Why are some people still friendly with their ex?

I just can't understand this at all.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • No reason not to be friendly with them.

    I see it from the opposite side. I don't see why people break off all ties with their ex and act like they never existed. To me that's really strange.

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    • Well maybe it’s because there was a harsh breakup and feelings were hurt. My last breakup wasn’t the worst thing ever, but feelings were hurt. I didn’t want to be friends with my ex cause it would be weird but I was okay with still being friends on social media and small talk. He was really petty and blocked me before I could ever get a chance to talk to him.

    • Well yea, it's understandable if they had a nasty breakup. I just don't see why a couple that breaks up should break off all tie be default.

  • If you can't understand it at all, you may don't understand my answer. A relationship can transform. A meaningful romantic relation can become a strong friendship once both realize they have more in common as friends than a couple. Sure, you can be friendly with your ex and your ex may rather maintain distance. It depends on everyone personal view of what should happen after a breakup.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • I can understand in situations where it never got serious. Like they gave it a try cause they liked each other, but it wasn't romantic. But it could sabotage future relationships as jealousy is natural.

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  • Not everyone ends relationships in bad terms. Sometimes if the break up is not ugly, but it's more like both of them realize together that it won't work and they need to move on, they can agree to be just friends

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 56

  • I'm only friendly with a couple of them and we never had strong feelings for each other, maybe not even "feelings". I mean we slept with each other and hung out a lot, but I'm not sure if we even actually "broke up" so much as just happily parted ways after a while.

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    • Like we didn't even necessarily "break up" as there was nothing there to break in the first place.

    • In my case the ending was on good terms but, much more importantly to me, there were never any real strong feelings between us in the first place. It's the former feelings in my opinion that you had with exes, like if you loved them so much before, that can make entertaining a friendship very awkward. If you just had sex without any strong feelings and had fun on dates and just hung out like friends with no feelings there, then I think it's really easy to stay friends afterwards.

  • Some young people are accustomed to having others tell them how to act and how to feel. Apparently, somebody put put the word that "cool" people remain friends with an ex after a break up, so they are just moving along with the herd. Baa, baa, baa!

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    • Lol well there is a guy I'm interested in and he's still in contact... and im not comfortable with that.

    • You shouldn't be comfortable with that. . . and that's one of the reasons why it is a bad idea.

  • Not all breakups are bad. And i'm speaking for myself here but i can't just turn off loving and caring for someone like a switch. You may not be the lady of my life anymore but i'll never stop caring about you when you break up with me. I assume that's normal. maybe it isn't lol

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  • Not all break ups are bad break ups. My parents divorced five years ago because neither of them were happy in their marriage and both of them wanted to divorce. They're still neighbors and great friends to this day. Sometimes they come over to each other and sit for hours on end in the kitchen and just talk.

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  • I'm on good terms with two people. One I used to date the other i was with for a little while.
    The difference is when we split up we were on good terms.
    The first sort of faded into nothing because we hadn't seen each other in so long.
    The second she told me she didn't want to carry on, she didn't really like me in that way.
    Which, well that's fair. I don't mind. A shame but oh well. I still talk with them both from time to time.

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  • Because there was a reason you liked that person enough to become a couple. That reason doesn't change, just because you're no longer a couple.

    If the person you're in a relationship isn't at LEAST one you would be friends with, you're in the wrong relationship.

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  • its not hard, just because things didn't work not mean you have to hate or be nasty, it just depends on why broke up, there is of course reasons why lot can't

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  • Because you know the devil in the blue dress better then the one in the red dress.

    Even though devil in the blue dress didn’t workout. You two know each other really well. The devil in the red dress still on learning curve but in time. Things can become better. Or can’t teach at all

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  • Why NOT? Being friendly with people is good, saves you lots of stress.

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  • Their terms of their break up... like if they both decide they just don't mesh well or thought it was love early on and discovered otherwise, or even they were old friend experimenting with a relationship and it just felt awkward... or just broke up and chose to stay friends

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  • Because they aren't complete assholes that think the only reason to give someone any of your time and energy is to be in a relationship with them. People break up for different reasons, if you got along with someone before why can't you do it again? Even if it's just friends.

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  • there's only a few Im not at least vaguely friendly with. Most ended on reasonably good terms but its always hard for a few months to years after depending how long you were together

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  • Depends on the kind of relationship. If they were close friends then dated, and mutually decided to end it, it's not a problem to stay good friends

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  • Because not all break-ups led to separate ways. Some people still can talk with their ex because maybe before they were friends.
    And the end of a relationship can't always end a friendship.

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  • Relationships can end on a good note. People can fall out of love but still be best friends. My ex as a teenager is still my best friend and we are both married now. Never had a problem with it.

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  • If u like someone, his/her persobality , sense of humor and so on u can still be friend with that pearson.

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  • I can't understand it either. My ex wanted me to be friends with her, while I wanted to stay away from her. Because, she is the one who left me for her parents

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  • It may have been an amicable separation. If there is a child/children involved, the pair may want the children to keep contact with both parents which necessitates friendly interaction between the parents.

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  • The only good reasons would either be because they want to get back together or because enough time has passed and they can have a platonic friendship

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  • Why not? Maybe if they cheated on you or something. If you are still angry at them you aren't over them.

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What Girls Said 15

  • I don't understand it either. Far as I'm concerned, my ex can fuck off. When I returned his stuff, I left a note on the box saying to never contact me again. I thankfully haven't heard from him. Thank God for that. He treated me like shit.

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    • You had the courage to say no to an idiot. Lots a people get so enamored that they cannot break the abuse cycle. Happy for you. You will eventually find a man worth your love. They are out there. Make sure they have a career! You'll be much happier.

    • @MemoryAlpha thanks! It took longer than I care to admit because I thought we could fix things. But one day I was assaulted by a patient with mental health issues and he didn't care enough to see if I was okay. That was the end for me. I'll find Mr. Perfect one day.

  • They’re weak minded or they just want to have sex with them

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    • I totally agree with u...

    • Show All
    • @TsubasaCorrupted here’s an example. I blocked my last serious boyfriend on both my numbers. So he hits me up on instagram dm practically begging me to talk to him asking if I needed a friend. Just showing he hasn’t changed one bit. He even mentioned sex so I had to threaten to dm his now girlfriend a screenshot of his messages. That got him to stfu. Moral of the story it’s best to just stay away.

    • In my situation, I'm friends with my ex, and my girlfriend is friends with hers and he's pretty cool. I guess we are the odd group. :)
      Hopefully they stop pestering you

  • Not all break-ups are horrible. Sometimes people just grow apart, or realize they are better off friends. You can absolutely end a relationship on good terms.

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  • Because relationships don't always end up bad and because before jumping into the relationship you first build a friendship with the other person. I'm very picky for the people I build relationships with and if I do that I wanna keep them in my life.

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  • they probably broke up on mutual terms, and made the decision that they'd be better off as friends.

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  • maybe they ended things in a mature manner or good way
    which is good, as long as they have completely moved on from each other

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  • I'm only friendly with some of my exs cause we are adults and realized that we can't be together so we are better off as friends :)

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  • They probably had a great bond as friends. Just got hairy when they tried to hard to make their relationship as perfect as their friendship so they go back to being friends.

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  • on some level they want to be with them still and being friends , the ex would come and comfort them about there breakup

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  • Once the damage heals some discover they make great friends. If the break up is fresh I don’t see how they do it.

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  • Some people just get over it nd know to just keep things casual nd friendly

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  • Seeking opportunities to get emergency fuck around.

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  • Because I was friends with him before we got together, and we parted on good terms

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  • Just because things don’t work out does not mean u cut they out of ur life forever

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  • Because not all of us have harsh, angry break-ups.

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