My boyfriend and I have been going out for 9 months now. From the beginning everything went smoothly. Before him, I was in a very long and serious relationship and end up getting betrayed. He knows all about my past and is very understanding and supportive of how distant I am. Regardless of how I treat him, he is still very warm and accepting. The problem is, I'm not in love with him.
I do find him physically attractive and there's nothing wrong with our sex lives. In short he's a great great boyfriend with normal flaws, such as cracking stupid jokes about women driving. My friends and family all think he's such a great catch. He's never picked a fight or made me cry but for some reason I find him annoying. Everyone LOVES him and I don't understand why.
He makes me laugh and knows all my favorite things. He reliable and helps me with my school work. He pushes me to go to class and indulge in my hobbies. Yet, I can't stand him more than once every two weeks. Something about his personality draws everyone else in but repeals me. Sometimes I can understand what makes him funny and easy to like but most of the time I wish he would just leave me alone!
I guess I'm just not happy with him but I'm afraid that I could grow to love him and he would be the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm afraid that I'm just not mature enough to see that he's exactly what I need but not want. So, should I break up with him or learn to live with him?
Most Helpful Guy
> I'm not in love with him.
> I do find him physically attractive and there's nothing wrong with our sex lives.
From your perspective he sounds like friend material or FWB material if you both want to continue the sex now and then.
You have to tell him how you feel though, and give him the option of ending it if he is just going to get hurt.
> I can't stand him more than once every two weeks
> most of the time I wish he would just leave me alone!
What is behind this?
You say "Everyone LOVES him and I don't understand why." as though this is a bad thing.
Is it personal jealousy that other people like and respect him, and you'd like more of these feelings to be towards you? You would probably like things even less if everyone else that mattered to you thought he was a deadbeat, boring or actively disliked him.
Is it because he is too mature in his outlook (eg encouraging your learning etc) for your age and stage of life? As you say there is a risk of waking up one day somewhat more mature and thinking "damn, shouldn't have let him go".
On balance he sounds like he'd make a great catch for someone else, and you should let him get on with finding her.
You may need to find someone you feel to be less attractive and inferior to you to be compatible with your ego. Guys are generally happy to trade up so assuming you have the goods there should be no shortage of willing takers.
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