OK so we dated and broke up a little over 3months ago. We've had NC but noww she has contacted me and seems to be testing the waters for friendship. She is dating a guy who was already in love with her. He was around when we were together and whilst I'm pretty sure nothing happened whilst we were dating he moved in pretty fast after we broke up. I just can't handle seeing them together. I realize I need to move on but just don't see how if I have them in my life. I still feel angry and hurt when pics of them flash up on FB. I feel betrayed and the idea of friendship with either of them feels repulsive. Am I overreacting or do you think this is a fair point. I'm not sure how I'm going to approach telling her we can't be friends as I don't want to make a big drama out of it anymore but I can't sit back and act like everything is fine between us.
Most Helpful Girl
I think your feelings and thoughts are where they should be after a breakup, especially one just a few months ago. I think you need to stay true to yourself and allow time to heal your wounds and allow yourself to grow as a bigger and better person.
I don't know the circumstances of the break up, but I do know you need to focus on yourself and your life. Although the break up is hard, time heals all wounds. Give yourself time and patience to move on, and allow your friendship with your ex to mature into something later down the road.
Politely, let her offer of being friends down and say although I would love to be friends, I cannot right now, maybe sometime in the future. If she loves you, even as a friend, she will understand. By her moving on so quickly is clearly very hurtful and leaves undesirable feelings of not knowing how she and her new romance got together so soon.
Give yourself time to move on. Let this be a blessing in disguise- you now become the new, 2011 handsome single man. Embrace being single and do things you otherwise didn't or would never have. Do community activities- sports, classes, etc. Maybe join a gym, or go to crazy parties or hang out with friends you haven't seen in years. Eventually, you'll find your true love too and your ex will seem like nothing more than a friend. I promise it will get better, it always does. Until then, focus on your one true love- yourself.0