Should I send her Xmas flowers anonymously after a break up?

She was very happy with me until she found out I cheated (I never admitted it) and left me. She told friends I'm pretty much dead to her. She was very hurt and moved out (we lived together) right after my birthday without a warning or a note, leaving the gifts I've given her behind.

I just want her to feel good by sending her anonymous flowers to her work for Xmas. She'll most likely figure out who is this from but I figured since I'm sending anonymously, there's no pressure on her. I'm not trying to pressure her to get back together, just want her to feel good and appreciated for Xmas. Should I do it?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It does sound like a nice gesture, but again keep it anonymous. Some day you may tell her you did it, but be aware that you should go into it undemandingly and unselfishly. Also, the type of flowers you choose is key. Red/pink roses convey romance, which you probably should not send. Choose something fun or even festive. Yellows and oranges are always nice and bright, or you could send her something Christmas themed (a lot of flower shops will have poinsettia arrangements or other holiday things).

    The best thing, though, is to give her the respect she deserves. If she is truly angry and hostile with you and discovers you sent her flowers, she may get angry with you and wonder if you have ulterior motives.

    But if you truly are doing it for unselfish reasons and just want her to know she's appreciated anonymously, it is a genuinely kind gesture and I encourage it.

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    • Thanks for a thoughtful advice that I partially followed. I sent her a festive Christmas arrangement with some roses thrown in. She knows me well enough to realize it's not for ulterior motive.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • Go for it! :) No matter how angry she is with you, I'm sure she'd love to know that you still care.

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    • Thanks, Sara, that's exactly what I'm trying to convey to her.

  • leave her alone. You want to make her feel good and appreciated? Turn back the clock and don't cheat on her, or even better, admit that you did cheat instead of lying about that as well. You're a jerk and she deserves better. You honestly think movies are going to make things better?Get real.

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    • Gonna have to agree with above commenter. Cheating is the absolute deal-breaker. You did her wrong. I suggest you start fresh with someone else.

What Guys Said 1

  • Do it, why not.. it's a good gesture

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    • Yeah, that's all I'm trying to do here, is a good gesture. I just don't want to make it worse though.

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