What is healthy way to deal when your partner is taking you for granted? Is break up really only what is left?

What should I do, he loves me in some way but he does not look me the way he used to, he does not show me as much affection as I need, he don't feel need to impress me when we talk. Today we went for walk, we mostly didn't talk at all.
We live together for 5 years. I told him many times how I feel, there is no improvement. Is break up really only solution?
  • You should break up.
    Vote A
  • You should not.
    Vote B
  • I don't know
    Vote C
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Thank you all.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Why should he always adore you when you make no progress. In fact it's opposite: you're getting older and less attractive. And you want the same passion and romantics out of the blue. Are you crazy?

    You are asking a stupid question. If it would be something like "I dropped 3 stones in the gym, put silicone breasts, made skin procedures, put in elite make up and did a model haircut and he still doesn't notice that"... Well that could be reasonable. But as you're dreaming about a breakup, geez, do it. The guy deserves someone better.

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    • He also made no progress so I should love him less also? Are you even in relationship, have you ever been loved or know what love is?

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    • lol this has nothing to do with her question. You are very much unhelpful and sound much more imature than your age would indicate.

      Anyways, they are probably ona rut and maybe she hasn't expressed herself well enough for him to understand. maybe if he indicates she is even wondering if they should break up due to the fact that she feels he doesn't like her the same anymore might wake him up. Just express that. dont threaten break up. But tell him u feel his feelings for u ar dying for some reason and u feel helpless.

  • All relationships lose their passion as they get old. In the end all that is left is your friendship with the other person.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • I mean if you really love him, talk to him about how you feel!! If he still doesn't meet your needs, find someone who will <3

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  • There are ups and downs in every relationship. He might have something else on his mind bothering him or dealing with. Instead of expecting attention, try to give him attention by asking him if there’s something wrong or something he wants to tell you about. There might be something happening outside of your relationship. It’s not always about us (women). Try to be supportive even if you think that there’s nothing he’s bothered about. He will appreciate it even if he doesn’t show it.
    Surprise him with something you know he’d love. Make yourself look beautiful with no reason. Change your hairstyle or something else in your appearance.
    If he doesn’t talk to you or doesn’t show you much affection it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you anymore. He’s just settled. You need to keep the fire on.

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    • I take care of looks, I really do. I am girly girl. I know there are things that bothers him but when we are in bigger circle of friends, he is his old self, charming, makes jokes, I see how he look other womens. Like he used to look me. I just think he takes me for granted and is not inspired my me anymore to make some effort.

    • He's playing cool around friends and most men have that special look at women, it should not bother you unless you have a proof of him being unfaithful or too flirtatious.
      Taking you for granted can have a good side - it means he's comfortable with you and doesn't feel pressure and need to win you. If you want that kind of attention you probably can try to do more activities on your own and most importantly do not show you are annoyed or disappointed with him. Do things that will make grow his respect to you.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 16

  • Takes 2 to tango. If your needs are not met and he doesn't eant to change to fulfill those needs then you have to either leave or deal with it.

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  • What are you bringing to the realtionship? Women always do this, they only see things through their eyes.

    However, most relationships end up like this. You start as lovers, then it turns to just friends and you end up being nothing more than room-mates.

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  • So the relationship is all about you and your needs? What about his needs, are you satisfying them?

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    • Yes I do, I take care of his needs. Don't project yourself on my situation. You judge me before you even know facts. Wow

    • I wonder what he would say about that.
      I do not need to know facts, I know your type, that is more than enough.

  • Talk to him about it, explain how you feel, let him explain how he feels, find compromise

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    • I did all of that, it is like he don't look me with same eyes. I can't explain that.

  • If you have addressed your concerns to your partner and the sweep them under the rug and continue with the same BS than it's time to leave.

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  • Most of the time when this happened in a relationships it me as that the relation is falling apart
    So cut it short and leave quietly
    But: when you gonna decide you need to be 100% sure of this.
    If he doesn't has any excuses for this I say brake up

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  • You're 25 to 29. How old is he? Maybe he's going through early male menopause? It happens. Happened to me at about 40. Maybe earlier. Just lost all interest. Now my libidos shot back up again. Thought I was done with it. Guess not.

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    • He is 30, we are good in terms of sex, still do it minimum twice a week. Lol. But something else feels off. The way he is behaving around me, he is just not making effort to hug me, kiss me, listen to me or tell me some funny story.

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    • I just can't talk to his friends cuz they are his friends, they wouldn't tell me a thing. Yes, I also though about possibility of cheating. Or maybe he is having crush with somebody else.

    • It's probably nothing too serious. Even if he's crushing with somebody, if he loves u he likely won't do anything. He'd feel rotten if he did.
      Early onset male menopause. Some girl flirts with him. He flirts back. My gramma and grampa went through something similar. She accused him of getting his pencil sharpened by the woman at the post office. It was likely true. But they stayed married for 70 years.

  • According to what you wrote, yes. Its time for you two to move on and find someone who is good for you, clearly you too did use all your resources.

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  • When you say you told him, did you tell him directly or did you tell the usually riddles women like to use and expect their men to understand as if we have psychic abilities?

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    • I told him directly, I am not into playing games.

    • Then all you have to do now is show him physically what you need. Do something to turn him on.

    • We don't have sex problems. We do it often

  • iam in same situation as the asker just reversed but exactly the same and i dont know what to do either, i love her but can't take it anymore but dont have heart to end it

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  • If he don't change there is no other option maybe couple therapy

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  • Users use people places things for maximum benefit minimun effort or what they call that 4 letter word WORK

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  • Since when does a guy have to impress a girl while a conversation? I don't get you.

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  • No sit him down , he proble doesn't even realize what he is doing so sit hem down and tell him

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  • You just love the attention

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  • women lol

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    • Explain please? You think I am unreasonable?

What Girls Said 3

  • I know that this can sound kind of silly but little changes can make a huge difference.
    Start thanking him for the things that he does do and maybe he'll start to do the same back to you.
    Flirt with him a little bit more.
    Go out of your way to do something nice for him.
    Changed behaviour has a flow on effect.

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    • They are both living deads. There will be no change, except if one of them win a lottery ticket.

  • You should talk to him, you never know what he is going through or what he is hiding from you. relationships are full of trust and honesty. even if you are scared to tell him how you feel listen to your heart and do it anyway.

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  • if you love him yeah

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