time to myself and given him time to learn his lesson?

or should I wait and see if he contacts me later on?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Most people will tell you that to leave him. But I will say no. Besides the cheating incident, if you think he meets your standards and you can see yourself with him in the future then you should try to work it out. Take a look around this website or around other forums and see how many people complain about a cheating partner. what are the chances you 're not going to end up with a guy that got dumped for cheating. Just work it out with him and maybe he wil learn his lesson. Now it's good that you dumped him. You made your point that cheating is not tolerated , but everyone deserve a second chance. Now how do you do it? Don't contact him, if you do you will lose your power. let him contact you and don't play games when he ask for a chance tell him whatever it is that you have in mind.

    • i feel like he was sincerely sorry but I didn't want to take him back right away and not have him learn a lesson I want him to know there are consequences...but deep down I do want him back but I need at least a month away from him... I don't know how to act during this month off because if I have complete no contact I don't want to push him away but then again I don't want to give in to every time he talks to me because then I'm still letting him know I'm there...so how can I show him that there is

    • Show All
    • Yeah you can ignore him for that month. He is not going anywhere, trust me if anything he is going to flood you with those I'm sorry text messages. Let him get a taste of the consequences a bit.

    • ok but what I'm saying is will I loose my power or look like a sucker if I answer back a simple goodnight or merry Christmas and stuff like that

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What Guys Said 3

  • all the guys have a pretty good point but honestly no don't go back to him sounds so old to say an all cheating..i mean come on to be fair if someone cheats or even thinks about cheating they obviously don't care about there partner as much as they thought they did because there attracted to others and take action just think you go through so much to be with him again and learn to trust him and he does it again..what then what are you left with..you might love him and he might love you back but he doesn't love you as much as you both thought since he cheated the first time

    • you do have a point but we all deserve a second chance, I deserve one, you as well. People make mistakes

  • It's your call to take him back.

    Cheating can be worked out and you can be happy again but trust is hard to gain back once it's broken and he will come to know this all too well if you try to work this out.

    You have to make the judgment call if you really think there's anything to salvage here.

    I'm not sure you should wait to see if he contacts you if you know how you want to approach this as far as the fact that you've made up your mind to not call it quits completely just yet but it's going to take time to rebuild the relationship. Let him know straight up. And if you need X amount of time still before you even feel like getting started on rebuilding, that's up to you and he'll have to play by your rules.



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