Why is my ex acting like this?

Hi there,

Well my boyfriend broke up with me 5 months back. Was quite harsh when breaking up, insulted me an basically beat me down verbally... but said we could still be friends. We came back to uni (we're on the same course, but had been together for a while before uni started). Over the summer he contacted me once to ask how results went- and then just a random time to ask me a question I'm sure he already new the answer to. Anyway, we came back to uni and he seemed really uncomfortable around me, wouldn't look at me, or speak to me and basically tried to avoid all contact with me. When drunk he stand there and glare at me if I came anywhere near him, he tried to get with some girls in the first term but failed. A few weeks on my close friend (my now bf) asked my ex how he was feeling about everything he said he was feeling awkward and that it was a lot harder then he'd thought to come back and be friends with me. My mate then said "it seems like you still care a lot for each other though" and my ex agreed that we did.

I don't understand what his problem is. We never fell out- I've been nice to him since we've come back... any guys know what's going on?

oh- also, he's being a bit funny with my new boyfriend - ie won't talk to him as much any more... the other week we came to a party together (me and new bf) my ex saw us arrive and immediately left?

any thoughts on what's going on in his head?

cheers x


Most Helpful Guy

  • i generally think he doesn't know what the f*** he is doing. is he acting full on d*** head so to speak and is he being rude or just avoiding you. it took me and my ex a really long time to start to talk to each other again. it takes a while for scars to heal if you understand what I mean. it doesn't fully make sense why he is doing this but this is my thought, he is acting like this because he wants to hide behind a figurative barrier and is acting in such ways because he is still confused and doesn't know what he is talking about.

    he is acting this way because he has mixed emotions toward you. he is projecting it unjustly and is being unfair to you...leave him alone he is just trying to get a response from you and doesn't want to act like this. trust me he is just acting like this to get shock value out of you. if he tries to be nice toward you be nice back but if he acts like a d*** toward you try to tell him basically, Fuck off.

    this will work but it could have repercussions good or bad if it is a chance your willing to take take it.

    • thakyou. He's mostly just ignoring me, but when drunk he can come off quite rude. I'm still not quite sure why he changed towards me in the first place- I asked him what I could have done to be a better girlfriend (when he came round to break up with me) he just insulted me by saying I could have dressed better! he has said that I'm too seperate from his friends,but that's because he never invited me to do things with them, that he didn't get excited to see me anymore..


      he doesn't understand what is right and wrong...IT'S his f***ing fault that he broke up with you.

      he seems like a humongous douchebag

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What Guys Said 1

  • sounds like he still has feelings for you hence why the anger/jealousy/awkwardness is still their. He's just not handling it very maturely! My ex and I attempted friends but I couldn't face it as deep down I still wanted more. And when she found another guy I literally couldn't face talking to her and acting like everything was OK. I wasn't rude but I basically dropped all contact and avoided seeing her as much as possible. All you can do is leave him alone. It's not your problem anymore he's your ex now!

    • thanks for the reply. Did you break up with her or did she break up with you?

      This is why I'm sort of confused st my ex's behaviour- because HE broke up with me ... surely he should be happy and get on with things? He's also lately deleted all our fb pictures together barr the ones in which we don't look like a couple... he seems to be trying far too hard to get me out of his life...

    • I broke up with her (although we both knew it wasn't working) but I was still hurt and had feelings for it. I doubted my decision for weeks and more than once thought I had made a mistake but by that time she was seeing someone else anyway. This also made it worse as nobody likes seeing an ex with someone else which is probably why your exes behavior is so confusing.

    • ah, I'm sorry to hear that. hope you feel better about it now :) he told me he didn't feel that he loved me anymore, and seemed to want things to be over for months before hand ( never came round unless I asked him, didn't want to be near me in public, very little sex life, never really talked anymore) so I don't know, maybe he feels bed about how he treated me, he felt guilty that I was doing nice things for him when I was scared he didn't love me anymore, so me being nice now probably won't help?!

What Girls Said 2

  • Sometimes when people break up even if the person broke up with you.. they realize what they lost..after your gone.. and moved on. So it seems like he still cares for you

  • Alot of tension between you two.

    • sigh, Iknow but there doesn't have to be. I've told him I don't hold anything against him, and can't we just move on and be friends again... he jsut can't seem to just relax and be friendly anymore...

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