How to cope when your boyfriend leaves you to be with someone else?

Updates:
A little more info: we were in a ldr and he decided to try with someone locally.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • It says a hell of a lot more about him and his fear of commitment than about you honestly. If a guy is hopping like that it means he was looking while still in a relationship rather than working on whatever it was he felt wasn't right in the relationship.

    He's a manchild, move on and find someone more loyal.

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    • Oh! Fair enough on the distance then, those are super hard and if someone is there locally I can totally understand how they could be tempted away. Not to say you're not an amazing woman but simply that you weren't there. People are social creatures and theoretical online relationships will never be as fulfilling as in person ones that feel real and tangible.

      I wouldn't beat yourself up, have your cry, then dust yourself off and remember you could have looked perfect and acted perfect and the outcome almost certainly would have been exactly the same. There's nothing to beat yourself up over, you didn't do anything majorly wrong as far as I can tell.

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    • @RodinHood thank you :) I hope so. He did my best always

    • @RodinHood True, it isn't a reason to break up but distance is a lot of strain on a relationship so if there are already problems it will make them bigger I would say.

  • Things happen. Nothing lasts forever. Nothing is exactly ever permanent. Just give it time, maybe he really wants to see you and be with you but the distance makes it so difficult he wants to try something different first. Who knows? He might change his mind later. Just don't dwell on it and find other things to get busy with and move on. Like maybe get a pet and take care of it, or if you already have one, spend more time with it. Travel, go dine out and try eating and drinking out at new and different places. Or whatever you really like and want to do to fill that void. You'll be a'ight.

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    • thank you, it kinda makes you feel. miserable to think someone you loved prefers someone else

    • @VictoireDauxerre That's just the reality of it. People can change and tend to change all the time, maybe not now, sometimes it happens later on in their life. Things don't always remain exactly the same, including feelings, desires, etc.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I’ll tell you how I got over my child’s father getting another girl pregnant when I was 8m pregnant and leaving us when she was 4m old... I kept busy. Simple as that. I kept busy with work, being a mother, a second job and my absolute focus was on bettering myself for my daughter.. when he saw that I was keeping busy, not returning texts that didn’t pertain to our child, and was “doin me” he begged me to let him come back. He’s been exiled from my life but doors have not closed for him and my daughters relationship. If I sat in my ass all day, crying about it, I would have been weak enough to take him back. Seriously, my only advice is do something to stay busy.. work, go to the gym, get a side hustle, anything that sparks PROGRESSION. Good luck..

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    • ALSO, don’t ask WHY it happened. Don’t try to understand why that person did it!! Just know that they did and take it as it is. You don’t need to know why! You need to understand that this is a flaw in that persons character and leave it at that. It will get easier. I promise..

    • Good job. You are truly an inspiration and a strong woman!
      I hope I can become someone that strong

  • My ex left me for his coworker and married her. Mind you, we did not have an LDR. I get sour feelings these days when I think about it but the sting hurts less over time. Time, just time

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    • sorry to hear that. I hope you feel better and find a good man who would love you unconditionally

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What Guys Said 32

  • I've had this happen to me before too, I think the things that helped the most were as follows - it can make you feel like you're not worth very much and it's important to know your self worth, the thing is that you won't know it yet so be around friends and family who can support you and remind you of how amazing you really are, don't shut them out whatever you do :) take time to grieve in whatever way you need to; if you need to cry that's cool, if you need to let out the negitivity, buy a set of cheap dinner plates and smash them all then that's cool too, if you want to take a day off to shut yourself away under the duvet and eat lots of chocolate and watch films alone or with a girly friend that's totally cool too, heck if you need to shake yourself up a bit have a little blow out, ride a roller-coaster and have a gin and tonic while you're at it! Take a walk and see the world a bit and just remember whenever you can, that hey, Life's not so bad, shit doth happen and you're a fantastic human being with all of your quirks and traits just like the rest of us 😊 chin up hope you feel a bit better soon 😊

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  • Understand that sometimes two people do not match. And whether that reason is geographic, emotional, financial, it is not because you are better or he is worse. Your needs were just different. And some people need to be with someone locally. That's what they need to be happy. The important thing you have to understand is not being a good match doesn't mean you're inferior. Someday someone might come along and you'll click but that won't mean your ex is less, just wasn't the right match for you.

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    • I was long distance with my girl for 2 years before we got married. She may have been 3300 miles away but I felt closer to her than any girlfriend I had previously. People have different definitions of happiness. Neither is less or more, just different.

    • at least you guys got married

    • Yeah but I didn't with the 8 girls I dated before. Which doesn't make them less good partners they just weren't good matches for me.

  • My current girlfriend was cheated on, it definitely seems harsh for her, but how to cope is just realize the person was stupid af for acting like that, means they ain't worth shit if they can switch up that quick. Means they're not for real, so you're better off anyway

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  • I know it is really hard from experience. My ex girlfriend left me for someone else. I will say it will get better and you will get over it. You didn't do anything wrong he is just a dick. Stay true to yourself do things you love to do and be with friends. The worst thing to do is issolate yourself

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  • I was in this exact same situation years ago. The jerk flew out to Australia instead of coming to my state then she gets sick and I had no way of taking care of her then when I was sick bleeding inside for three days straight the jerk could only worry about her anxiety. On top of that she robbed us of having the chance to have kids while she was here in the u. s. because when she went to Australia she drops a bombshell on me saying she can’t have anymore kids due to early onset menopause which isn’t her fault it’s something her body went through but she could have had kids with me while she was here in the states and on top of it we never had the chance to sit down one on one face to face in person and have a real date it was 16 years of on again off again plutonic bullshit without the physical part unless you count the screwed up seeing each other in Dayton but her saying it wasn’t her as physical or seeing her in niagra falls but not able to talk to her as a physical relationship and there were other issues she changed physically she usd to wear white halter tops and blue denim shorts or jeans to show off her figure and her long dark hair then she chopped her hair making it short like a boys hair cut wearing thick glasses and dressing in a black trench coat and black pants she wasn’t the same woman I fell in love with she changed so drastically over the years and im not going to get into other personal back history because that’s private between me and her alone. But to answer your question I broke it off with her due to all these things it just felt like the relationship was going nowhere except backwards and the screwed up part I wanted so badly to give her my virginity at the time and her to have my kids but NOT anymore that ship has sailed

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  • If he leaves you for someone else, don't loose your self esteem, you can start hating him, don't listen to sad songs, hang out with people you like, do things you like, keep yourself busy, share it with someone who understands you. Cry out as much as you want, don't hold back. Remove all memories of him. Time will heal your wounds. But in saying all these, perhaps forgive him if he did not commit, that's the only up side in this miserable situation.

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  • Be sad. Then angry. Realize you're better off without that jerk. He wasn't worth your time of day. Then, after a year to process what happened, move on. Find someone who appreciates you, and buys you flowers. I recommend a Libra.

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  • Seriously just find someone else who loves you more.

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  • If you treated them the best you could, move on, they don't deserve you, find someone who does and count yourself lucky

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  • So? Why are you blaming him for moving on with his life cause you didn't move on with yours.

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  • U need to build self assurance self confidence and independence to really be ok with no needing anyone to be happy. Don't depend on one person for your happiness, there are too many other people in the world to invest your whole well being in to one person #freelove

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  • There is only one way of coping, and that is moving on with your life and meeting new local people.

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    • I have a bunch of guys chasing me here but I still think of him

    • If he left you then you can't be that person who refuses to see what's truly happening. The only way to cope is to meet someone new or better yet, indulge in work or hobbies.

  • Realize you deserve to do right by you and make your life better for yourself.

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  • Surround yourself with people who care about you as you heal

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  • Do what makes you happy be with someone else if need be just be happy your self in any way you seem fit

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  • By finding a sexy crusader like me. Simple as that.

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  • I don't know but
    Y u gotta show off that perfect body like dat? 🤔

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  • I hear you, I had the same case several times already.

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  • Stop feeling guilty.. Once you do this you'd be able to look at other guys

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  • Karma will bite his ass.

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  • Find another boyfriend

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  • Girls do that as well

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  • Ice cream. Lots of ice cream.

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  • He deserves happiness.

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  • find new boyfriend duh

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  • when did this happen?

    and did you accept this?

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  • Isn't that reason itself strong enough?

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  • Find a better boyfriend

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  • Get a rebound guy

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  • Gal move one... Idiots are like that only

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    • How is he an idiot for doing something that makes him happy. Would he be smart to stay in a relationship he was unhappy in?

    • Dude.. That is the problem.. Long distance or whatever... Relation is relation

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    2

What Girls Said 13

  • Considering the update, you just need to make yourself realize that ldrs are very very hard, not everyone's cup of tea.
    So maybe it just wasn't meant to be.

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  • Easy. Love yourself, dance/sing your heart out, laugh your ass off where you almost pee yourself, dress up nice when going out, watch movies that he would never watch with you, have fun with family and friends, work on yourself (changes thing you don't like about yourself *lose weight etc*) smile more, keep your head up, remember you don't have to tell anyone where your going and for what reason so hit the bar with friends or stay home and have a spa night with da girls

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  • That is the major problem with a LDR. You should have seen it coming- sooner or later. Just find yourself someone local and your problem will be solved.

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  • I would feel bad at first but i would google about disadvantages of ldr and then i would be oh maybe it is for the better
    You know what happened to him could have also happen to you it is very difficult to control your feeling for someone who is close to you than one who is far

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  • That ldr is very hard and usually doesn't work and that it's best to meet someone locally as well. But until then, just give yourself time to get over the break up, cry it out, talk about it, etc and just go day by day.

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  • I had this happen to me and it was painful the best thing i did was talk to family and friends to help you not think about it. But as days go by you will find a boy that loves you for you!! Wish you the best of luck😊

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  • Aww poor you just remember your perfect just the way you are he does not deserve you

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  • Damn he did that?
    That's shitty

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  • By coping

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  • fuck him, he is a piece of shit who used you when it was convenient

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  • Omg I just find out my husband was in an online ldr when we met a year ago and he kept talking with her little while we were a relationship. I am so pissed. I would never be like a man like that if i knew. I would tell you he is not worth it, you deserve better than that illoyal cheating scum. How should you ever trust him if he came back. He could at least be a man about it and tell you before that hhe didn’t see you relationship lasting b fore he tried to be with someone else. You deserve so mich more than a guy like that. SOmeone faithful. Loyal.

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  • Focus on you, focus on improving yourself. We can always get better. Now is a perfect “you” time and only you.. perfect time to explore yourself and take care of yourself more. Perfect time to pick some beautiful parts of yourself that you lost while you were with him.

    Instead of spending your time thinking about him, spend your time doing things that will improve you may it be physically, emotionally.. do things that makes you happy. Get distracted... you’ll eventually realize life is actually better now that he’s gone. You’ll be thankful to him that he left.

    Pick yourself up and do you. Screw that boy🙂

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    • My last relationship was ldr too. We were together physically for few months and went long distance for months. It just got messy and stressful. Love shouldn’t stress you out, it’s supposed to take stresses off your shoulder. Anyway, i was relieved when we broke up. No lies, no fights and arguments. Because that was basically all we had when we went long distance.

      Maybe this is just for me but, i believe things do happen for a reason. Im sure your breakup happened for a good reason too.. not only for him, but as well as for you.

  • LDR are not real relationships unless you lived with the other person before. Of course he wsnts someone he can touch instead of a photo on instagram

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