How long should I wait to talk to my ex?

I broke up with him about a day ago now. I was feeling unhappy in the relationship and as if I didn’t love him enough, I said he deserved better but he disagreed. He thought I was the better and the best for him.

he cried so much in front of me, we hugged tightly and we kissed and we said so many things. He said how he loved me and how I made his life better, I put him on his own 2 feet and helped him in life.

we are young, I’m 17 and he’s 16 and we were together for exactly 8 months with no arguing and no drama. I’ve brought up the idea of breaking up once before, when my feelings were changing in the summer, but nothing feels right so I decided to end it. I could tell he didn’t want things to end, but now I’m scared we’ll never talk again.

im just wondering when would it be okay to get back in contact? We haven’t talked since that night, we did it in person obviously, but since it’s only been a day I want to give it a while. I can see him online social media lots and to me that makes me feel like he couldn’t be bothered with us being broken up.

he hasn’t reached out to me in any way at all, hasn’t deleted me off social media or anything, and I just have no idea how he’s been handling it going to school everyday and acting okay (according to his friends he seemed okay until he brought up the breakup, then he seemed quiet)

but i I want to reach out to him and just talk about things, I kind of rushed this breakup and am sort of regretting it but not sure if I want him back. I just want to see him and talk to him, how long should we wait? And what if he never contacts me again?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • damn, tough brake, ay hope your holding up, it sounds like its his first real breakup. maybe yours too? ahh he's going to be going through the same thing as you (like overwhelmed, confused, etc.).
    the truth is, its up to you how you want to take it. thers no real right way, so to speak.
    It would be a nice gestureto be open about the situation with him.
    as for you regretting that whole thing, I wouild make up your mind, and stick to it. if you want to go back, let him know, if you feel uneasy, then dont. but be clear with how you see things between you two. and be open to the fact he can just as likely not contact you, and you just got to be ok with that.

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    • Yes it’s his first real breakup, honestly it’s mine to. It’s the first time I’ve ever broke up with someone and I did it in person which was real and made things worse. And do you think maybe I should text him and ask him if he’d like to meet up and talk? We sort of rushed the breakup and didn’t get much time to talk about it and maybe we can fix things or just get closure and move on. I know he can contact me just as easily, he hasn’t deleted me off social media yet or anything so he can reach out anytime he’d like. We should probably wait a few days, if he doesn’t contact me at all I just might leave it at that and I’m scared that he’ll be hurting more

  • the fact that he is on social media does not suggest he couldn't be bothered with the two of you being broken up. by that logic you couldn't be bothered too right?

    i think you should give him space. i think reaching out now confuses the message of a break up if you reach out so soon.

    what if he never contacts you again? i doubt this would happen but it was a break up. he's gotta pick himself up and move on.

    i really wouldn't reach out. i think any message probably is a tease that perhaps things aren't really over for him and may give him false hope or generally confuse him emotionally

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Most Helpful Girls

  • I think you should take your time and make clear in front of yourself what exactly are your feelings towards him. Yes, you’ve rushed a big time. Feelings can diminish and then go up during the relationship. It doesn’t mean we need to break up with a partner every time we feel it less strong. You’ve broken his heart, why are you expecting him to be in touch. You didn’t make him feel loved and appreciated. He’s cried, surely he’s bothered, it doesn’t mean he’s going to cry on your shoulder forever. He obviously has dignity.
    You’ve made a decision to break up with him. If you wanted to keep talking to him did you bother to offer him your friendship?

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    • I think I’ve made the wrong decision, I acted too quickly on these feelings. But I’ve been having these feelings of being unhappy for months, I just finally decided to act upon them. I did offer my friendship, but we didn’t talk much at all about when we would chat again or if we would ever be friends.

  • Trust your feelings. If you don’t like this guy, then you did the mature thing by ending it. You won’t be holding him back from the possibility of him finding someone. It’s okay to want to check on him and everything but try to keep your distance. The more you hang around and keep talking, the more he thinks he’d have a second chance with you and not move on.
    I just broke up with a guy I really cared about two days ago, but I just couldn’t love him the way he loved me. It wasn’t fair for him, and I felt guilty if I were to be selfish and just hold on. And I also feel guilty for ending it. We feel guilty because we don’t want to cause the pain of the breakup, especially since a lot of us have been on that side before and know how much it sucks.
    Trust your heart and your instincts. If you were unhappy with him, you did the right thing for yourself and for him. It’s hard, but it’s a part of life. There’s a lesson in each relationship. You learn what you like and don’t like.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 13

  • Why punish him after breaking up with him let him get over u why do u need to talk to him u will be giving him false hope

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    • I just have the urge to talk to him and be there for him, for some reason I feel like I regret breaking up with him but I don’t think we will be able to save us or fix us.

    • There is no us u broke that and u are not allowed to be with him because that not what u wanted what u are doing is manipulation even if u are doing it out of the kindness of your heart it's not nice

  • What is the point of talking to him if you broke up with him? Tease much? "And what if he never contacts me again?" Uh... yeah that's a possibility. If he wants to, he will, and if he doesn't want to, he won't. You'll just have to live with either.

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  • I would advise to take your time and really think about whether or not you want him or not. Remember, there's a reason why you broke up with him, so you should give it some time before you do anything

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  • Leave him alone. If he cried then that mean he really like you. You can talk to him when he's in a happy relationship.

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  • I really don't like things you have done.. now i would suggest you to stay away from that guy dont screw his life let him recover.. i met A girl who was just like you i did the same thing i cried infront of her but nothing happened she said exact same thing you said to me i deserve better... now its been 6 years She is married and i still miss her... never moved on...
    Now first decide you want to be with him or not.. than approach.. it is my thinking that once broken things remain broken no matter how much we try to join it

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  • Truth be told, you don’t regret breaking up with him. You regret the attention and the love you missing from him. Leave him alone.

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  • If ya dont have a kid together then Foreeeevvvverrrrrrr

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  • a good morning and a good night should be the minimal amount.

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  • A lifetime.

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  • Don't contact him. What's the point?

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  • Dont

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  • Why do you want to contact him ever again?

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  • Until he says sorry, and knows what he did wrong.

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What Girls Said 10

  • Girl no offense but leave him alone. You where the one who broke up with his heart. Specially if your not even sure of your own feelings. If he never talks to you I'm sorry to say but it would be for the best. Don't hurt him more then you already did. Plus your both still young just take your time to clear your head and don't disturb him unless he wants to talk to you first.

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  • What is the reason you broke it off? Was he not giving you enough attention? Did he give you a reason that you could not trust him? There are so many components to this situation and choose your happiness and if he wasn’t giving you what you were looking for than there has to be a reason why you did not want a relationship with him anymore.

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  • You broke it off, so be firm about it and move on. Even if you get back together, you're gonna feel same way after a while.

    If you want to get back in touch, wait for really long time. But don't have hopes of getting him back.

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  • You did it for a reason. Give yourself a few months otherwise you'll look like a fool. It'll be hard but you can do it

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  • I agree, leave him alone. You're the one who ended it, so if he wants to talk again it should be his choice. You're both still young and have plenty of time for dating and break ups.

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  • i wouldn't talk to him , i think they are an ex for a reason

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  • If I never talk to my ex again it will be fine with me.

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  • Lifetime

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  • Keep the friendship

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  • Leaveeee him aloneeeee. If you don’t wanna be with him don’t bother him geeezus

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