I cheated, should I tell my gf?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Do you love him?
    What does he think about cheating?
    Do you feel the need to make it again?
    On my opinion if its a biological accident you shouldn't but if there are troubles on deep, you must.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • No. You already live with the burden for lying to her everyday, why should you make your girlfriend sad too?

    you dont need to tell, but you need to make decision. think again why you cheated. think who deserve you more. your girlfriend or your new one.

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    • Who DESERVES her more? Well the shittier person obviously deserves her more! 😂

  • Oh boy. Unpopular opinion coming through: NO.

    My reasoning depends a lot on your situation. Did you do it only once, or several times? If once, did you feel bad? (won't bother asking if you felt bad after multiple times, because that answer's obviously no in itself). Did you regret your actions, and feel overcome with remorse in a way that you just had to make amends?

    If you genuinely feel sorry for what you've done, and if it's a one-time thing, then no, I wouldn't tell her. Think of it this way: humans have trouble keeping secrets because things wear on our brains. It's easier to tell someone about our problems because we are sharing in our misery, creating a camaraderie with someone through our pain. Whatever guilt you may feel would be easily alleviated by telling your partner, but then they would have to know and suffer heartbreak. Again, assuming it was a once time thing and you really feel bad and want to make up for it, why would you want to hurt that person in such a way?

    Granted, some people might say it's worse if your girlfriend hears it from someone else. Personally, if my boyfriend cheated on me once, felt awful, and resolved not to tell me to spare me from heartbreak, only for me to find out later from someone else... well, I think I'd appreciate it more than if he flat out told me. It'd hurt, sure, and my trust would be shattered--but he would be showing me that he cared enough about my own happiness to refrain from telling me. Keep in mind, I'm not promoting hiding an affair from your S. O.--I'm saying that, if you do it ONCE and TRULY feel guilty/repentant for your actions, it is better for you to keep that pain to yourself, because telling your S. O. is only going to plant the seeds of doubt, ruin your relationship, and hurt everyone involved. If you keep it to yourself, however, you alone maintain the burden of remembering what you did. You suffer in silence for your actions, while your S. O. remains blissfully unaware. Essentially, you are paying for what you did without bringing down the other person.

    So no, I don't think you should tell your girlfriend, assuming it was a one-time thing and you truly feel guilty. However. If you did it more than once, and/or feel little to no guilt for the act, I would tell your S. O., because it is clear that you don't care enough about them to continue a monogamous relationship with only them, to devote your time and love only to them, and they deserve better.

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    • Can the people who downvoted me share their opinions? I’d love to hear the opposition’s point of view

    • I agree with you, not telling that you cheated it's the best option, if you cheat multiple times, well then break up with your gf/bf

    • @CaptainLegal exactly. In my opinion cheating is awful, it destroys trust and frankly I don’t know if I could ever move past something like that. Still, id prefer my partner choosing to spare my feelings and keep a one-time lapse of judgement to themselves. If it’s bad multiple times, then God help them because I’m coming for them.

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What Guys Said 60

  • Yes, if she finds out about what happened from someone else, things would get a lot worse. telling her the truth builds a chance to fix things more than trying to hide it.

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  • Are you crazy? No, keep it quiet. If you tell her, she's gonna get mad. If she finds out from somebody else, act enraged and tell her it's a filthy lie. Remember, a lie's as good as the truth, if you can get somebody to believe it. She'll probably never find out. Play the odds.

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  • No, you should keep on stabbing her in the back by pretending that she matters to you and that you're faithful. Obvs.

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  • The fuck? No! Break up with her, and then go to the other girl and try to start something with her. It's better to be ditched for someone else than cheated on with them. Leave. She doesn't need your shit. Go fuck with someone else if that's what you're going to do anyways.

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  • 100% yes. Every moment you two are together now is a lie. You are now tricking her into even being with you. If they decide to stay with you it should only be based on truth and her knowing the conditions she is accepting by being with you.

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  • No, die with that information. I know a lot of people will say you should be honest but chances are you'll end it all that way. If you love her Just die with it

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  • No. Never tell someone something that will hurt him for the purpose of clearing your conscience. You live with it.

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  • If you loved her then you wouldn't have cheated on her in the first place. So you should just break up and let her live her life.

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  • If it was a 1 time thing , Then likely it will hunt you if you don't but the fact that it happen. is another thing you need to look at your relationship with your partner and think why did you to begin with are you unhappy? Were you drunk? Was it even your fault? Did you get played and now there gone?
    All these things happen to someone who fells bad about it. . OR
    did you do it on because you wanted to were you looking for someone to cheat with.. because your unhappy with your partner but did not want to make them cry. ?

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  • Really important question so I can advice right.
    Was it with a guy?

    If it’s with a guy then you are bisexual.
    Answer please then I can proceed

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  • If you girls start having secrets to each other, then even if you marry her, it is 100 percent sure that you will get divorced because of your insecurities. TELL HER

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  • either

    tell the truth and have her forever lack trust in you, then break up because you are incapable of being faithful (don't ask for forgiveness, you're not worth it)

    keep it secret and forever know you're not worth her trust and faith, knowing you went behind her back out of immaturity and childishness. let it rot you from the inside out

    i'd choose option 1, option 2 could lead to her misery as well as she wonders why you're miserable. you screwed up, the solution is to break up because of you

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  • Tell her and if she breaks up with you then hopefully you learn your lesson. Better to tell her than let her find out some other way.

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  • It doesn't count if you cheat on girls. Everyone knows that.

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  • Yeah tell her wtf it's wrong with you. It's wrong to build a relationship based on lies and it's gonna be 10 times worst is she finds out

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  • Yeah. Then apologize. Then break up and give her a chance to find someone who isn't a piece of shit

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  • Yes because she will find out then u need to promise her u will never do it again. You need to find out y u cheated and don't do it again

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  • Nah, just blow your brains out. Problem solved, one less shit-for-brains cheater in the world.

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  • Yup you should if she finds out. She will suffer more.

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  • Yes be honest better then if she finds out somewhere else

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What Girls Said 30

  • You should breakup with her in a way that isn't hurtful. Make it seem like it's not working for a while, so she won't be hurt when you tell her. If you tell her she's likely going to leave you anyway and she will be really hurt. If you don't tell her, you're both going to live a lie. Making the relationship go downwards is better.

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  • yes tell her because as much as you want to lie to yourself you love her your actions show you don't and also if she cheated wouldn't you like to know

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  • Yes you should tell her, reverse the roles how would you feel like if they cheated and sat i your face telling you they loved you? you messed up but she has a right to know

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  • Uhm, yes?

    You’re LYING to your SO about something that could drastically change your relationship. You’re not telling them out of FEAR of losing them. That is NOT your choice to make, it’s THEIRS.

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  • Yes of course you should tell her, how is this even a question?

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  • You should tell her. Believe me it would be much better if she heard it from you than from anywhere else.

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  • You OWE her to tell. Don't care how scared or worried you are.

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  • No. Just end the relationship and don't cheat again.

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  • Of course. Out of respect you should do that. Not everyone would like to have a relationship with a cheater.

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  • Yes. You already did a big mistake. Doing another one by lying or hiding it from her worsens it. And, you HAVE to accept the consequences.

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  • Yes you should really to her honestly is a good thing.

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  • how did you cheat? You ate another pussy? lol Lesbian relationships are so funny

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  • yes. even if it was a mistake and you regret it and it will never happen again. you should tell her

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  • yes becuz if she finds out without u telling her it won't be good so if you want to still be with her u need to let her know

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  • Yes of course

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  • I would want to know. Even if it wrecked me.

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  • you should...

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  • Yes you should tell her

    Wtf is wrong with you

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  • Yes..

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  • Yes, tell
    xx
    ~ Mrs Manson

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