He was great in the beginning. We understood each other. He was sweet and kind. But of course he had some issues. We both were struggling with clinical depression. There was a time when I was doing better than he was. He was on the brink of suicide. I basically saved him from that. If it had not been for me, he would have died. No question about it. After that, he began to seek professional help but could not afford it. However, he did seem to be doing better. I was with him every step of the way. Constantly supporting him, catering to his every need. My life then began to crumble apart due to a series of unfortunate events. And... I fell HARD. I did try for therapy and pills but... at the time my money wasn’t where it needed to be for me to continue. I pretty much just gave up on life. I was convinced that I couldn’t save myself. And when I looked to my boyfriend for emotional comfort he became distant. He ignored me and belittled me. He even moved to a different state without telling me. After he moved he told me that he was slipping again and so he was seeking the help of his family that was in that state. I had zero friends. So I became lonely. I did eventually meet a friend and he was ONLY a friend and he helped me out a lot. My boyfriend was lying to me and manipulate me for reasons I don't know why. But I did express to him that I needed him and that he was being an ass. He told me straight up “I don’t care”. Why did I not leave him? Because I was fighting for my relationship that I spent years investing in. True love never gives up. I’m no fucking quitter. So I was constantly trying to pick myself back up but I wasn’t strong enough so I did try to end my life... sort of. I was self harming and I wouldn’t stop. I probably would have died that day but then my FRIEND caught me and stopped me. He comforted me and cleaned me up. After that, he kissed me (wasn’t long but I didn’t stop him) and slept on the couch. I broke up with the boyfriend the next day.
I mentioned my cheating in other people’s questions and everyone jumped down my throat telling me there’s no excuse. Once a cheater always a cheater.
However, I genuinely feel that I am not a cheater. My circumstances at the time were a bit grey and it’s not like I actively pursued some kind of outside lust.
Most Helpful Guys
I think I can see where you're coming from. It would have been an entirely different thing if you had slept with him that night but only a kiss is definitely forgivable. Especially considering the context. Of course we can only hear one side of the story here and maybe your ex-boyfriend would have a very different take on things. So because of this, I don't want to say too much about the things you've told us that led to this.
However, I do have a lot of respect for you for not being a quitter. I'm the same. I always fight for my relationships (not just romantic ones but those in particular). I believe too few people these days are doing that. Relationships have become a kind of consumer commodity, where people use them as long as they're fresh and cool and the minute any cracks become visible, they walk to the closest trash can and dispose of them.
I'm sorry that you've had a rough time and have been struggling with depression. Some of my family members do too and I know how hard it can truly be. To answer your question, and this is only my opinion, whether you cheated or not depends on your future intentions.
If you plan on trying to keep being with him and maintaining your relationship then yes you did. However, I wouldn't fault you at all. You should be honest with him, let him know what happened and why.
If you have no intention of being with him any more, then no you didn't cheat. When he left without saying anything that might as well of been the same thing as breaking up.
Most Helpful Girls
You kissed another man while with someone else. That constitutes as cheating in my book.
There is no excuse to be so toxic to someone though--as in manipulative and demeaning--so I am glad that you did. It helped you.
Situations like this is where I don't see a problem with cheating.