Why would a guy say he still wants to be friends with you after a breakup and then never speak to you again?

I don't get it.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Men and women do this so they can be ease off the other slowly with the sense of civil satisfaction. There's no drama, the other person thinks their feelings are cared about, and moving on is cake after that. Most people pull the "just friends" crap to ease their "guilt" about the break up, or to be helped ashore from the drowning of feelings that they are experiencing. Then it's a selfish issue with the person. They feel that they can deal with you on their terms anytime they please since they KNOW you have feelings for the them. It's a "its all about me" tactic that many don't figure out until it's too late. This is why I am never "friends" with my exes. What kind of "friendship" would it be anyway? You get to sit and have false hope, put your life on hold, be jealous of everyone your ex talks to, be used as garbage conversation, and eventually get crushed when your ex moves on to someone else while you are still in limbo. What does your ex get? Control over the situation with you, you being there when they need you, a back-up plan in case it doesn't work with the next person, guilt eased, having the same type of relationship just without the commitment or intimasy, and the satisfaction of knowing you are still chasing them to a point. What kind of friendship is that?!?! I say cut all communication as soon as they try to pull that card and just say no, because it will play out like I mentioned above about 90% of the time and that just shows how selfish they are. Go out and get what you deserve.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Saying "we can still be friends" makes the girl feel good so he can get the hell out of there and not have to explain in detail why he doesn't want to be with her.

    For some guys, it's that you are just too different; other times it's that the guy really, really wanted a romantic relationship and in that case friendship instead of romance is hell.

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What Girls Said 2

  • It's usually a quick way for them to get off easy, instead of you drilling them about why they don't want to be friends or dealing with the hysterics. They say they do but the second your conversation ends, it's over for them. A lot of guys just want to be done with it and put it in the past.

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  • everyone says they want to be friends, but few can pull that off

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