Soooo am I being a bitch? Or no?

So my boyfriend and I have been together 4 years have our own place together etc etc but lately I guess I wouldn’t even say lately but past two years have been HARD with money and just ya kinda fighting last year he didn’t even take the time to get me a birthday present. I can’t remember if it was because we didn’t have money or not probably didn’t have a lot this year ONCE AGAIN we don’t have any money he told me he would take care of the bills so my paycheck could go to myself for once in my life but no I payed both of our insurance because it automatically came out of my check and normally it comes out of his. So for my birthday I have a whopping 100 dollars and some of that goes to gas and food. I just don’t understand I’m 24 years old and I see other girls get spoiled nope not me I pay half rent and half the bills he does pay my phone bill and insurance SOMETIMES. Also told me he would get my car tags he says he’s paid for them well my car has had expired tags for 2 months now and says I can’t go get them for some crazy reason only he can anyways am I being a bitch because I feel done doing this I feel like I never have money for myself and it’s not like this is new it’s been going on for two years.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Sounds like you are blaming him for both if your problems. You'll both mad more money as your careers progress, some people don't land a high paying job straight away. So yes, you are being a bit of a bitch. For example I moved in with my girlfriend right after uni, we were stone broke... Couldn't afford heating because it was oil and minimum order was £500. So we kept each other warm, ate simple food and things got better. Weirdly it still feels like one of the happiest times of my life though because we were very, very happy and didn't have anything.

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  • Welcome to adulthood and actual responsibility. Unfortunately, what you're experiencing is
    how life works for many many people. You're not alone at all!

    1. Dont compare yourself to anyone else. Their circumstances are different.

    2. Some people make more money than others. Its not a crime, get used it it.

    3. Your boyfriend needs to be a bit more responsible too. If he says he's going to do something, then he'd better step up and do it or keep his mouth shut about what he says he'll pay (vehicle registration - that's a serious issue that needs to be addressed ASAP or it'll cost you a LOT more $ that you don't have).

    4. Your B'day is important to you (my wife too). I struggle each year what to get her. Last year I (FINALLY, after 3 years) gave her a jewelry cabinet I built. This year she's getting an $80 watch. Your boyfriend needs to pay attention and make sure he does "something" that shows he's thinking about you.

    5. Money isn't everything, but it definitely helps make life a LOT easier. I've been at both spectrums. Being poor sucks, but I learned to make do with what little I had.

    You could be less whiny about your situation, but I totally understand your frustration and what seems to be a never ending "short on money" life. Truth me, things WILL get better. Just hang in there and do your best with what you have.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Okay why would you think that your paycheck should be kept for yourself? Why do you think you can expect your boyfriend to keep you he is not your parent? GET A SECOND JOB !!!
    Make something for yourself?

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    • Only for my birthday? It’s not a every week thing

    • And honestly that’s a great idea my paychecks are around 1,000 a part time job for me would be like bar tending but he won’t let me do that 🤣💀

    • Q
      what he won't let you? No you are your own person

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 9

  • Does he genuinely try be fair on funds.

    It is one thing if he simply doesn't have the money to make it right. He can always help make it right, simply by showing how much he cares about you. EFFORT IS FREE

    It is another thing if he has the money and doesn't take care of you the way you do for him. In that case it is time to go.

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  • Nah, you're not a b*tch. Financial strain naturally ruins lots of relationships. You guys should be setting goals together on how to save more money and make more money. A collaborative effort to fight against your guys financial problems will help grow your guys relationship. Best of luck to you guys.

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  • It sounds like you need to vent that out to him.
    1. Get better jobs
    2. Budget money
    3. Have Sex
    4. Forgive and love each other
    5. If he doesn’t listen he will drag you down with his broke ass.
    6. Breakup and find someone who is better.
    7. Save money before you break up with him

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  • Yeah, you absolutely are. Your arrangement is nothing but fair. You each pay 50% for every shared bill. Would you rather be alone and pay 100% of those same bills?

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  • Every one needs to be able to spend some money on them selves. If you don't you will hate life and work. Does he spend money on himself? If so I don't see why you should not.

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  • I think it's warranted towards him for the things he said he was going to do that he did not do. Money shouldn't be an issue with two people putting everything together but it's part of life. I lived with my ex and split everything down the middle she still chose to go do her thing but we both had spending money so no you feel is if it's not working and you could do better on your own then maybe that's the move you should make. If he's slacking then he needs to definitely step up to the plate but give him a chance to unless you already have then enough is enough. You're young you shouldn't be struggling if you don't have to.

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  • Tl;dr Yes

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    • (I did read it)
      Reading your comment on the other post about "not letting you" he's also being a bitch.

  • Didn't bother reading... yes you are.

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  • Honestly money ain't shit... If the love is real then stay strong but if he's fucking up in the love department then its not worth your time... at the end of the day you need 2 love you! All choices made going forward should be in favor of you loving you! And if you have 2 trash him in order to achieve that self love then trash him... but instead of thinking that you wanna be catered too. like all these phony bitches using random old men for money because they know they got it... these bitches have given up a part of their soul for that money they aren't happy... So it makes more sense to do what is best for you. Don't bitch about what you don't have or what's not working focus on what is working, what you can have, and then put your mind to getting it... You don't need a man for shit!

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