How did my relationship force my parents to get a divorce?

I am going to attempt to make this short as possible. I am a twenty-two female, who is currently still living under my parent’s roof. I pay for what is mine and help whenever it is needed. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly a year now. He doesn’t come to the house, he hasn’t been here for about four months now. He doesn’t even speak to my parents anymore. And when he has, he has been real respectful. Our relationship has been somewhat alright. We argue every so often, but what couple doesn’t? Our arguments have came to a complete stop for about a month now. My father dislikes him, but my mother has been supportive of my relationship til about a month ago. She use to help me go visit him when my car wasn’t working. Go on rides with him to get him food because his roommates would eat his, things like that. Each time we have gotten into a argument, I often would turn to my mother for support, comfort and advice. The other day, I was told the two are getting a divorce. Both of them have told me half of the issues lies around my relationship and my boyfriend. They were tired of hearing us argue. That they couldn’t take it no more. I personally don’t think it is that bad, so I stopped bringing him up in conversations or telling them about the latest argument. However, that wasn’t enough. Now they are getting a divorce and part of it has to deal with my boyfriend. I just feel like it is somewhat unfair to throw the weight on their divorce on my relationship. Makes me feel like it is my fault to blame.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If your parents' divorce was caused by them hearing about y our boyfriend and the arguments, ask them if they will stay together if you volunteer to move out of the house.

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    • That’s the thing, I am already planning on moving by December.

    • They are using you as an excuse because they don't want to confront the real issues in their marriage.

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What Guys Said 5

  • If they had been doing ok before that it wouldn't have been an issue in the first place.

    While the fight may have been over your relationship with your boyfriend that doesn't make it your fault. Just like if I punch some guy over a sports match, the teams didn't make me do it, I did.

    Dont beat yourself up, them blaming you just shows their immaturity.

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  • You can't be the only cause of a divorce. That is between them. That being said if they are completely opposed to each other on your relationship, like if one person hates your mate and just wants to disown you over it and the other accepts it and welcomes you over all the time... that can be a big strain on them and a big source of contention. Still, it is solely up to them if they feel they need to divorce over it.

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  • Nope that is a copout on their part. There is no way people who have been in a relationship for decades get the motivation for divorce from their kid's relationship issues. They are typical baby boomers, they refuse to hold themselves accountable and try to blame it on the next generation.

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  • You can always get a new boyfriend but your parents relationship may not recover... think about it

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  • It is possible that it could be part of why they may be getting a divorce but honestly there was a lot more to it then just that. This relationship may have been as they say, “the straw that broke the camel’s back.” I don’t know the whole story behind the relationship, you say it’s not bad but people usually take up for their partner whether it’s bad or not, even in abusive relationships. I can see why your dad would be mad cause maybe it is a bad relationship and your mom is enabling it. Rather than them standing on the same ground together as a couple supporting one other your mom is going against your dad in this. Not to say that he’s right.

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