Best advice for getting over someone?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I have some tips. On an overall level though, I’d avoid a strategy solely like distracting yourself to avoid thinking about the subject. That’s kind of like taking pills for a mental health sort of thing— they only work as long as you’re taking them. In context of breaking up, it means the remnant feelings stay with you until actually confront them. With that in mind, I would argue an approach of changing the mindset towards the situation.

    Tips:
    1.) Avoid the temptation of rebounds. I’m sure you know this, but I’ve seen friends go in a rebound relationship despite knowing it. Then I watch as it leads to a messy breakup and things are worse than before. Hence, not worth it. May be great for the moment, but generally leads to disaster.

    2.) Free writing.
    This is often a strategy I suggest for people going through depression or coming to terms with traumatic experiences, but it also can be super effective for post-relationship feels. It basically involves writing for 15-30 minutes about whatever you want. This helps you confront feelings and also sort of organize them internally by making them more concrete.
    Instructions and research about it here:
    liberalarts.utexas.edu/.../pennebak#writing-health

    3.) Try your best to not run away from the person or the memories, but accept that they were there and happened. May sound cheesy, I know, but bear with me. I’m saying here that people have a tendency to avoid things that make them unconfortable, but in doing this, the avoidance triggers a fear mechanism and makes a cycle of growing fear/avoidance (coincidentally how phobias begin). In context of the situation, I’m suggesting to realize that the good times you had together were good. The happiness happened, and that’s alright. Again, seems obvious, but it is important to know. I mean, some people do things like delete all photos on facebook of the other person.

    4.) Talk to someone and vent when you want/need to. Doesn’t need to be face to face. It can even be Skype message or a PM to someone. Talking to someone (even without getting advice back) can help immensely in a similar fashion to free writing. The social component of talking can also further things.

    5.) Wait. There is an aspect of time to this.
    Time doesn’t heal things alone, I’d argue, but to heal things, you need time, if that makes sense. Acceptance to feelings won’t happen overnight, and it shouldn’t be disheartening when they’re still here tomorrow.

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    • 6d

      In conclusion (I uhh may have run out of character space above), I hope you realize that there is indeed a future for you, and you can still find happiness without this person in question. Getting over someone starts with an internal acceptance —knowing that you are a good person (that you love yourself), follows up with a general wish for happiness, and ends with a statement that you can and will be happy without this guy.

      Ok, hope that helps. It is long, but that’s the best I got lol

    • 3d

      Thank you so so much. I've screenshoted this to look at every day ❤️

    • 3d

      I’m glad I was able to help. I wish you the best 👍

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What Guys Said 9

  • www.bodybuilding.com/.../...-header-v2-400x225.jpg

    The best and the only healthy way for all times.

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  • We are not even able to forget about what we had for our last night's dinner. For someone we loved or have bound, our brain is surely not letting them go so easily even if our heart does.

    No matter what happened, time already fixes it. We just get use to it, we mostly think we may not be able to live without them, but that's always a lie our mind plays with us. Moving on, remembering we were brought to this World to be happy, not depend on other people, knowing self value really helps. Especially while the others are trying to be happy, already moving on, when you look at the mirror and ask yourself why do I should even suffer for this, am I that worthless or something, once you your mind starts asking these questions rather than how will you forget about him, you start feeling stronger and better.

    We always think we can never get over them, just few months or years later we find ourselves laughing at our weak times as thinking, well.. life is like that, we just move on and I was desperate to feel like that on that moment. We surely do not forget about our past, but we stop the feeling of hurt or others.

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  • Find distractions and try not to say sitting around doing nothing and letting yourself think about them. Also cut out ALL contact. Don't go to social media pages etc... nothing!

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  • Honestly the best thing you can do is occupy your time with things you enjoy. You don't want a bunch of free time where you can dwell on things. These things take time unfortunately.

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  • Give it sometime
    Think about everything then find someone else

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  • Bang the best friend.

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  • Finding someone better

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  • Meet someone new

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  • depends

    how long was it
    and if it was short you will forget

    but if it was long you probably won't

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What Girls Said 1

  • Move a long way away from them and then find someone else.

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