are there signs or hints that I can tell if she is?
Most Helpful Guy
Well, women typically are far more adept at hiding an affair than guys (generalisation)
That said, ask her about what you're thinking, whether there's a need for certain on your part and what needs to happen to move forward. Obviously if she's having an affair, then she probably has moved past your relationship and that's something else you'll need to cope with.
Point is, get it out in the open and simply ask her the question.0