So, me and my wife of 3 years were having serious problems ever since I deployed to Afghanistan. I got jealous of seeing her partying and taking pictures with other guys all over her facebook. She says and I believed her that she would never cheat on me, then out of nowhere she said she wanted to be separated for awhile because she didn't know what she wanted with her future. so 3 months go by and again she says she wants a divorce. I was in so much pain overseas not being able to communicate with her that I decided to go home and get divorced. I fly home and talk with her and we both agree on a divorce is what's best for both of us. So after my lawyer handles all of the necessary paperwork, I fly back to Afghanistan. I get an email from her saying to call. I do and she is crying saying she never wanted a divorce and just couldn't tell me face to face that she got drunk one night and slept with another guy. I will always love her and am hurting more now than before. Can I forgive her and accept her as my wife again?
Most Helpful Girl
Only you can decide that. Being in the military and married in addition to it all is very stressful and difficult. Both of you feel lonely, there is a void but that is only part of the bigger picture when a loved one is deployed.
Understand, loving your wife alone is not enough to remedy your martial issues. I think you need to ask yourself: Can you honestly forgive her and move on? Is she truly remorseful and is she as willing as you to reconcile? What can you both do together, as a couple, to rebuild your marriage across the miles? Is your wife willing to explore options open to her while you are deployed to occupy her time in a healthy way? For example, support groups on post for military wives, groups that put care packages together for deployed troops as pick me up or who have no family, possibly go back to college, volunteer her time at a school or hospital?
Sometimes, as a divorce is almost finalized, couples realize the 'finality' of it all and decide not to do it. They still want to make it work because there is enough there to salvage. You need to decide if you fall into this category and can move on accordingly.
Good luck to you and thank you for serving in the military.0