He just keeps begging!

I have been married to my husband for almost 10 years, and Sunday night he punched me and spat in my face. I took my kids and left the house. He keeps calling and begging me to come home. He's crying and saying how sorry he is...and he's threatening to kill himself. I'm NOT going back...but I do love him. How can I make it stop hurting so much to hear him cry? I hate to hear that...it makes me so sad.

  • I would take his calls and try to calm him down.
    Vote A
  • I would stop taking his calls.
    Vote B
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Updates:
Thank you all so much for your advice. With the exception of one person, your comments have been helpful and kind. I have absolutely NO intention of going back...that was never an option I even considered. I will not be beaten by any man.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Your a woman I am sure you have used or are familiar with the tactic of crying. This is kind of a pathetic move on his part. Maybe he does feel sorry but if he did I don't think he would call you up right away and beg and cry at you, that's manipulative. The safety of your kids is most important with your safety a close second. Him actually sorry might be him calling days later/writing a letter or sending you flowers. Sorry could be him not calling you back at all idk. You are not obligated to make him feel happy, clearly he is not feeling obligated to make you feel good.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • whatever you do DON'T go back to him.

    i can't sit by and say nothing on things like this as I have personal experience with it. what you need right now is to stay away from him and to call the police when he threatens to kill himself. they will get him the help he needs. also you need to divorce him as the psycological help he needs will take years and he will be a completely different person.

    im sorry if what I'm saying seems extreme but I'm crying thinking about this. you see my mom was murdered by my stepfather 2 years ago. he then turned a gun on himself after calling himself out of work.

    your husband is extremely mentally unstable and needs professional help the most you can do for him is to contact someone who can get the help he needs to him.

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  • I personally think that you should go back to him, just to see why he did that to you and if he will ever do it again, cause you said you still love him, that means you feel that he did it wrongly and not by intention and he's sorry, why can't you just forgive him, you his wife, where's your sacrifice, if he hit you once, would you just leave him like that...if he's really sorry and did it by fault, why can't you just accept his hug and apologize...in the end it's your choice but it doesn't worth breaking your life for just that...now if he did it again than it will be the end...you must sit alone and think very well and not to listen to anynone...that's my opinion!

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  • First of all, I agree with most who said: Don't go back! But you know that and you are not planning to do so.

    You should see the nut job that my mother has become after living for decades with an abusive jerk that my father was. You want that for your kids and yourself? You know, had you gone back, maybe out of pity, it doesn't matter, he would have gotten the message that it is OK for him to spit on you and hit you. And guess what, he would be right! The only way to get back with him is to take his abusive behavior and like it! In the same time, hope that he won't kill you before your kids are old enough to be independent.

    Think about that whenever you feel sorry for that poor excuse of a human being.

    (Crying...F***!)

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What Girls Said 4

  • You have to stay strong and keep in mind what he has done to you. If that isn't enough, you need to remind yourself what is best for your kids. Putting them in that situation isn't okay. Stop taking his calls, cut off all ways of communication - you shouldn't even allow him to get closure.

    Obviously, someone who is threatening to kill themselves is not emotionally stable and it just wouldn't be in your best interest to stay... Please, please, please. Use logic over love for the sake of you and your children.

    Hope everything gets better and I hope you're able to overcome this.

    xoxo

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  • Honey I've been there done that, and trust me, if you go back, it'll never end.. My ex almost killed me because when it happened again he knew I'd try to leave... just please don't do it. You deserve way more that than! If you need to really talk message me cause I know what its like!

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    • Thank you. It's been a really tough week, and I appreciate your offer to talk with me. I'm so sorry that this happened to you too. It's hard, but I will NEVER tolerate being beaten by any man. I do love him and don't want him to hurt himself, but I won't go back no matter what he says.

  • You're a smart woman by not going back to him. If he can't control his temper, then he certainly doesn't deserve you. As for the crying and saying he's going to kill himself, call the cops next time he does it and let them handle it. That way you're not directly involved and you'll know he's safe. Don't tell him you're doing it though. Let him be surprised. Trust me if he's not serious about killing himself, he'll definitely stop the calls after that. If he is, then the hospital will lock him in BMU for a few days for patient assessment and whatnot. Either way, he's safe and not causing you grief.

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  • Getting yourself & the kids out of the house is a brave move & I think you should NOT go back unless he commits to therapy or counseling first. The next time he calls, you can tell him that that is your condition & ultimatum. Try to be firm please. I understand how our heart can win over our mind but when he starts to cry think of the time he punched you & spat on your face.

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