because you didn't want hurt their feelings?
How do you deal with the contradiction? I'm usually straight forward & if something is gong to bother me for months id day it sooner rather than later because I think its disrespectful to be mad at someone for something they dot know they are doing.
But if I DON;T tell someone something because I'm worried about hurting them , I would not ever tell them way after the fact & I certainly would not tell them way after it happened & then tell them the reason was to spare their feelings before. That would mean I want to hurt them now..
Person says -in an irritated manner:
"You were always 'fill in the blank' "
So you say:
"If that's the case, why didn't you say this earlier?"
"I didn't want to hurt your feelings."
#1 Whatever it is, its past. #2 IF they were really worried telling me would bother- Why would it bother me any less NOW, when I can't fix it, as apposed to back then when I could?