How to deal with an ex that you're still friends with?

So an ex an I share the same group of friends and we had a clean breakup, so remaining friends seemed the best route. Recently though, she doesn't give me the time of day and it's getting on my nerves. She'll suggest we do something, then when I follow up on it she never responds back in time. I'll usually get a message a few days later saying sorry for not getting back sooner, but I was busy, etc. Truthfully she is very busy and always apologized before I would even bring it up, so I let it slide.

I guess today hit a nerve again though, as a few days ago she overheard me talking to somebody about going for a hike just before dusk on Christmas day and said she might want to go. This morning I texted her a Merry Christmas and asked if she was coming later. As you would expect I've heard nothing from her, not even a Merry Christmas.

I want to ask her if there is a problem, and why she can't give 15 seconds of her time to give a short answer. However, I know that will escalate things, which normally I'd LOVE to do. However, as I mentioned we have the same friends. In fact we're all supposed to take a road trip tomorrow ( a foot of snow coming, so I doubt it).

I also want to just completely ignore her, but again, we're going to be seeing each other often.

I really don't want to act like it isn't happening, but it seems the most reasonable. If anybody can offer some insight perhaps that could sway me one way or another.

FYI, she really doesn't seem like the attention-seeker that I would normally guess a girl who does this is. I think she's just busy and just puts off texting me back. Either way, it's disrespectful in my book.


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What Girls Said 2

  • My super busy friend answers me within half a day. And believe me, she's super busy. Does she have a phone? A good plan? Sometimes that might be a problem.

    Since you already understand that she's busy, why complain about it? If she didn't make time for you as boyfriend girlfriends, why should she answer you if you guys are just friends?

    Just ignore her. She has a lesson to learn- that relationships, no matter bfs or just friends, are more important than other things, many many other things.

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  • I wouldn't waste my time even thinking about it. If you don't wanna hang out with me then cool I won't waste my time asking you to hangout.

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    • That is the general direction I took, as the longer I've lived the more I've realized it makes no sense to spend time on people that won't spend time on you. This time she kind of invited herself, and things like this will happen often, as again, our close friends are the same.

      I'd like to just not waste my time thinking about it, but I've known her for too long and see her too often to be able to do that easily.

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