I met this girl 2 and a half years ago, randomly, she is three years younger than me. We clicked from day one. We always enjoyed each others company, where always comfortable. laughing in each other presence, had the same views on everything. I lived out of town, but had family in hers, so was there often. She had some little quirks though, she would disappear randomly for weeks, or months at a time. I later found out she goes through small drug binges. Not so good. Her family is an amazingly close knit group of honest hardworking people, but this girl just can't seem to stay on the rails. It almost seems like she just lets everything buildup, then it all explodes, and a binge happens. The drugs are usually social drugs, ecstasy, mdma, but now, cocaine. She is quite insecure, and lacks self confidence. But has a great heart, an amazing personality, most of the time, and is a very good person. Anyways after almost two years of friendship she confessed her feelings, and her love to me. We dated, and everyone who knew us said it just looked meant to be. We were both amazingly happy, the only issue I ever noticed was the lack of conflict resolution, which eventually led to the end. She was insecure...and it got bad. To the going through my cellphone, facebook, and watching me to see if I was even noticing other women. Whenever an issue needed to be compromised on...80% of the time it wasn't. Id go into the disagreement looking to find common ground and a compromise, she would try to start a yelling match. And it just kept getting worse. It got to the point where she wanted to spend all her time with me, literally. It got too much, the fighting increased, and one last night where she picked a fight over nothing I couldn't do it. And I told her we needed space and a break. To reset. She continued to pick fights, and got into cocaine really heavily. I went No Contact. I broke it a few times because she would call me telling me she would work on herself, stop the pointless fights, and get back on track, but it only lasted a couple of days. Then the fights again. So we went no contact. Shed still try to pick fights, shooting for lower and lower blows every time. About a month into the break she finally called and we had one really good talk, she sounded absolutely sincere this time about it. So we agreed to meet, and she actually asked me if I knew where to find any cocaine a few hours into the night. I told her no, and we parted ways. Honestly, when she was on the right track, I have never been happier, felt such a strong connection with anyone or been myself as I was around her. And I don't know what to do. She's just getting more and more hooked, showing up late for work and screwing up relations with her family and friends. I care but I don't know what to do. Its been two months, I still think about her everyday. I've given her space and stayed out of her life, should I just move on and forget..? Or is there anything at all I can do...
Should I just move on and forget..?
What Girls Said 1
You need to ask yourself whether you can deal with her and giving up a large part of your life to help her through it.. it sounds like she doesn't want to beat the addiction, and if she doesn't want to help herself what can you do? But it just seems unfair though to leave her alone and let her slowly waste away like that, perhaps you/or if you can talk to the family to try get her some professional help. If they can't help, even if they can.. you will have to decide whether you want to stick around with someone who may be dependent on drugs her entire life, or will go that path again- it will be tough for you if you want to stay in the relationship. Good luck.0
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