What I am talking about is abusing your SO in a manipulative way and pushing them into break up with you by seeking excuses, instead your SO was still loving you in all ways. Cheating isn't something it only happens when it is physical to me.
This is completely a very vulgar thing to me and it is only deceiving yourself. Most people are doing this in order to not cheat their partner, but they are only not cheating in a "technical" way. Those kind of people are not even spending time with their SO, but spending time with someone else more and saying that "I am not even flirting" isn't anything innocent to me.
When you break up with your ex, if you are starting to date with that person you have been talking to a lot during your relationship, it becomes cheating to me. Whoever is defending it or finding normal are also the ones who have tendency to be a cheater to me, you can feel offended freely. If you were never sure about your feelings, then you should had never said "I love you" to that person. If you did said and just in few months, you started having interest with others, then you are a player.
ps. I have never been cheated, this is something very ugly to me and I wondered your opinions.
Most Helpful Guys
It's not a very nice thing and I've had it happen to me long ago with an ex with whom I was engaged to be married, while she started talking to another guy and then started dating him just weeks after calling off the engagement. Still I consider it at least a little bit more ethical than outright cheating since there's no element of deception involved.
At least she didn't do this behind my back while letting me be oblivious about the affair, if you will. Though it was still very painful and felt like she did kind of do something behind my back and those words she said, like that she'll love me no matter what, even if I became cripple, suddenly started to seem very empty after that. She also convinced me that guy she was talking to was only a friend, even joked and laughed about the idea of ever being together, only to be together with him a few weeks after.
If there was anything I learned from the experience, it's to not trust in such words of affection so much. I learned about how fickle people can be. But I see it as kind of a helpless situation because she seem to start becoming attached to that guy before she broke up with me, and maybe he became a natural choice after calling off the engagement. I also try to exhibit some doubt and try not to jump to the conclusion that she intentionally deceived me the whole time. Maybe she did just genuinely change her mind after the break up.
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yeah if she was talking to a guy when we we're still together that's obviously cheating, but anything that happens after the breakup is irrelevant because I've already moved on at that point
Most Helpful Girls
This exact situation happened me with my ex. He was being such a dickhead to me and he was spending an awful lot of time with this other girl. We were doing long distance at the time and I flew to the country he was teaching in because I hadn’t seen him since Christmas. He left to go on holidays the exact week I flew out so I broke up with him. A week later, he put his relationship with that girl on Facebook. While I have no proof that he did cheat, my gut feeling tells me he did.
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This happened to me. We had just moved in together 4 months earlier, a month before celebrated our 2 year anniversary. Said all these things “I love living with you, I can’t imagine doing this with anyone else, I love things being ours and making decisions together, thanks for helping me be a better person” and then bam. Blindsided break up. Packed up all his shit and left. Two weeks later he’s with a co worker. He had been texting her and liking her photos on instagram while we were still together (come to find out later).
I agree with most everything you’ve said, but technically I don’t call it cheating. It’s awful, disgusting and disrespectful and definitely on the same level to me, but it should have its own name.